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It’s been a little overwhelming since I published my post on being vulnerable last week. From being syndicated on BlogHer and now published on The Huffington Post - to texts, emails and Facebook messages from friends and family. Also, a little head shaking from Jed.
Messages of “Thank you for being so brave.” and “I read this too late.” to “You’ve saved my marriage.” and “You’ve made me believe in marriage again.”
And while I truly believe in the hard things that I wrote that day – coming to a big realization like that doesn’t just fix a marriage in a day with a revelation. It’s just the start. A fresh start.
But what it has done is given me the true belief that our marriage is important. Very important. And I believe that Jed and I are meant to be together. From the moment we met, and then fell in love, and decided to spend the rest of our lives together.
So much can get lost during the years after a wedding. From having kids to job changes and buying houses and moving and bills and changing priorities, hobbies and friends.
But the focus of why we decided to marry…should not change. And maybe it shouldn’t be easy. And we expect it to me. We somehow expect that love and marriage will be the same at year 12 as it was in year one when life was free and easy and we had sex on the dining room table with the blinds open.
But it takes work. Work we both must invest in. And I think my post was a giant wake-up call that I needed. At just the right time.
This week has been hard. Life has moved on again from the bliss of vacation and holidays – the kids are back to school, me back to work and Jed is feeling better. I’m busy with work and shuttling kids and cooking meals, cleaning and laundry and all of a sudden we take two steps backwards because I’m grumpy and naggy because the seven-long-month bathroom project is limping along(understandably) but one morning of four women in line to pee in our one bathroom throws me into a rage.
This is when I don’t fully understand men -because Jed wants to have sex with me even when I look like this…
…and the only way I will find him attractive this week is if he’d makes some progress on the damn bathroom. How is does that not make sense?
And I know we have a long way to go before everything makes sense to both of us. But in the meantime we are both commitment to working on it.
Because I still believe in marriage.
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.