I had this romantic idea to go out to the woods and cut down our own Christmas tree this year. Usually we wisely go to the Ace Hardware down the block and pay $24.99. Now I know why.
I cannot sing.
So we drove and drove and kids were asking why we were driving so far. Then they started asking where all of the houses were. Then they spotted cows. Then they knew we had left the city and began to worry.
We got out of the truck and grabbed our sleds and saw, and of course as the good mother I kept saying “isn’t this fun” “isn’t it beautiful out here” “the snow is so pretty” “we will find our perfect tree out here!”
I started singing “Walking in a Winter Wonderland.”
And as we walked I kept hearing my least favorite Christmas Carols of Whine “how much farther” “I’m cold” “can’t we just buy one that somebody else just cut” “can I just ride in the sled” “do you have cocoa” “are we there yet” and perhaps my favorite carol “why are we doing this.”
So I started singing louder “Jingle Bells Jingle Bells!”
Which was met with the old Holiday favorite “Mom, you’re embarrassing us.”
I broke out in “Oh Come all ye faithful.”
Which brought on an encore of “stop touching me!”
So I mustered up an “Oh Christmas tree” with the German versus.
Which was muffled quickly by one of the old Holiday Classics “Mom has lost her mind.”
So we found a tree – after walking for an hour and finally turning back for the truck – a tree that was 20 feet from our truck.