Fashionable And Eco Friendly Clothing from Ecoths (Giveaway!)

Happy Father’s Day! I am giving away a shirt or pair of shorts(your choice of item) from Ecoths! Ecoths makes eco friendly mens clothing that is also stylish with a rugged outdoors influence. Check the bottom of this post for entry!

I still remember what Jed was wearing when we met. Is that weird? If it is – don’t tell that it’s weird to remember things like that. He was wearing these pants that I would call ‘work pants’ – they had lots of pockets, were made of a thick cotton type canvas, and had reinforced knees. I’m not naming the brand on this post – but you probably know the company that makes pants like this. He also had on an outdoorsy type of tee shirt and hiking boots. He also carried a large backpack that he expertly made fit in the overhead bin – and I was shocked yet somewhat impressed that it contained all of his belongings for a three week trip to Thailand.

 

I, on the other hand, was sporting a super ugly yet ridiculously expensive from Nordstrom ‘leisure’ type flying outfit for the for the 24 hour flight – and my luggage for my trip to Thailand – enough for a family of seven – was stowed below and probably took five strong men to lift it into the plane. They probably cursed my name several times.

 

Yes – we met on an airplane, each taking trips to Thailand after horrible break-ups. I wanted nothing to do with him because of his ugly pants and he didn’t want much to do with me because of my expensive travel ensemble.

 

But when he let me use his shoulder for sleeping and his backpack for a footrest -well I excused those ugly pants. 16 years later – we both excuse a lot of things.

 

But that’s not what this story is about.

 

What this story is about is that I donated my ugly outfit years ago and Jed still owns those damn pants.

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We are very different – and how we shop for clothing maybe tops the list of those differences. When Jed purchases something – he looks for quality and considers it possibly an investment for a lifetime of wearing. He wants it to be sporty yet functional, and attractive and classic yet durable, and for him also it needs to have an outdoor-wearable spin, and if possible be good for the environment.

 

And while I do shop for a few pieces here and there like Jed does – I am more of a sale, trend, disposable, not thinking about the future type shopper. And I wish I would take-on Jed’s more classic approach to clothing and invest in quality and sustainability more.

 

BUT ONLY $9.99 FOR A SHIRT! (That I end up tossing after one season and then having to buy 10 more of those that also become completely disposable). I feel like I need to attend a quality clothing self-help course.

 

What I’m saying is that Jed’s damn pants that he wore on May 7, 1998 have taught me to appreciate clothing as more than something just fashionable and disposable.

 

I hate when he’s right.

 

So that’s what I’m giving Jed for Father’s Day this year – I am telling him he’s right for all of you to see! And I also gave him a new outfit from a brand new eco-friendly company called ECOTHS. Because one does not live by ‘forever lasting work pants’ alone.

 

Jed is SUPER picky when it comes to clothing and he was not even that thrilled to try something new because 1. NEW and 2. Not his typical outdoor/performance clothing brand. This man has standards.

 

But old set-in-his-ways Jed was impressed by the fit, style, durability, and overall mission of Ecoths. Seriously, he could not stop talking about how much he loved the shorts and shirt and even gave me washing instructions(the man does NOT do laundry) on how I should handle these items for him as not to ruin his new favorite clothing. I guess he plans to wear them forever too.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if Jed gives Ecoths two thumbs up – there is not a better endorsement you will ever get for their clothing.

 

Ecoths is a brand new company that uses 100% natural and organic fabrics to produce their mens fashions. Their desire is to combine urban fashion elements with rugged outdoor influence to create one cohesive brand that unites style, community, and goodness. And besides working with natural fabrics with low-impact, Ecoths also gives 3 meals for each garment they sell. For Spring ’14 they donated nearly 16,000 meals throughout the US to local food banks!

Ecoths mission is simple – bring together the triple bottom line of People, Planet, and Product.

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(Jed is wearing the Humboldt Island Shorts and Ronan Polo Shirt)

 

And now I’d love for you to try Ecoths for yourself(or for a special guy in your life).

GIVEAWAY!

In honor of Father’s Day I am giving away either ONE SHIRT or ONE PAIR OF PANTS  from Ecoths to one lucky winner(winner has item/size choice).

Just use the Rafflecopter entry form below for your chance to win. Giveaway is open through 6/17.  Just hop over to Ecoths’ catalog and tell me what you love!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I am working with Ecoths to spread the word about their amazing company and work as part of my ambassador program with Aventura. I was given one outfit for Jed to try, but all words and opinions are my own.

 

 

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There’s Nothing Like A Wedding

He held my hand a little tighter on Saturday, and maybe found his hand rubbing my ..ahem..ass a little more than was appropriate to do in a church. Maybe he also stole a few kisses. Lightly. Quickly. I found myself looking down in reflection as I thought about marriage.

 

Weddings do strange things to people. Well maybe normal things. Needed things.  wedding-party

And after 16 years together and 12 years of marriage we know all too well that the wedding does not make a marriage. The next 50 years we don’t get to wear silk dresses from Paris(I loved my dress), or toast champagne with friends, and head to a hotel room knowing that we could just sleep naked all day without fear of the kids yelling out at 2am “Mom, I need some water!” “Dad I have to go potty!” “I’m scared of the dark!”

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Then and Now

Marriage is not very often a celebration of romance, but a daily grind of laundry, dinner and homework.

 

Which is why we need to go to more weddings. We are ‘at an age’ when weddings are scarce in our circles. We are old enough that either everyone is already married, or now getting married the second time alone on a beach somewhere. And our children(thank god) are too young to marry. I see in 10-15 years our invitations to weddings might trickle into our mailbox again as we become the older generation dancing to the YMCA at receptions in 2030 and having trouble making it to midnight.

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So it was nice to celebrate a wedding with family last weekend. I love weddings because everyone shares their love stories – their wedding stories – their being a couple before kids stories. Jed loves to tell people that we probably aren’t really married after a quick elopement without witnesses to Scotland and leaving with a certificate that doesn’t look quite legal. But it was the perfect wedding for us. Small, an adventure, away, simple, with an excuse to visit another country. Yet Jed still teased me during this weekend’s wedding mass that he talked to the Priest about making us legal that day. He said that to get under my skin knowing that for us a Priest doesn’t get that say. We do. And our three daughters do.

 

Jed and I are very different people, yet so much the same. We found that out again this weekend as we stuck together like glue in the busy and chaos of family and friends, and felt our sameness after 12 years so much more than our differences. The sameness that we found again a few months ago when we remembered what we were doing with our love affair and checked our egos at the door.

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Love is hard. And makes a wedding seem so simple.

 

I hope we have more weddings soon. More opportunities for Jed to steal kisses and rub me inappropriately in a pew. But I guess we don’t need a wedding to do that. We just need more simple reminders of love.

 

And fewer 2am wake-up calls.

 

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Why I Still Believe In Marriage

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! 

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It’s been a little overwhelming since I published my post on being vulnerable last week. From being syndicated on BlogHer and now published on The Huffington Post - to texts, emails and Facebook messages from friends and family. Also, a little head shaking from Jed.

 

Messages of “Thank you for being so brave.” and “I read this too late.” to “You’ve saved my marriage.” and “You’ve made me believe in marriage again.”

 

Gulp.

 

And while I truly believe in the hard things that I wrote that day – coming to a big realization like that doesn’t just fix a marriage in a day with a revelation. It’s just the start. A fresh start.

 

But what it has done is given me the true belief that our marriage is important. Very important. And I believe that Jed and I are meant to be together. From the moment we met, and then fell in love, and decided to spend the rest of our lives together.

 

So much can get lost during the years after a wedding. From having kids to job changes and buying houses and moving and bills and changing priorities, hobbies and friends.

 

But the focus of why we decided to marry…should not change. And maybe it shouldn’t be easy. And we expect it to me. We somehow expect that love and marriage will be the same at year 12 as it was in year one when life was free and easy and we had sex on the dining room table with the blinds open.

 

But it takes work. Work we both must invest in. And I think my post was a giant wake-up call that I needed. At just the right time.

 

This week has been hard. Life has moved on again from the bliss of vacation and holidays – the kids are back to school, me back to work and Jed is feeling better. I’m busy with work and shuttling kids and cooking meals, cleaning and laundry and all of a sudden we take two steps backwards because I’m grumpy and naggy because the seven-long-month bathroom project is limping along(understandably) but one morning of four women in line to pee in our one bathroom throws me into a rage.

 

This is when I don’t fully understand men -because Jed wants to have sex with me even when I look like this…

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…and the only way I will find him attractive this week is if he’d makes some progress on the damn bathroom. How is does that not make sense?

 

And I know we have a long way to go before everything makes sense to both of us. But in the meantime we are both commitment to working on it.

 

Because I still believe in marriage.

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.

 

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On Being Vulnerable

Jed has texted, called, emailed and smoke-signaled hundreds of middle-aged men over the past week with this simple message…

“If you want to get lucky in the bedroom, have heart surgery. Trust me on this one.”

 

Which is why every middle-aged man in Minnesota has been giving me this strange, knowing look all week. They point to me in the grocery store, whisper about me at the coffee shop, and give me a sly wave as I drive by in my minivan.

 

I am now an urban legend.

 

But truth be told – good sex has nothing to do with heart surgery or hospitals. It has more to do with remembering why we fell in love in the first place, and admitting to needing to be loved even after 16 years, three kids, and hundreds of cat puke piles cleaned off of the carpets.

 

But most importantly – being able to finally let go of our egos and be vulnerable again.

Vulnerable – leaving yourself open to emotional hurt.

 

Because I think that’s what is missing in our home. And frankly it’s exhausting when you cannot admit that you really need someone or something to get by with the big, but also the small tasks each day.

 

I mark my days as a mother in a kind of “I can do it myself so just get the fuck out of my way” attitude. From bringing home bacon to frying it up in a pan, to managing loads of laundry, mountains of bills, and an extracurricular schedule for three kids that would make a wedding planner in NYC cringe.  And in my own way I do okay with this. Maybe I truly don’t need help, but maybe just maybe Jed needs to be needed just a little bit more. Whether it’s letting him pick up groceries sometimes or putting Astrid to bed or not getting mad when he folds the towels wrong.

 

It’s okay for me to accept help and be vulnerable for him.

*****

love-and-marriage

I dropped Jed off at the hospital the day of his surgery. He told me he didn’t need me there and not to worry about trying to juggle the kids and burden friends or family just for him. But he looked very alone when I dropped him. So I took the kids to my aunt’s house and returned to the hospital. I gave the receptionist Jed’s information and that I was his ‘wife’ and was now there for him if there was news.

 

She acted like she expected me. This is what people do it turns out – married people – people in love – they are there for one another. The alternate plan that we had made – the one where I left him at the hospital alone was strange and uncomfortable like a coat two sizes too small bought at the thrift store that tugged awkwardly at my arms and didn’t quite zip.

 

This is not how a marriage is suppose to feel.

 

But as I sat in the waiting room -the room with other wives and husbands and children and loves – I felt a peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

 

The feeling of what it’s really like to love your spouse.

 

A few minutes later a nurse came out looking for “Mrs. Duncan” and asked if I wanted to see Jed before he went in. My strong sense of self and independence didn’t even rear its ugly head to correct the nurse’s error of ‘my’ name.  I was letting go.

 

When I saw Jed he was drugged, hooked up to numerous things, tubes and medication, and alone. And he reached for my hand and cried.

 

Vulnerable.

 

And that’s when I wanted to jump him right then in there in the surgery prep room. Not because he was weak(his words) or because this might be good-bye. But because we need each other more than we want to admit. And it shouldn’t take this to bring us to this new now. But it did. And it’s strange being grateful for a medical emergency to fix a marriage.

 

Maybe that’s why we focus on motherhood so much and forget about the work it takes to be married.  Kids need EVERYTHING – from food to shelter to boo-boo kissing to doll dressing to homework help. If my tween won’t let me kiss her anymore I can still whip up a bowl of popcorn with extra butter and she knows that I love her.

 

We are born vulnerable.

 

So when does it become a weakness to admit needing something.

 

I even find I stray from vulnerability when I write. I want to write the happy things, the clean things, the neat things, the easy things, the things that don’t ask for advice.

 

But when I’ve opened up about the hard things, the hard to admit things, and the messy-not-so-perfect things, I feel the weight lifted off of my chest. This weight that you all take from me piece by piece as loved ones do as you work in combination to carry a burden and protect me as I can finally be vulnerable and breathe again.

How long have I been holding my breath.

*****

I met Jed in the recovery room. I sat gently on his bed, kissed his forehead and put my head near his as I stroked his hair for a very long time. He slept on and off and I was just there. I didn’t think of him as weak in those moment – actually the exact opposite – that he was strong enough to want me to be there.

 

Being vulnerable is sexy.

 

A few days later I told Jed something that I needed. I haven’t asked Jed for anything in years, but for the first time in a long time I felt a level of trust, love, connection and mutual vulnerability that it felt freeing to truly ask him for something that was important to me.

 

“Jed, I need you to accept my past. To acknowledge and love me not only for now and the future with our family, but for what brought me to today.” I said quietly. “You fell in love with not just me, but what I’ve done – the good and bad, my life experiences, and the 29 years I had before life led me to you.”

 

Sometimes Jed likes to pretend he married a quiet, trust-funded, virginal, blond, Catholic girl from New England.

 

But Jed instead fell in love with an opinionated, middle-class, divorced and experienced, Atheist woman from the Midwest.

 

Now 16 years later he needs to finally be okay with that. And be vulnerable enough to know that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of my past – especially him.

 

Because if I cannot start talking about my whole life, then I will continue to live a closed-life that is lonely, full of walls and stifling to not just my creativity and ability to love, but to our relationship and future.

 

So I asked Jed to be vulnerable with me. To admit to mistakes and failures and to look for help and more hugs and to live true and messy lives together.

We are checking our egos at the door this year. We have to if we expect this marriage to last a lifetime.

 

And we’ve found each other again. Those two people who met on an airplane to Bangkok 16 years ago. And remembered the honest and open conversations we had for those 20 hours – about divorce and loves and heartbreaks and dreams.

 

And good sex is truly such a bonus. I just need to wear dark glasses now when I go to the grocery store.

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Love and Marriage

Jed is asleep on the couch. He’s been resting for about three hours. During that time I’ve taken down the tree and thrown it across the front yard. The girls have put away their Christmas presents and played Just Dance 2014 so many times that they’ve learned the words to Blurred Lines – which is interesting to listen to and now we all just want to get nasty. I’ve also done four loads of laundry and cleaned the bathroom. I need Jed to wake-up though so I can vacuum as I’m trying to be more considerate.

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Jed came home from the hospital acting like he was just fine and could move on with his weekend just like a normal weekend. But I’m glad the couch caught him when he needed it and he’s taking the time he needs to heal. Hospitals and surgeries do strange things to people.

 

I found that the hospital made me kiss him just a little longer when I picked him up yesterday. As we were kissing. For evidently too long. I could all of a sudden feel Astrid hug me from behind and then whisper to us both “Are you guys playing the quiet game?”

 

Yes, that’s exactly what we were doing. It’s always nice to get a new code word for something. And Jed is already asking me several times per day if I’d like to play the quiet game with him.

 

Jed is uncomfortable when I talk about him on my blog or on Facebook. But then sometimes he gets angry at me because he seems to be missing from our life if I go too long without a mention of him. THIS IS VERY CONFUSING.

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Life is complicated like that when it comes to marriage. Sometimes we only want to show and see the strong and easy days, the long kisses also known as the quiet game, and that our laundry is almost always certainly clean.

 

But love and life doesn’t work like that. Instead it’s messy, sometimes complicated and frankly sometimes I’m just really not in the mood to be a good wife.

 

We’ve been together nearly 16 years and daily we learn for one another. For Jed from me – “Hey Hon – if you ask me what I want for Christmas and I tell you what I want and even give you the catalog circled with the exact thing – THAT IS REALLY WHAT I WANT!”  “Also my love, if you have to start a sentence with ‘I don’t mean to sound sexist’ – it means that YOU WILL SOUND SEXIST!”

 

And for me – I will give you credit for trying more often, that deodorant is evidently sometimes optional, that a nap after reading the paper on Sunday is not a bad thing, and that you work very hard for our family. And maybe in the future I’ll respect your privacy a little more when I post on Facebook.  Also, I’ll try to appreciate a little Dave Matthews music(OMG NO!).

 

I’ll tell you all of this when you wake-up in a little while. But for now I just wanted to document it here so I don’t forget.

 

Now just don’t get mad at me for publishing a post about you.

 

Because you are sexy – especially when you look like Harry Styles father. Especially then. When you look like this I want to play the quiet game with you all.day.long.

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It’s okay – I’ll wait while you Google who Harry Styles is.

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Fate

It’s feeling strange yet comforting to write tonight. I’m doing this in list form because it will be easier to put my thoughts on paper that way.

 

1. We still don’t have a tree. Or stockings up. Or presents bought. Or a plan for Christmas. Or clean socks. We’re out of milk too. That’s totally my fault though.

 

2. My blog is broken. It’s all squishy or something. The type is so small that I cannot read it. It’s given me the sadz. Someone said it’s a php issue. OMG I have no idea what that means. So get your reading glasses out to read my blog until forever because I don’t know how to fix it. Ever. PHP sounds like an issue with yeast or something – maybe caused by 14 straight days in a bikini in Costa Rica.

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3. I cleaned out the basement this week. Our basement is empty. Like let’s have a dance party empty. I found Truffle cat just sitting in the middle of the floor looking very confused because all the stuff was gone. It was freeing to just get rid of stuff. I love our empty basement. Now the goal is to not put anything ever again in the empty basement. I cleaned out the basement because we are probably putting our house on the market because….

 

3. We made an offer on a house this week! YAY – we were so excited about it. More space. Less taxes. Great schools. FOUR bathrooms. Not really totally the suburbs. It was quite perfect. But they rejected our offer. So foolish. It was a great offer. Oh well. I’m trying not to be sad about it. I know there will be another house in the area we are looking. I’m also having pains about totally leaving the city…but…but. I don’t know – it’s such a balance between being a sell-out and wanting a good neighborhood elementary school.

 

4. I’m not a big believer in the god stuff but I do believe things happen for a reason. And I believe we didn’t get the house because Jed is now, currently in the hospital with something potentially wrong with his heart. This is how our texts/calls go when Jed needs to go to the hospital...and we live in American and are self-employed and have private, high-deductible insurance..yet still have a sense of humor.

 

Jed: Um I’m at my doctors appointment for my physical and they are making me go to the ER because my heart rate is extremely high. So high they are worried I’m having a stroke or something.

Me: Yeah, all the veggies, no mayo or oil, wheat bread…oh sorry Jed, not you, I’m at Subway getting a quick dinner for the kids before dance. So what do you need?
Jed: They said I can’t drive myself but no way am I paying for an ambulance. Maybe I’ll call a cab or someone.

Me: I agree. We don’t have the budget for an ambulance. I think you should chance it.

Jed: Yeah, I’ll just drive there because I don’t want to pay for a cab either. You know a hospital stay is going to be crazy expensive and we don’t have it right now. It’s going to float us right up to our high-deductible. Maybe I should just come home and take my chances.

Me: No, you need to go. Maybe I’ll skip the chips at Subway then…. Hey, if you go to the hospital and get this fixed then maybe I can squeeze in my ablation by year end! I think we should all get medical procedures for Christmas since we’ll hit our crazy-high deductible. This is a much better idea than American Girl dolls. See, this is why we haven’t decorate for Christmas yet – we’ll be spending it at the hospital.

Jed: Well I will text you when I get to the hospital.

Me: Do you want anything from Subway? Kidding. Oh, and are you okay?

 

So all kidding aside – Jed’s in the hospital and has officially been admitted for heart trouble that is concerning. We will know more in the morning if he’s having surgery tomorrow or what’s going on. Would appreciate some positive thoughts for Jed, for meeting our insurance deductible, and for the fact that the plumber is coming tomorrow to work on our broken bathroom and we might be without water indefinitely. Also, we need milk.

 

xo

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Um Yeah – THE Anthropologie Bicycle Dress – A Fashionable Father’s Day Post

Our gift to Jed on Father’s Day was that we would do anything he wanted to do ALL.DAY.LONG.

(there is lemonade in their cups…not beer)

When you’re a dad of all girly girls you sometimes find yourself getting a pink pedicure, shuttling gossipy girls to dance classes, and spending a ridiculous amount of time braiding hair.

(all photos of me were taken by Eloise)

So Jed spends a lot of time alone in the garage with oil and parts and metal and lifts and tools and stuff.  Garage stuff. There may also be a small fridge with beer out there.

 

Anyway, after a required visit to Dunn Brothers for his morning coffee(Jed’s been there 4000 mornings in a row!) he said he wanted to go to a bike rally.

 

So I dressed for the bike rally wearing my Anthropologie Bicycle dress from this season…because DUH, and then made the girls coordinate in blue and white and we were ready to go look at bikes.

Jed did not get the wardrobe memo nor realize that “proper dressing and coordinating” was required for a bike rally. It’s like he doesn’t know me.

Anyway, it wasn’t a ‘bike rally’ – it was a ‘bike rally!’

It’s like I don’t even know my motorcycle man.

 

I won best dressed.

Astrid begged Jed to buy her a purple motorcycle. I have this feeling a purple bike will show up in our garage this Summer. Jed likes bikes like I like dresses.  Guess which costs more?

Did you know I used to have a purple motorcycle? I called it the ‘Purple Nurple‘ because I wasn’t a mother yet. Maybe someday I’ll post some motorcycling pictures of myself. Or not.

Anyway, then we went to a classy little neighborhood bar called  The Nook for dinner(the best burger in town or so I’ve heard since I don’t eat meat) because kids eat free on Sundays and they all kind of yell “Jeeedd” when we walk in. (Also if you ever want to meet us – come to The Nook at 4:30pm any Sunday – trust me..we are there).

And because Jed just had his 15 minutes of fame as he talked about the importance of motorcycle safety on our local ABC news affiliate - I thought I would share the video here. Jed’s the tall guy with the beard who is talking Rusty through getting started on his bike. See, he totally exists – as I know I’ve gotten questions before about my mystery husband.

Mainly I don’t blog about him because he refuses to dress like us.

 

Anyway, I’m linking up to What I Wore Wednesday with The Pleated Poppy because isn’t this a fashion post?

Bicycle dress – sold-out from Anthropologie

-wedges from JCrew – also sold-out

-my new cruiser bicycle is a Felt Cafe from Boehm Cycle in St. Paul. Don’t you love the color?

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Think of it as a Gift..

I received a call from my husband tonight while I was at work…”hey is this Joint Juice on the counter for me?” he asked.

 

“Joint Juice – what is Joint Juice?” I pondered

 

“This orange box with a new water bottle – this looks great, you know my joints really hurt now with biking and age and all…thank you!”

 

“You are so welcome – I totally thought of you when I bought it – I hope it works wonders!” I lied remembering the box of Joint Juice that arrived today.

“You didn’t buy this did you? Did somebody send this to you to try for that blogging thingy you do?”

 

Oh gosh no – I didn’t receive it for the blogging thingy – I received it because I have KLOUT!”

 

“Klout?”

 

Klout!!

 

“Klout with whom about joints?”

 

“Twitter loves when I talk about joints and single seniors. Pretty sure I’m getting some Viagra next.”

 

“So if I drink the Joint Juice it doesn’t count as an actual gift since it was free right, and I still get a birthday present next month?”

 

It only counts as a gift if I throw in the free Secret Deodorant I also received for my Klout on body odor.”

 

Next month I’m talking about periods. I’m almost out of tampons.  Although I also talk about shoes a lot and not once this month did the Shoe/Klout fairy arrive.

******

Disclosure: I was not paid by, asked to or bribed in anyway to write about Joints or Klout. Also my joints are just fine. I’ve never talked about joints in my life. Wrinkles maybe. But never joints. Especially never on twitter. I do talk about clothing and shoes a lot though – a lot of good that does for me though. No shoes here.  Also, this will be my husband’s birthday gift. Shhhh..don’t tell him.

 

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Is it hard to be a girl dad…

Jed is the lone man among four women in our household.

I really hate talking stereotypes, but somehow these girls are very stereotypical girly girls.

When Eloise was three we signed her up for soccer – you know to expose her to sports.   She cried the whole time and expressed her issue with the sport and why she always seemed to run the opposite direction of the ball “why would I ever want the ball, because if I had the ball everyone would chase me. Why would I want to get chased.” Well okie dokie then.

So we didn’t give up exposing our girls to sports and tried baseball. Both girls spent a fair amount of time crying about it at the games and after a very painful season so eloquanty said “but it’s so boring. You just sit there or stand there most of the time. And why would I want someone to hit the ball at me? And again, if I hit the ball everyone chases me. I seriously do not get the point.” Can I get an A to the Men that I don’t have to sit through baseball games.

Now I also know that watching a dance recital can be as painful as watching a baseball game. Don’t get me wrong as girl things have their limits.

And Jed tries to get them to do thing that he likes – offering a dirt bike, some motorcycling, a car show, downhill skiing, a hike in the woods. His requests are usually met with “it’s too cold outside, it’s too hot outside, that sounds boring, I could fall or I have a hangnail.”

Did I mention that our kids are rarely outside as THERE ARE BUGS outside. I know.

So the girls spend their time mainly inside reading, writing in journals, making up plays, doing make-overs, painting nails, doing artwork, making jewelry, baking,  They hear the neighbor kids running around and playing outside and never even seem that interested to go out and play WITH THE BUGS.

And Jed hangs out in the garage alone.

And I wonder if one of the girls will join him there someday.

You know, after their nails dry.

Entering in the I heart faces let’s hear it for the boys week.

*****
What would you buy daddy for father’s day?

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I Heart Faces – People’s Choice..

I didn’t win for my yellow last week. The entries were truly amazing.  I feel so inspired when I look at the winning entries. Beauty. Talent. Wow.

This week we post our favorite picture from May.

Catching a quick kiss between Astrid and her daddy was a winning moment for sure.


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April 20th or 21st or is it the 22nd?

Our wedding anniversary is today, or tomorrow or maybe Friday?  Jed brought me a gift yesterday just in case in was the 19th. We forgot to write it down so we always forget.every.year.   Just think when we are 60 we will just say “April – just sometime in April..but maybe May..was it May?”

We didn’t set a date when we got married. We just flew to Scotland with a dress and a suit sometime in April of 2002 and got married one of those days we were there. The 20th? No? No idea. Truly.

It doesn’t really matter as my silk dress from Paris was KILLER. That is always the most important thing. Always.  I will always be thankful I was not in full princess attire.

*******

Last week Jed said to me “let’s just sell everything and travel the world on our motorcycles. Get 2 sidecars and just go. Now that is something to blog about.”

Last month Jed said to me “let’s just sell everything and get a cottage on the coast of Nicaragua and the girls can learn to windsurf. Learn Spanish.”

Last year Jed said to me “let’s just sell everything and move to Alaska. Find a small town and a simple life.”

Sometimes I get angry when I hear these things. They aren’t my life anymore. We have a house and a mortgage and property taxes and health care bills and school and the PTA.

