We’ve had our elf (Her name is Sophie. I have no idea why they named her Sophie) for several years now. Two years ago I wrote a poem about our Elf on The Shelf – of course this was after she received third degree burns for sitting on a light bulb. And the poem was written before she was a she. Sometime in mid-2011 Sophie had a sex change as before that she was a guy and then all of a sudden when she appeared in 2011 my kids declared that Sophie was now a girl.
So I bought her a skirt because girls wear skirts. duh.
The best part of writing that poem was freeing me and my mind from caring about the damn elf. I now have no guilt about our elf who now just SITS ON THE SHELF like she is suppose to do and watch the kids doing nice things all day. She’s not mischievous or silly and she doesn’t leave presents. She just sits there and we are all quite happy.
But then our orange tabby cat,Truffle really ticked me off last week so I bought him a Santa outfit that I forced him into so I could shame him with pictures or saying ‘OMG you are so damn cute’ before he ripped it off and perhaps crapped in my shoe overnight. And once I got him into the suit and applied band-aids to my hands I had a brilliant idea to make Sophie ride the Santa Cat. Please note that all of this happened while the kids were at school because these are the things that moms do when we are trying to create a special holiday moment.
Needless to say Truffle was not thrilled and his brother Tyko kept making fun of him, which did not help matters at all. Also Sophie kept falling off so I had to use duct-tape on her butt which then actually removed more of her felt. She’s had a rough life. I’m more shocked every year that Santa still shows up here.
But what this post is really about is this…don’t dress your cat in a Santa suit because….
…do you see this face…
Yeah, when we woke up this morning the Christmas tree was on the floor and most of my precious ornaments were smashed beyond recognition.
And while I was sweeping up the mess, the damn orange tabby cat just strutted by me like he owned the place.
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