I’ll Take The Root Canal Instead Of The Uterine Ablation

Blood quickly started running out of my vagina, through my underwear, soaking my very awesome olive green skinny jeans and started oozing down my leg.

 

As I was standing in line to pay at H&M.

 

Mind you that I was not wearing a sweater or coat to cover my bottom or to wrap around in front of me, and my handbag is medium size and structured so also of no use for camouflage.

 

Also I had just inserted TWO super tampons just one hour earlier as my period started yesterday morning.

 

I’d also like to take this time to remind you that I had just started my period two weeks ago when I bled all over the dental exam chair while getting a root canal. And since I haven’t had my period in about four days, well it was really time for it to start again.

 

Which is why I was seriously saving for a Uterine Ablation or putting one on my daughter’s Christmas list.

“Dear Santa, I would very much like Saige the new American Girl Doll, Roller Blades, an iPod Touch, and of course a Uterine Ablation for my mom so she doesn’t bleed through clothing when we are out in public anymore. Love, Eloise”

 

Because when you have high deductible insurance you pray to Santa for all things to do with your uterus.

 

So while I’ve been saving up for a fun visit to the doctor to have my uterus scraped and lasered and stuff…a tooth fell out because a filling from 1975 went bad. And I ignored this hole in my mouth for about four months(did I mention we also don’t have dental insurance) until HOLY HELL A NERVE WAS EXPOSED and THE PAIN…OH THE PAIN!

 

So for the next three days I sat at the dentist getting a root canal and a crown and writing a check for $2600! Because how fun is that! I now have no pain, a new tooth and I fear my uterine ablation is now off Santa’s List.

 

Because as a mom(or parent) we don’t prioritize things like our lady parts when we need to spend money – we put off haircuts and doctor’s appointments, going to the dentist and buying ourselves Spring wardrobes while we make sure our kids are properly outfitted and signed up for soccer.

family budget

Mom Money Prioritization goes something like this….

1. Food for kids

2. Shelter for kids

3. Clothing and shoes for kids

4. Cat food and litter

5. School supplies and books for kids

6. Activities for kids – sports, dance, piano et al

7. Birthdays and holidays for kids including presents

8. Your kids friend’s birthday presents

9. Charitable contributions

10. Kids dental and doctor visits.

11. Braces for kids

12. Vet visit for cat

13. Cell phone bills

14. House repair needs

15. Vacation savings

16. Saving for college

17. One haircut per year

18. Razor refills to shave your legs

19. Dental appointments for you

20. Your uterus

 

So off I go to buy another box(or 20) of Super Tampons and wish someday the tampon makers would realize that they have a HUGE market to capture of perimenopausal women who need the Super Deluxe Paper Towel Roll Size Extra Absorbent Tampons so they don’t have to worry about leaking out in front of their children. Or the cashier at H&M. Or their dentist. Or on the car seat. Or ever.

 

Do you prioritize money differently now that you are a parent?

About Tracy


My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, and fashion expert - and ruler of my own little universe(very small). Aren't we all. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

Comments

  1. says

    OMG. Tracy, you know that I know exactly what you’re talkin’ about! Have you ever looked at the pads for a Swiffer Wet Jet? I have. And not in a good way.

    I really want to start an Ablation Fund for you.
    Jenny recently posted..Old Things

  2. Gina says

    Oh you poor thing. I totally feel your pain and finally broke down at 30 and had a complete hysterectomy. Going to stores and having someone say did you know that you have blood all over your pants is the worst. You just wanna say ummm yes I freaking planned it that way it’s the new trend haven’t you heard!! Until Santa or the God’s above can deliver have you thought about Birth Control to slow the process down? Your list is totally correct and it just gets longer the older they get!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  3. says

    We have a high deductible plan, too. So I feel you on that. Unfortunately, we have so many health issues in this family, we hit that deductible every year. So I rewarded myself with a uterine ablation a few years ago. So incredibly worth it.

    Do you have an HSA option? We have found that to be a great way to set aside money for health care expenses. You’re still spending the same money, but somehow it feels less painful when you never see it (it is taken pre-tax out of hubby’s paycheck). His employer also contributes to our HSA each year if we do things like get a physical, etc…

    I’m going to cross my fingers that your hubby’s company has something like that. If not, I would also feel like donating to a fund for you. :) Hugs!

    • says

      We are self-employed and self-insured so that is not an option. But if we have a year that we meet the deductible(please no) anyway – well I am first in line for the ablation!

  4. says

    OH Tracy. Oh how you make me laugh the bitter laugh of a woman who has also de-prioritzed her own uterus. So sorry you are going through this. I am sending hugs, chocolate and will link arms with you in the search to find Super-Duper-Extra-Drier-Than-the-Sahara tampons.

    xo

  5. says

    At least you’re finding the humor? I had it done three years ago, and it has be AWESOME ever since. Imagine a world of regular tampons…like two a day for say, three days. That’s it.

    I went under, they gave me Vicodin, I took a nap, and I seriously felt fine that evening. As a bonus, you don’t have your next period. Then they get lighter and lighter for about six months.

    Best thing I ever did for my lady parts.
    Michelle@Gotchababy recently posted..Give a Book, Get a Book

  6. Alex says

    Hey Tracy… If you find a place that is offering a two for one special, I know Sarah is ready, willing, and able.. She sent me this story because I think she thinks I don’t believe. But, I’m pretty sure you’re both making this up. ;)

  7. Stacey says

    Okay… First, NEVER and I mean NEVER omit a haircut… for anything. I swear, I’ve had a standing hair appointment every 4 weeks since I was 17. I WILL NOT go without… GOOD HAIR makes for GOOD MOTHERING!!!
    Second, Get the damned ablation, next best thing to a great haircut :) The perimenopausal crazies are still around but at least the bloody freak-show is limited.

