In the afternoon of November 1, 2011 and victim was either in the basement doing laundry, upstairs putting away laundry, in the bathroom hiding from her children, or perhaps on twitter. No matter what the victim was doing – during this brief period of time – the three young children of the victim were unsupervised. This is not an alarming fact as the victim’s children usually manage quite well at many moments during the day without their mommy standing next to them.
The victim admits that she did not enter the kitchen from 3:30 until 3:45. Upon entering the kitchen at 3:45 the victim found almost an entire box of white powdered dishwasher detergent dumped on the floor. It seems that the guilty party who dumped the powder upon the floor then assumed the best way to clean it up was to get it wet to “wash” it up. Turns out this didn’t work well for the suspect. There were clumps of wet detergent everywhere as well as soapy bubbles of detergent kind of everywhere and powder still coating almost the entire kitchen floor.
Upon investigation there were several sets of footprints leaving the scene as well as several soaked towels caked with detergent left in the sink. They were sent to the lab for fingerprinting.
After seeing this mess and yelling a giant “what the eff!”, the victim then entered the family room where she found her three children sitting in a row with their eyes glued to The Cat in the Hat. You know, PBS… educational programming.
She asked, in a very calm voice I am sure, who made the mess in the kitchen? All three children looked at her and blamed “not me” “I dunno” and “what mess.”
Noting white granules on all six feet facing her she then said “I’m not mad at who did this, I just want to know what happened and some help cleaning it up.” She continued “and since this was a dry mess – remember vacuums are best for dry messes. When you add water to a dry mess – you just make a bigger and wetter mess. Trust me on this. When I was nine I spilled a huge potted plant on our best carpeting and instead of just vacuuming up the evidence I got a very wet towel to mop up the dirt and guess what I made..MUD! Mud that ruined our carpeting.” (She did not share the frivolous information of also hiding this mess from her mother and remembers also blaming “not me” for this crime.)
She felt proud that she is not raising narcs and that they are covering for their guilty sister, but because she is also judge and jury she has decided they are all guilty until proven innocent.
Almost nine years old. Knows better. Has been known to stretch the truth on occasion. Tall enough to reach the sink and knows where the towels are stored. Has been known to be wicked smart but lacks common sense at times. Her alibi is that she was reading a book in the living room when the events happened at 3:40. Her sisters will not confirm nor deny this.
Six years old. Has been known to be clumsy. Could have tipped over the soap while reaching for something else. Can now reach the sink without a chair. I do not believe she would act alone. Has admitted to being in the kitchen when the events unfolded BUT claims she was petting the cats and singing a show tune and did not quite see what happened.
Two years old. Has access to the soap but I believe if she dumped the soap I would have heard a loud “UH OH!” Cannot reach the sink without a chair and help. Doesn’t know where the towels are. When asked about her whereabouts during this time she responded with “I want goldfish crackers.” We at first thought she could be bribed as a witness to turn in her sisters, but she will not talk. I’m not quite sure she even remembers this happening.
Court proceedings start on Friday. Stay tuned.
I’m sure they are hoping for Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.
I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out www.BleachItAway.com. Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.
Also linked up with Mamakatslosinit’s incredibly famous writers workshop.