I had to LOL last week because my old high school boyfriend had looked at my profile on LinkedIn. He was a jerk to me in high school. Worse than that – I let him be a jerk. I hadn’t thought about him in years and years, and then there he was in his bald, 50 year old glory showing up on my notifications. So bald.
I remember the first time we met. I was at tennis practice after school and these two guys came over to the fence and yelled “Hey, are you Tracy Morrison? The Tracy Morrison that just made cheerleader?” Stupid me felt flattered that these soon to be senior guys were talking to this soon to be sophomore girl. They weren’t into me, they were just trolling the new cheerleaders moving up to high school the next year. But I fell hard. And continued to fall hard over the next two years for this stupid boy. He dumped me and scraped me back up to date again so many times I lost count. But I let him again and again and again. He made me feel less than worthy, and I let him. Maybe that’s why I still have a hard time being vulnerable, because if I let someone know how much I care they will just show up with another girl on their arm again and again and again.
I don’t quite remember how we finally ended the madness, the pain, the game. He left for college and found other women to troll? I found a nice guy. But I’m glad he stopped playing me.
But there he was again last week – staring at me some 32 years later. And I felt nothing but freedom from his grip so many years ago, as I really did laugh out loud because damn I have aged so much better than him.