I Hold These Truths Only Until They Aren’t True Anymore..

I received a comment from someone a few weeks ago telling me how ‘lucky’ I am.  Lucky that my kids are healthy and happy. Lucky my kids are so good. Lucky to have a home with food on the table. Lucky to be in a marriage. Lucky to have employment. Lucky to be smoking hot for my age(okay, they didn’t say that), lucky to have my parents, lucky to have good friends, lucky to be alive.

 

I wasn’t sure quite what to say and I realized that they really only know me through my blog, and I wondered how many rainbows that I’ve been blowing up people’s butts for four years.

 

And then I thought. Awesome. I truly need to buy a lottery ticket because I am so lucky.

 

This brought me back to a conversation with one of my dearest friends.  I told her that I wanted to have a happy place(my blog) for my children to visit someday.  Now, I don’t want them to think that things were perfect – but they shouldn’t think that anyway – because hello, they live here and experience what Sellabit Mum land(how do I incorporate this place as a real city anyway?) is like in real life…which sometimes is sure not pretty, but I want them to be able to go back to my blog someday and know maybe really how lucky we all were even when we all know that life is typically less than perfect.  I want them to see sunshine and rainbows and by golly unicorns if they are smoking enough at the time. I’m not one to judge.

 

Not to say that I don’t put some heavy stuff out there – because I do.  But I don’t want the heavy stuff to define their childhood which is what I’m trying to capture here.

 

For me, this works and it’s comfortable. Maybe someday when my kids aren’t so little and easy to blog about, I will talk about some not so lucky topics. Maybe I’ll just talk about fashion and bore the crap out of most of you. OMG another cute dress! See.

 

Anyway, with this knowledge and my need to cast some clouds on your rainbows – I will now dispel a few posts about my children this week.

 

1. On Monday Astrid hugged me and proclaimed that I was her best friend forever. I blogged about that. I did not blog about Tuesday when she wiped off every kiss that I gave her, threw my pen at the cat, told me she never wanted to sit on my lap evah evah evah again, told me that I was stinky, and then told me her new shoes were ugly and threw them in the garbage.

So cloud over your rainbow – my toddler sometimes hates me too!

2. On Sunday night I wrote this letter to Eloise telling her how incredible she is. Responsible. Kind, Generous. Etc.  On Wednesday morning we had a HUGE fight about her hair. Seriously, her hair. Too curly. Too straight. Too poofy. Too flat. Too high of a pony. Too low of a pony. Too many knots. Help me. Don’t help me.  And you can’t say “IT’S JUST HAIR!” because we all know it is oh so much more than just hair. Right?

So cloud over your rainbow – my tween and I fight..a lot. Sometimes I laugh about it which I know is really wrong.

Anyway, Jed gets all crazy when Eloise and I fight because he doesn’t get IT at all. And I just say “Oh this is not a fight..just wait..the fights are going to be awesomely huge so soon” And then I give a little evil laugh and call my mother to commiserate because I was a HORRIBLE preteen.

So cloud over your rainbow – Jed and I disagree on most parenting stances. Also I told my mother that I hated her many times.

But the great thing about motherhood is knowing when your kids will use shit you did to them against you later in life. I have already started a legal pad and have eight pages filled with possible Joan Crawford type things I’ve done to my kids that I know, oh I know they will throw back into my face.

So cloud over your rainbow – I keep evidence of my wrongdoings and oh there are so many.

However, it turns out that when your mother does something really, really, really mean to you – when you become a parent you can show your own children what Grammy did during one of our fights and say “You are so lucky that I didn’t just cut all your damn hair off!”

 

See how cute I was in second grade.

Yeah. Well I used to cry and whine about getting my Marcia Brady hair styled every morning…and see where that got me.

Yeah, the Donny Osmond look.

 

And then Eloise gets that deer in the headlight look on her face, so  I go ahead and show her the before and after look of what a really mean mom would do just to make sure the message has been delivered…

And she kisses me on the cheek and tells me she LOVES the ponytail I put in this morning and skips her sassy butt right off to the bus stop.

 

So cloud over your rainbow – I threaten my children about cutting their hair off. Damn I miss good parenting from 1975.

So thank you mom. I may have been angry when you cut off all of my hair – but now as I mother..I get it. I totally get it and I’m sorry about all of the bitching I did back then when you were just trying to get a brush through my hair.

And I thank you for giving me this story that I can now use against my own daughters.  It now just seems so damn brilliant and and such a special family memory for the archives.

Rainbow is back out – I never sought-out counseling for the haircut because in the end…it was just hair.

******

So spill it – share a story of when your mom did something mean to you..or threats you’ve made to your kids. I need a day without unicorns. They poop too much anyway.

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