After summarizing 2011, my children decided to make a few “suggestions” for me in 2012.
1. I will stop calling Esther by any nicknames – such as but not limited to – Boolie butt, Boo, Boo-boo, Boolie baby, Boo Bear, Boo Baby, Boolie Boo, Boo Boo Baby or anything that even rhymes with those words. Esther is almost seven, as she now reminds me, and as she also reminds me..her proper name is Esther. (She has given Astrid verbal permission to call her Boo-boo..but only at home and never in the presence of outsiders).
2. I will no longer refer to Eloise as Elmo. Astrid could not pronounce
Elmo Eloise when she first starting talking so she called Eloise, Elmo – ADORABLE. However now Astrid can say Eloise but we are now all calling her Elmo. I tell her I’m old and Elmo is seriously easier to remember than Eloise and I think we should legally change her name. It’s a much better name than “whatever your name is” which is what I say most of the time to all of my kids.
3. I will no longer tell my children that we are having monkey brains and donkey testicles for dinner whenever they ask “what’s for dinner.” I cannot help myself as I HATE that question. I mean, does it matter what’s for dinner because I’m making it whether they like it or not.
4. I will no longer call the toilet the potty.
5. I will wear my reading glasses and stop asking them to read everything for me because as Eloise puts it “so does this mean we pretty much have to read everything to you until you die?”
6. I will let them wear peace sign clothing without making the comment “OMG another peace sign – how unusual!” Or “don’t be a sheep” and then start making baaing noises.
7. I will stop singing “Oh what a beautiful morning” every morning when I wake them up.
8. I will stop trying to do the ‘running man’ dance in front of their friends. This also applies to me singing ‘can’t touch this’ randomly in front of their friends.
9. I will watch my
potty mouth bad language because when their friends are over and their two year old sister yells to the cat “Truffle, get off the fucking table” it’s pretty much not that funny. To them.
10. I will stop saying “it’s bee-eee-dee time” when it’s time for bed because, as they’ve told me, “We can now spell and have for years. You can say ‘bed’ mom..we get it.”