She’s been exceptionally quiet lately. And she hates when you ask her what’s wrong.
Because nothing is apparently wrong. She’s just quiet. Reserved. Introspective. Thinking.
She is much like me(and her father at times), and can really go days without really talking much or seeking out the company of others.
And introvert maybe. Indeed.
Yet she is the best friend you will ever have. Loyal to the death, giving, loving, listening and being there.
As she also is with her sisters. She gives them time that we don’t expect of her or anyone really, as well as her patience and gift of looking outside of herself always for the needs of others.
My biggest worry for Eloise is that she won’t even someday(or now) take the time for herself completely selfishly nor ask for what she really wants.
Making Christmas lists are a chore for her and for many birthday parties she asks for donations for a cause rather than gifts.
And she’s been unable to tell us what she really wants for her birthday this year. And I know this is part of the ‘really quiet’ week she has had. As I think she knows what she wants but it feels wrong, selfish, and silly to ask for something for herself. I know she wants a laptop so she doesn’t have to borrow mine daily anymore. She now needs to type and do research for school and I’ve let her set-up an email account. But she would never ask for one. Ever. Something that seems so big. Extravagant. Unnecessary. (In full disclosure she has asked to go to Paris, France for her 13th birthday – but considers it an education experience as he wants to go to the museums and work on her language skills. And maybe she is being kind and thoughtful asking years in advance so we can save up for the trip :).
But she’s 11 today. And caught between this world of childhood and becoming a teen.
With what I see is no real hurry to grow-up. And I am so thankful for that. For her.
Eloise is one of the smartest, most thoughtful, kind, loving, giving and beautiful people I’ve ever met. And yet I know she doesn’t think she is any of those things.
To her she is just a girl. Who happens to turn 11 today. And she’ll do it very, very quietly.
Happy 11th Birthday, Eloise. My love, my daughter, my friend, my teacher, my first guide in this amazing journey of motherhood.
May all of your (very very very quiet) wishes come true. xoxoxo