The Four Friends You Need

I believe there are four types of friends that you need in your life, and that you need to also be for others.


1. Be someone who will bring a latte(or insert drink of choice)when a person most needs it. When you are sick, tired, overwhelmed, sad, need a smile, alive, just because. Because. Be that person. And don’t expect to be invited in or stay – unless they want you to. But don’t just dump and run either. Especially if it’s below zero in Minnesota. Because a frozen latte would kind of suck for that friend. Because now it’s something not to be enjoyed – but something to be thrown away and cursed at. And now they are disappointed because a latte sounded so good and now that didn’t get one. So be the friend that will bring a hot latte just at the right time. Otherwise forget about delivering it and just drink it yourself.


2. Be someone who will never judge. I mean sure, those pants look ridiculous on her, and yeah she didn’t do the best job on that project, and sure she should respect her mother-in-law a little more, and maybe she’s a horrible driver, and maybe SHE’S WRONG – but be the friend who lets her know that she’s awesome even though she’s really not. Because everyone needs someone just to sit with them and let them know they are okay. Even though you know deep in your heart that she’s wrong. But don’t tell her that. And maybe don’t drink wine during this gathering with her because if you drink wine the judging would start. So just drink coffee and nod and give her that caring look. This is what friends do.


3. Move the body. I mean I hope none of my good friends murder anyone, but if they do, someone needs to help them move the body. I guess I would do this in a strange Scandal type of way and I’d even wear a white trench coat and drink red wine while I was doing it. I mean, please don’t kill anyone – but yeah, I’ll move the body for you. But I don’t dig holes because I’m deathly afraid of worms – so you’re on your own there sister-girlfriend. You need a better friend than I am to dig the hole for the body that we just moved while wearing our white trench coats.


4. Take care of your pets when you travel. And not just feed them, water them, clean the litter box, and bring in the mail and papers – but a good friend will play with the pets, treat the pets as their own, and maybe text pictures of the pets to you each day. Yes, a good friend sends you pictures of your happy, healthy pet each day. Be that friend, even if you hate cats.


What’s on your list of the type of friends you need and that you need to be for others?


40 Years Ago I Turned 4

It’s 12:06am.


I received my Barbie suitcase for my fourth birthday. My mom and aunts sewed all of the clothing. I still have most of it.


When I was 18 and found out that my mom had kept most of my precious toys of childhood – my Baby Alive, my Barbies(including Midge), my Little People, my collection of stuffed animals, and my 45s – I laughed at her and packed it all away deciding that I would toss it all when I bought my own house.


And here I am now 26 years later with Barbies that my kids play with, Little People Astrid sets up almost daily, and 45s that we dance to when we can. (The stuffed animals I threw away though…because yuck).

4 and 44

I don’t have 44 years of wisdom, or 44 things to tell you about myself. Or even 4 for that matter.


I just have two.


1. Listen to your mother. Because even though she seems crazy…it’s just because she’s a mother and one day you will see she knew better. Let her in. She knows stuff.


2. Love your dad. And make your dad play dolls with you and paint his nails, and let him spoil you like his little girl even when you’re not so little…because there’s nothing like a dad.

Oh and one more…

3. Cake and wine really are the perfect birthday treat. At any hour.


And Happy Birthday to my Grandma today! 89!!! Love you Gram and so thankful to be driving up to celebrate together. xo




How To Order At A Restaurant

I took the girls out to eat on Saturday night. And by ‘the girls’ I don’t mean my breasts because no matter how insignificant they are, those ‘girls’ come with me everywhere I go and can’t stay home while I’m dining out even though sometimes it may look like I’ve left them behind. When I say ‘the girls’ I mean my children and since I only have girls I just say girls instead of my kids or my spawn or my offspring or my rug-rats or my children or the short-ones or whatever.


I asked the girls where they wanted to go eat and they mentioned the usual suspects – Pizza Luce, Noodles, The Nook, D’amico. I groaned that groan that kids groan when you mention something they don’t like. I love making that groan. Because frankly I do love those places but I’m getting sick of going there as we go there a lot knowing the girls will all find something to eat that they like. And bitching is minimized. Bitching minimization is usually a key component of all meals.

So I told them that they didn’t have a vote on Saturday as I was taking them to Salut because I wanted a decent glass of wine, linen napkins, and a salad made with something besides iceberg. As we were walking into the restaurant on this fine Saturday night I noticed the crowd was mostly filled with people in suits and dresses – the pre-theatre crowd and I smiled inside while I looked down at my girls thankful that I don’t have to remind them about manners and expectations and napkins on their laps. The relaxing glass of wine was just minutes away.


The four of us sat and enjoyed our beverages – one wine, two Shirley Temples and one milk – as we chatted softly and ordered our dinners. We discussed the menu in depth and they ordered pomme frites, fresh bread, linguine, an American Cheeseburger, a bowl of fresh fruit and an order of profiteroles to share. I studied the menu carefully and decided on a beautiful Nicoise salad with seared tuna.


Best Saturday night ever.


And then their food came – their food looked glorious. I helped get everyone situated – noodles cut smaller, ketchup poured, waters refilled and I waited and waited for my meal. The girls were nearly done with their meals and I started stealing grapes and pomme frites. When our server came back again, I had decided that enough time had passed and my meal really should be here, so I inquired as to it’s arrival time.


And she said “Um, ma’am – you didn’t order anything for yourself. I guess I just assumed you were treating the girls because they all ordered and then you smiled at me as you handed me the menus and said ‘thank you so much!'”


“I never ordered? Really?” I replied.


Eloise interrupted “Mom, it’s true, I never heard you order.”


“So I brought you all to my restaurant of choice for the ONE TIME IN 2012 and I did not order a meal?!” I cried.


Esther started laughing “Well you can bring us back and try to order again sometime because the food is AWESOME!”


So I finished my wine and we went home. I ate a bag of microwave popcorn for dinner after the kids went to bed.


Have you ever forgotten something so basic?



I’m honored to be featured on BonBon Break today talking about how moms rarely take the time we need for ourselves.


Isn’t it about time you like Sellabit Mum on Facebook?  I’ll pay you in cute puppies. Maybe. Or kittens if you go that way. Because I go that way.


MommyJuice Wines Review and Giveaway!

I am so excited to share MommyJuice Wines with you!  I love the name, branding and the idea so much.

What they say…

Being a Mom is a constant juggling act. Whether it’s playdates and homework, diapers and burp cloths, or finding that perfect balance between work and home, Moms everywhere deserve a break.

So tuck your kids into bed, sit down and have a glass of MommyJuice—because you deserve it!
Oh we so do deserve it!

[Read more…]


Astrid 15 months…

Hey everyone – only 3 more months of this before she reaches that famous 18 month age and then you will be saved of these updates until she is 2.  The countdown begins.  I know you will miss them. ;))
Dear Astrid,

15 months – officially a toddler, but as I mentioned to you earlier  you will be known as my baby until you are 79.  Get used to it.

You are exhibiting what I hear is typical toddler behavior though, and frankly it is exhausting.  When your sisters were little, my mom used to say “your kids are not normal” and I would be like “huh, they are totally normal,perfectly behaved and so cute – how could you say that!”
And now I get it – turns out it is NOT normal for a 15 month old to go to a restaurant and sit in a highchair for 2 hours without fussing or wanting to get out.  It is NOT normal for a 15 months old to sit on my lap on an airplane for 6 hours and just color quietly, nap and smile.  Turns out it is NOT normal for a 15 month old to  sit in a shopping cart without a fuss at Target for an hour while I shop and enjoy my latte.  Turns out it is NOT normal to have  a child who NEVER arches their back and flings themselves to the floor in public.  Turns out it is NOT normal to have a 15 months old who would NEVER think to or bite, hit, kick or push another child or their own sibling.  Turns out it is NOT normal to have a toddler who would NEVER take a toy from another child or sibling.  Turns out it is NOT normal for a 15 month old to not run away from their mother laughing. Turns out most toddlers have tantrums – who knew?

Not saying that you do these things – Okay, I AM saying that you do ALL of those things. I love you all the same..but still..

Astrid, I never had to read any raising toddler books before, because I gave birth to polite little adults the first 2 rounds.  Now I need advice and more wine. And I am old, and tired. Give your mother a little break here.

Seriously.  Your sisters look at you and wonder what you are.  They question your behavior and I just shake my head and wonder what to do.  Eloise considers you “a problem” and Esther wonders when we can check you into “baby jail” because my goodness girlfriend.  Really?  THIS is what toddlers are suppose to be like?
All I can say is that we are lucky Eloise NEVER acted like this because you nor Esther would’ve EVER existed.

There are many a stronger women out there who have done THIS twice over or more. I bow down to their greatness and motherly gifts.

But we keep you around because you do cute things too – the way you make little beds for yourself, give your kitty cat kisses, carry your stuffed animals around and act like the world revolves around your big sisters.
You sing songs and play games and understand humor.  Sometimes devious humor, but still humor.  You laugh, you run, you give the biggest kisses and hugs, you look around in wonder and want to know everything.

This age of wonderment and learning and soaking up knowledge is not being lost on you.  You are hungry for more and we are glad to give you everything you need.  You are passionate – in everything you do. I know this will carry you far.

I love you baby girl, just let mommy enjoy a latte at Target once in awhile  mkay?