Elf On The Shelf Rides Santa Cat – Because He Can

We’ve had our elf (Her name is Sophie. I have no idea why they named her Sophie) for several years now. Two years ago I wrote a poem about our Elf on The Shelf – of course this was after she received third degree burns for sitting on a light bulb. And the poem was written before she was a she. Sometime in mid-2011 Sophie had a sex change as before that she was a guy and then all of a sudden when she appeared in 2011 my kids declared that Sophie was now a girl.

 

So I bought her a skirt because girls wear skirts. duh.

The best part of writing that poem was freeing me and my mind from caring about the damn elf. I now have no guilt about our elf who now just SITS ON THE SHELF like she is suppose to do and watch the kids doing nice things all day. She’s not mischievous or silly and she doesn’t leave presents. She just sits there and we are all quite happy.

But then our orange tabby cat,Truffle really ticked me off last week so I bought him a Santa outfit that I forced him into so I could shame him with pictures or saying ‘OMG you are so damn cute’ before he ripped it off and perhaps crapped in my shoe overnight. And once I got him into the suit and applied band-aids to my hands I had a brilliant idea to make Sophie ride the Santa Cat. Please note that all of this happened while the kids were at school because these are the things that moms do when we are trying to create a special holiday moment.

Needless to say Truffle was not thrilled and his brother Tyko kept making fun of him, which did not help matters at all. Also Sophie kept falling off so I had to use duct-tape on her butt which then actually removed more of her felt. She’s had a rough life. I’m more shocked every year that Santa still shows up here.

But what this post is really about is this…don’t dress your cat in a Santa suit because….

 

…do you see this face…

Yeah, when we woke up this morning the Christmas tree was on the floor and most of my precious ornaments were smashed beyond recognition.

And while I was sweeping up the mess, the damn orange tabby cat just strutted by me like he owned the place.

*****

Linking up with Memories CapturedWordful Wednesday and Inappropriate Elf!

*****

If you liked this post – Like Sellabit Mum on Facebook for more daily fun! (Christmas cookies might be involved. Or not).

About Tracy


My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

Comments

  1. says

    What’s better than caffeine in the morning? Laughter! My girls and I just laughed the whole way through this…me a bit more because as I was reading I pictured your tree and thought to myself, “payback’s a you know what.” And then there was the tree! Sorry your tree was knocked over but this was hysterical!!!

  2. says

    Karma’s a bitch.

    While I’m sad for your ornaments, I can’t help but think that you totally deserved it for putting not only that outfit, but that damn elf on your cat. Poor Truffle. Leave the brother-humping gay cat alone.
    Kate recently posted..sorrow- Just Write {65}

  3. Jen says

    OMG about the tree!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing like crazy at your pics of the cat dressed up with Sophie, but I’m really bummed to hear about your ornaments!!!!!!!

  4. says

    Much as I love them, I firmly believe that cats are vengeful, conniving creatures. Truffle was clearly orchestrating his revenge on you the moment you put him in that Santa suit. And don’t think it’s over yet – he may very well poop in your shoe – and your laundry and your bed – before it’s all over.

    Face it, Tracy… you brought this on yourself. ;)

    (But, OMG, is it funny!)
    Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Birth and Perspective

  5. says

    Laughing so hard that you did this while your kids were at school. I wonder what I will do if my kids are ever all gone during the day since we don’t have a pet. Maybe play Barbies?
    Jessica recently posted..The Tsk-er

Trackbacks