  8. says

    Well now I am just pissed. Because, aside from 2 crucial points: 1) it is THAT time and I also have the Costco size of Super Plus tampons crate and the overnight Always maxi pads and am using both – with a change every 15 minutes unless I Just Don’t Move (which didn’t go to well since today was Zumba class. Yay! bloody hell me), and 2) despite having great insurance being Canadian and not actually needing any — not one Dr has mentioned this word “ablation” to me. not once.
    Although they do tell me, with quite severe looks upon countenance “no, we cannot just rip it out because you ask us to.”
    Why? I have 3 children…totally done with it. Just seems redundant now.
    but no…apparently in your 40s you are supposed to gush like a reddened Niagara Falls. Completely normal.
    Holy Hell…where’s the Midol?
    Rorybore recently posted..WW: At Least My Nose Ain’t Nipped

    • says

      I think they should rip it out if we ask – because WE HAVE ASKED. One day they will understand our pain. I’m so sorry you are going through this also. Damn uteri.

  9. BrianT says

    I didn’t think I could say this at the age of 45….I think I’m scarred for life. It was link to the road trip that threw me over the edge. I guess that is the sign of good writing…taking a topic that scars me for life but making it humorous enough that I read the whole daman thing and become scarred. Thanks Tracy :)

  10. says

    As a somewhat 50 year old, what worked for me was going back on the pill for 3 months at a stretch and can I say how very happy I am with that decision? My gyno said it’s perfectly safe for a healthy woman with no other health issues to take until she hits menopause. If it’s an option for you, it sounds a lot easier than an ABLATION. Eww. And a hug.

    • says

      I’ve consider this – but don’t know how I feel about hormones? I was on the pill for 20 years and now just want all this shit out. All of it. lol

  11. says

    Oh how I feel your pain. I got the Mirena IUD after Zoey was born 3 years ago- mainly because I was lured in with promises of “no more periods” for 5 years. Liars. Clearly my uterus is punishing me for the hostile work environment she’s been subjected to over the past 10 years because I went from 1 period lasting 3-4 days a month to a scene from a horror film at least 2 weeks out of every month. Stupid uterus. We are no longer on speaking terms.
    Delia the Semi Domesticated Mama recently posted..He Said, She Said: Horse Face

    • says

      So true – after my root canal my dentist was all like “We will see you in 6 months!” and I was all like “Um – 6 years you mean?”

  12. beth says

    You are not alone,

    And i suspect we could have a million member facebook page if we were simply willing to share this out loud..

    I have been not working ( i am a free lance contractor) and laying on the couch with hot packs and refusing to go to the doctor , because well… we still owe 400 on the rent and lets face it the house is more important to more people than my uterus… and my broken tooth and havent been on BP meds for over a year because the check up and tests is more than we can afford, and yes obama care will help this somewhat, but still a deductible isnt evn something i can afford not to mention monthly premiums..

  13. says

    Wait this is a thing? I thought I was the only one! I too started bleeding like a stuck pig when I turned 40. Looked into ablation but got scared and decided to try the pill instead, and it has totally helped. Maybe try it too while you save up?

    • says

      Yep – being over 40 is glamorous and bloody! I’ve thought about going back on the pill – but my gosh that was so a big part of my 20s that it just seems so weird!

  14. Jen says

    Kick college savings off that list and get yourself ablated! Or would something cheaper help, like an IUD? I hate to see you going through this over and over. :(

  15. says

    I thought I was the only one with the trick trap door o’blood. I stood up next to my bed one day, felt a whoosh just as the door burst open (my BR door, not the trap door), I leapt back into bed and did a Jackson Pollock blood treatment to the inside of my bed.

    What. The. Heck.
    Amanda recently posted..Witching Hour

  16. says

    You mean I have more bleeding to look forward to? Ohhhhhhhh. I ended up having to have a D&C after I delivered my last baby and my bleeding got heavier instead of lighter. Need I mention that our baby DIED, too? All that fun – a D&C for retained products of conception – and I DIDN’T EVEN GET A BABY OUT OF IT!!!

    Anyway, my doctor tried three rounds of progesterone before the floodgates burst open and I was changing paper towel roll sized tampons every five minutes…and – even with all that absorbency – when I went to the ER bathroom to switch my 115th tampon something exploded and I got blood all over myself, the bathroom floor AND MY UGGS! I had to go tell the nurse that it looked like a murder had been committed in her bathroom but it was just my dysfunctional uterine bleeding getting a little out-of-hand. Three pelvic exams and one pelvic ultrasound later, I had a D&C and IV dilaudid and life was moderately okay.

    With that little experience under my belt, I CANNOT BELIEVE you aren’t just telling the kids “no Christmas” and getting that ablation. Wow. You are incredible and definitely deserve to have your uterus lasered…
    jen @ and two more makes FIVE recently posted..Chicken soup for the…well…certainly not the soul…

    • says

      Oh Jen. I’m so sorry and I just cannot even imagine. And yes after 40 the bleeding just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. Huge my friend. xoxo

  17. Donnamay says

    Wow! So sorry. There but for the grace of God ….. Let me know where to PayPal a donation to your ablation kickstarter campaign.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge