I make a lot of mistakes as a mother. While our oldest daughter will always officially be our guinea pig, our trials and errors do not belong exclusively to her and to talk about ‘from the couch’ one day. Her sisters will join her there.
I would not call myself a ‘mean’ mother, but I am a ‘firm’ mother. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t yelled. Because I have.
I’ve also apologized more times than I can count because I am not above mistakes and I’d prefer a relationship of mutual respect with my kids.I don’t want to be their boss. I am here to be their guide.
I forget things. I’ve forgotten my kids at school and activities. I forgot Astrid once as she slept in her car seat that I put down on the sidewalk while I loaded the car. But thankfully had just pulled away from the curb when I realized my grave mistake.
I’ve been taking an ‘in the car’ body count since that day.
I’ve forgotten field trips and important papers to be sent back to school. I’ve forgotten birthday parties and important parts of costumes or projects that I was suppose to buy for them.
I’ve fed them junk food and drive-thru and don’t buy organic fruit.
I’m inflexible and probably not as warm as they’d like sometimes.
I work from home, thus the line between “Is mommy working” vs “Is mommy not working” is blurred and most of the time I feel like I’m failing at both.
Mornings are hectic no matter how early we rise or how organized we seem and I’m always short with them as we hustle out the door. As the bus pulls away I always think that if this is the last time we see each other – what will they remember about me.
I hate playing games(except cards), don’t understand make-believe, I’m a horrible artist, don’t craft, don’t allow glitter, and I don’t love play-dates…here.
I’m the type of mom that gives her kids plenty of opportunities for independence and learning. You won’t find me trying to entertain them on the weekends. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m too detached.
I have faults too long to list – just like any human and mother.
And when I feel overwhelmed and that I’m doing it all wrong.
I need to remember one thing.
Kids are kids.
And their simple needs are love and security.
And if I search though the life of each day of chaos and busy and schedules and short tempers and toys everywhere – I see love and security everywhere for them.
I don’t need to play Monopoly or dollies to give them that.
And even if we’ve had a bad morning, I am still greeted each day with a picture from Astrid.
A picture of us(without clothes…with our belly buttons showing…ahem). But us. Together.
That’s what Astrid sees. That’s what she knows and loves. And she draws me a picture of us every day. I have 240 of these so far. And if you think I’m making a book. Well you are correct.
“Mommy, you’re my best friend and you’re the best mommy ever.”
And any mommy guilt I have disappears.
Join Amanda of Dude Mom and 11 others as we celebrate being Happy Mamas each month. Join us and let’s start a movement together.