So I already mentioned that Eloise got braces and an expander last week.
I’m now officially nominating her for “Tween in a dramatic role” for the next Academy Awards.
Today, on day seven of ‘The Expander Era” (because I have a feeling that this era will feel slightly longer than the Mesozoic Era) she looked up at me while picking at her chicken that I personally cut into pieces smaller than could be seen by the human eye and said “Mother you just have no compassion for me!”
Followed by “I will never chew again. How will I ever live!”
Which was quickly followed by “May I please just please have ice cream for dinner again as I just.cannot.chew ever again, Ever!”(Raises eyes and hands to heaven as if ice cream may fall from sky…)
To which I responded with “I can blend your chicken, rice, peas and bread all together and you can suck it through a straw if you cannot chew! No more ice cream for you! The pity party ice cream offerings ended on day three. $5 smoothies from Jamba Juice ended on day four. DQ shakes DONE on day five. Pudding kaput day six! This is day seven and we have a new world order here and you will learn to chew again!” (I stand and silently fist pump the air…)
Eloise’s rests her head on the table and whispers “Compassion Mother. Just a bit of compassion. I need you…”
“No, my dear daughter, you need to learn to chew again. You CAN chew. You KNOW HOW to chew and chew you will. You will CHEW like you’ve never chewed before.” (I hold her shoulders and look into her eyes just asking for some courage to chew…)
Eloise bows her head in defeat. Silence. Then a whispered response..”If I eat four chicken bites may I then have ice cream?”
It’s a wonder that I haven’t asked for a new Louis Vuitton handbag. I mean I’m the one who wrote the check for these AND I’m the one who has to put on her reading glasses every evening to expand the damn thing. Why is it always about them. (Helps self to ice cream after kids go to bed…)