You’re So Vain

“Mommy, don’t close the door on me when I’m peeing because you won’t be able to see me pee.”


Hon, I don’t need to watch you pee. I’ll just be in the hall folding laundry. I’m right outside the door.


“But, Mom, if you close the door you won’t see my beautiful face, and I have the most beautiful face in the world. Even when I’m peeing my face is beautiful. Won’t you miss my face?”


So I watched her beautiful face while she peed.


Motherhood is so weird sometimes.

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at

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    • says

      I think I need to say “I’m so beautiful…I’m so beautiful” each and every time I pee now. Which at my age, is a lot! xo

  1. says

    And did she give you a relieved face? Z does a whole aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh that is apparently upsetting if Mommy misses it. You know, because he can’t just recreate that sensation and look I’ve missed the whole stream now.

  2. says

    For a minute there I thought I was writing this post. About my husband.

    Wait a minute.

    She is a doll, all the way through. xo
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