Jed and I fell in love though for all of those things.  We fell in love with the premise of no kids, traveling the world, and living light and free.

So we struggle at times with the American Dream. Neither of us saw this coming. Ever.

And while I wouldn’t change anything for the world and my kids are my life.  Sometimes I wake up at 3am and also consider packing the girls into their sidecars and riding around the world for a few years and really living again.

Jenny Matlock

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Just for Men…

“Hey Trace, do you think I could use your hair color on my beard?”

What hair color – this is my natural color!!

“Yeah, okay – the non-hair color that I see you apply every month when evidently you are having an out of body experience?”

Oh, that hair color..No, it is a one time application and then you have to throw it away because of all the bad chemicals in it that I pollute my body with.  What do you need it for?

“Well my beard came in really gray..”

What beard – when did you grow a beard?? (I turn and look up at my husband..) Holy shit, when did that appear on your face?

“Like 6 weeks ago…”

Wow – holy gray batman.  Yeah, I don’t think my hair color would work, you need that beard stuff that you comb in like everyday since whiskers grow so fast..you know, “Just for Men” (snicker snicker..)

“Do you think the gray looks bad?”

No, it looks fine.  You know the baristas at the coffee shop realize you are not 25..

“Do you think that stuff really works?”

I have no idea and have no intention on growing a beard for another 10 years until I am deep into menopause.  Then, I plan on waxing..not keeping it brown.

“But do you think I should color it?”

Well since I didn’t even know you had grown a beard, I am going to go with “no” I do not think I will notice…and I also know you are not 25.

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Changes around here…

I have a handy husband.  He can do just about anything around house.  In his own time.

We have been planning the front steps redo for 5 years.

They were old, cement, awkward for opening the door, dangerous for kids, and well – just plain ugly.

But like most projects – this sits on the list. The very long list that comes with a house that is over 100 years old.

So imagine my surprise when I came home last Wednesday from the grocery store to find Jed had demolished our steps. hmmmm…did he know I was having 50 women over the next day and now I had to make a path for them to our backdoor?  Everyone is now a backdoor friend.  How inviting.

Timing is everything.

But I could not complain – as new steps were coming.  New cedar steps – wide, a landing, a thing of beauty..and safe too.

Change is good.
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But now I am very concerned as my husband has been wearing a skirt for the whole project. And I have no idea what he may be wearing underneath and do not care to ask.  And when you are 6’4″, people may notice.  He claims to be 25% Scottish, so is granted the A-OK for official kilt wearing.  I need to check into that.
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But I try to ignore his new fashion choice as I am getting some new gorgeous front steps you know.

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Motorcycle Maintenance…

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I read Zen and the Art of  Motorcycle Maintenance well before I became a motorcyclist.  Granted, the book isn’t really all about motorcycling – but it gave me a bug that I did not have before.
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And perhaps being a motorcyclist doesn’t even fit on my dance card anymore.  Another one of those things that has fallen to the wayside with motherhood.
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But I can still live and breath if I so choose.  So when my garage looks likes this on any given day  – it gives me peace and calm and a very big smile. 
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Even if I don’t ride – right now – someday I will again.
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And perhaps I can join the guys again for some motorcycle maintenance.

xoxo,t

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Go Bobcats!

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(please excuse the dirty laundry on the floor – remember, we have no dryer)

So I came downstairs in my Montana State Bobcat shorts yesterday – you know with the word “BOB CATS” written across my arse and Jed was all like “snort, haven’t you had those since college?” and I was all like “yeah, and they still fit me awesome – even better than 20 years ago!” and Jed was all “yeah, but do you think they are appropriate now?” and I was all like “well, if you were 41 and married, and a woman who gave birth to 3 children and the word “BOB CATS” still looked awesome across your arse, you would TOTALLY WEAR THEM EVERY DAY!” and Jed said “touche” and I said “So, I totally deserve an awesome anniversary gift now right?”

Happy Anniversary, Jed. I figured if I get this out there early enough today we wouldn’t have a threepeat.

xoxo,t

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