I took Astrid to Target on Wednesday. You know how for your third child Target is like the zoo or the library but better since you don’t actually have to be at the zoo or the library. And Target has a Starbucks in it …at least that is what you tell them as you have to go to Target 2-5 times a week for toilet paper or milk or cute shoes or bows or pillows or glue or something? Target really needs a pet department..with actual animals to look at. Maybe just fish. That would make Target perfect.
Anyway, as I’m getting her out of the car she yells “Me no like Target, mama!!!” Like really loudly for everyone to hear.
I was ashamed. Not that I was taking her to Target AGAIN, but that she could take the lords name in vain like that. It’s like totally against our religion. Women in the parking lot held their hands to their hearts as they shook their heads in shock.
So after a long confessional in the big red cart, some extra goldfish crackers and a juice box – all non-organic, we came home and decided the only way to repent was to sing “I Like Target” over and over again. And really mean it. Like really mean it. Because we will probably have to go back tomorrow. To buy bread or sushi or a new handbag or tampons or nail polish or something.
I totally should have been a Catholic school teacher in 1953.