I had to reset my blog password yesterday as I couldn’t remember what it was after not logging on for a month. It’s weird how something so part of my heart and soul for nearly eight years could feel like almost nothing overnight. Well, maybe not overnight…but over the course of a few months.
Also, I’m sitting in the basement of our dance studio – where I now find myself four days per week, and the girls are done dancing in 15 minutes – so this needs to be rushed as usual. Which is another reason maybe I’m not blogging.
Blogging has evolved over the past many years. The race to be published in all the popular places, the race to prove that you are a great writer and worthy, the race to have something controversial enough to write and share so that you get your fame after just writing for so long. Meh. I miss blogs. I miss seeing your kids in cute costumes without worrying if the words that go along with the pictures are worthy of a bigger audience than ten. I miss being humble and human.
But oddly enough, I don’t miss blogging.
And my friends and strangers that I wanted to see and follow – well I still see and read them. I see their cute kids on Instagram and Facebook(does anyone visit Twitter anymore?). But mostly I see my own kids and their friends. I find that as they are getting older, they need me more. Sure, it’s not to make a snack or clean up a mess – but it is to be more present, to drive carpool, to sit next to them for their first R rated movies, or to snuggle up in bed at night and talk about the day- talk about complicated things and emotional things and funny things. And as they are now on social media and such – well I want to make sure they see me put my computer and phone down more. Lately I’ve been using my phone more to Google homework help than to check for likes on an Instagram photo. I’ve been focusing on what I can do(and they can do) more altruistically – and I love the writers that do this well.
I’m trying to blog everyday this November. Not because I really want to blog anymore, but because I want to write again. I want to exercise that muscle with words that have been sitting inside my head for many months. Writing is still a sweet release that unburdens my heart and gives me peace. I’ve been missing that. But I guess not missing it enough that I’ve taken the time to say hi here lately.
I’m trying to figure out a way to blog for a good reason. To blog for others. To blog when it makes sense and does something good. But not for me.
Here’s to a beautiful November. May your leaves be gorgeous, your skies blue, your families healthy, and your dreams brilliant.