I took a pair of jeans back to American Eagle last week. I decided to try a light gray wash in the hi-rise jeggings, but the color just wasn’t right for me. I’ve never taken a return to AEO before. In fact, I’ve never stepped foot in an AEO before. I’ve always ordered online in the comfort of my old lady home. And while I’m happy to say that their clothes fit me well, I’m not happy to report that perhaps…perhaps I’m not really the demographic they are marketing to.
Because do you know what I bought in exchange for my jeans? An outfit for my middle school daughter.
An outfit for my middle school daughter.
Like as in my daughter started middle school last week and can now shop at clothing stores that sell women’s clothing. Like they fit her and everything.
And now everything has changed. And will continue to change and I cannot stop it. How can my baby that weighed less than five pounds be five foot three at 11 and in middle school. How can she borrow my new jacket that I just bought for ME, and wear my UGGs, and start digging through my earrings for something to match her new outfit. All of a sudden I realize why moms start shopping at Chico’s and J.Jill – it’s so their tween daughters will not want to borrow their clothing.
So do I turn in all of the jeggings for mom-jeans? Do my cardigans become sensible? My dresses less revealing? My earrings boring? Just because she’s growing up doesn’t mean that I have to, right?
As someone who has worked hard to be the hip-mom(but not too hip because awkward), my world is changing faster than I can possibly keep up as my kids keeping growing up seemingly behind my back because there’s just no way they can be this old.
This summer brought a huge change in her friends. Back to school night revealed hundreds of 11 and 12 year olds who grew height and boobs during the incredibly short 82 days since we last met. Changes in hair and face shape, changes in walk and talk. Mainly in girls mind you, as the boys still seem small and cute and silly, and now it all makes sense why we start dating older men.
The mothers huddle together and whisper about periods starting as we recount our preteen years and wish they too will be 14 before they have to worry. And yet we know they are whispering to each other too – their secrets and news and changes.
I love middle school. While so many wish away these in-between years, I say “bring them on hard” because these are the years that really matter. The years of finding more independence, making more decisions, of learning good study habits, finding out who you are and what you really like, focusing on an activity – or two, making those friends that might just be with you forever, because if they can weather 13 with you – well they will weather 43 even better than you can imagine.
These are the years you can still easily find comfort and advice at home and your parents are still relatively smart and your younger siblings not so embarrasing. These are the years that you still need a ride everywhere and yet you gain the indepence to ride your bike where you need to go by yourself. And these are the years you learn even more responsibility – about home, school, friends, social media, money, and time – and as you learn these lessons your landing is still soft in my arms and home.
And these are the years that you surpass your parents in height, in math, and in pop culture knowledge, and pretty soon you have more secrets of your own that you share with friends more than you share with me.
And that’s just fine – and the way it’s suppose to be. Just don’t borrow my boots and leggings without my permission, and I promise I won’t shop where you shop anymore, or bug you all the time or crash your slumber party with my own period stories. Because I HAVE MANY STORIES.
And remember just one more thing – I am here. Always I am here for you. I’ll be sitting here sipping tea in my cardigan and mom jeans.
And know that you are never alone in this big, big world. Focus on what you can – keep it small and comfortable. And if you just love yourself(because you are awesome), be kind to all, and just be yourself, well everything will be just fine.
Because you are so ready. So ready to fly.