We’ve had our elf (Her name is Sophie. I have no idea why they named her Sophie) for several years now. Two years ago I wrote a poem about our Elf on The Shelf – of course this was after she received third degree burns for sitting on a light bulb. And the poem was written before she was a she. Sometime in mid-2011 Sophie had a sex change as before that she was a guy and then all of a sudden when she appeared in 2011 my kids declared that Sophie was now a girl.
So I bought her a skirt because girls wear skirts. duh.
The best part of writing that poem was freeing me and my mind from caring about the damn elf. I now have no guilt about our elf who now just SITS ON THE SHELF like she is suppose to do and watch the kids doing nice things all day. She’s not mischievous or silly and she doesn’t leave presents. She just sits there and we are all quite happy.
But then our orange tabby cat,Truffle really ticked me off last week so I bought him a Santa outfit that I forced him into so I could shame him with pictures or saying ‘OMG you are so damn cute’ before he ripped it off and perhaps crapped in my shoe overnight. And once I got him into the suit and applied band-aids to my hands I had a brilliant idea to make Sophie ride the Santa Cat. Please note that all of this happened while the kids were at school because these are the things that moms do when we are trying to create a special holiday moment.
Needless to say Truffle was not thrilled and his brother Tyko kept making fun of him, which did not help matters at all. Also Sophie kept falling off so I had to use duct-tape on her butt which then actually removed more of her felt. She’s had a rough life. I’m more shocked every year that Santa still shows up here.
But what this post is really about is this…don’t dress your cat in a Santa suit because….
…do you see this face…
Yeah, when we woke up this morning the Christmas tree was on the floor and most of my precious ornaments were smashed beyond recognition.
And while I was sweeping up the mess, the damn orange tabby cat just strutted by me like he owned the place.
*****
Linking up with Memories Captured, Wordful Wednesday and Inappropriate Elf!
*****
If you liked this post – Like Sellabit Mum on Facebook for more daily fun! (Christmas cookies might be involved. Or not).
You’re supposed to be my friend. You’re not supposed to make me bust my stitches.
Oh, the Santa suit on Truffle. And the Pussy remark – I DIE. *SNORT*
Alison recently posted..Beauty Is A Light In The Heart…. And Other Things
I know – poor Truffle..right? (Okay, not really). Sorry about the stitches. xo
Loved the Truffle pictures – so cute. Ornaments on floor broken – not so cute. Pay back is hell so I have heard:)
Cats are evil – but so dang cute.
What’s better than caffeine in the morning? Laughter! My girls and I just laughed the whole way through this…me a bit more because as I was reading I pictured your tree and thought to myself, “payback’s a you know what.” And then there was the tree! Sorry your tree was knocked over but this was hysterical!!!
Glad I could offer a laugh today. Damn cats.
A cat dressed as Santa! An elf riding Santa Cat! AND a pussy joke? Too much hilarity in one post. Love it.
Vikki recently posted..Super Momo
I know. Can you tell I had wine last night?
Oh, dear. Truffle’s revenge. My cat would never stand for a Santa costume – or a costume of any sort, come to think of it. Too bad about your tree.
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..About Parenting, Speaking Canadian and Star Trek
I seriously cannot believe I got it on him.
Karma’s a bitch.
While I’m sad for your ornaments, I can’t help but think that you totally deserved it for putting not only that outfit, but that damn elf on your cat. Poor Truffle. Leave the brother-humping gay cat alone.
Kate recently posted..sorrow- Just Write {65}
OMG they hump each other all the time. Drives me crazy!
I’m looking at those pictures thinking “dear god, Tracy is just asking for her cat to murder her in her sleep.”
You’re far braver than I am . . . but I am sorry about the ornament.
John (Daddy Runs a Lot) recently posted..Where I share my holiday play list
I now sleep with one eye open.
Oh my…this is hilarious. And this is the post I’m linking to for the EF round-up….LOL.
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..Three Years Ago {Share Your Life}
Thank you Nicole!
It warms a bitch’s heart to see the word pussy in big bold letters on a Christmas Elf post. As if I could love you any more than I already do.
Leslie recently posted..Look what’s under the mistletoe!
I admit that I thought of you when I wrote ‘pussy’ on that picture. That’s kind of sweet, right? lol xoxo
OMG about the tree!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing like crazy at your pics of the cat dressed up with Sophie, but I’m really bummed to hear about your ornaments!!!!!!!
Bitches be illin’, yo. (So do cats.)
Arnebya recently posted..President Obama Owes You Nothing. Yes, You.
Ohh, now I understand why the tree went down. You’re luck your “sweet” Santa kitty didn’t do worse. They seek revenge.
Kerry Ann @Vinobaby’s Voice recently posted..Holiday Recipes: Lemon Ginger Truffles
I have a feeling that he is not done yet with his payback….
I am not normally a cat person, but I have a certain respect for a cat that can take down a Christmas tree out of vengeance.
Shannon recently posted..Peace and Understanding (Wrapped Up in a Cannoli)
What, not a cat person. But I thought we were sisters?
You cat: “Do you KNOW me?”
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..This Is Not a Thanksgiving Post
Much as I love them, I firmly believe that cats are vengeful, conniving creatures. Truffle was clearly orchestrating his revenge on you the moment you put him in that Santa suit. And don’t think it’s over yet – he may very well poop in your shoe – and your laundry and your bed – before it’s all over.
Face it, Tracy… you brought this on yourself.
(But, OMG, is it funny!)
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Birth and Perspective
I know. Trust me. I’m afraid to sleep.
That pussy is so pissed off at you. I, however, love you.
Jenni Chiu @ MommyNaniBooboo recently posted..Today Belongs To Murphy.
I pretty much LOVE this comment!!! HA HA HA!
Elaine recently posted..Like Forest Gump Said…
Dying over here. Of laughter, obviously. So sorry about your tree, but oh my goodness do I love this story and those pictures!
I’ve seen evil eyes from a cat before but never quite that evil before. Sorry about your ornaments!! Ack!
Elaine recently posted..Like Forest Gump Said…
Yes, he’s still mad. But I keep putting that hat back on him because OMG hilarious.
Laughing so hard that you did this while your kids were at school. I wonder what I will do if my kids are ever all gone during the day since we don’t have a pet. Maybe play Barbies?
Jessica recently posted..The Tsk-er
Barbies is a totally accepted way to play alone…
Oh.My.God.
You?
Are too much!
Love this, love you!
xo
Galit Breen recently posted..BabbaBox {Crafting & Learning with Kids Made Easy}
Freaking hilarious!
You now have my wondering what my six year old did to our cat that made him break one of her prized ornaments (one that she made herself, of course).
Jen @ Cuddles and Chaos recently posted..Just Ask Sam: Hanukkah Edition
I cannot believe you did all of this while the girls were at school. I love it.
Your poor tree! Paybacks a bitch. But good lord are those pictures hilarious!
Caitlin MidAtlantic recently posted..The Gingerman House
Ha! That is one patient cat..kinda. Reminds me of the post about “What Pets Write in Their Journals.” (http://ow.ly/g46ZQ ) Crafty Cat wins in the end
Franticmommy recently posted..Quick Cash for Christmas: Easy Ways to Earn Some Dough (Fivrr)
now why do you think elves get no pussy?
and hot damn, I’d kill that cat for breaking my ornaments…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The Ass Clap
Kitty rebellion! SO funny! I am cracking up! And that caption made me Laugh out loud!
Adrienne recently posted..NetZero 4G Hotspot Review and Giveaway
[...] Elf on the Shelf Rides Santa Cat – Because He Can at Sellabit [...]