I love to brag and rub it in your face about the fact that my kids don’t really use technology. They play dolls, run around the neighborhood playing with friends, or spend hours on art projects on the family room floor. I mean sure, as a family we own two laptops(one for me and one for Jed), and we have a shared family iPad, and we both have iPhones…but the kids do not own anything techie for themselves – no gaming devices, no tablets, no iPods, no laptops, no phones..nothing. Basically it’s because we don’t love them as much as the parents who buy their eight year olds laptops and iPad Minis.
But maybe the future therapy bills will be more expensive than just buying them a tablet?
They’ve never asked for anything with a screen or on-button. And until lately, they rarely have asked to use our computers or phones, and I just found the iPad under a pile of books – and it had a lot of dust on it. It also took me three hours to find the charger cord thing.
We also don’t ever talk in hashtags in our home. And my kids have never sent a text. #lame
Oh my gosh – I’m raising outcasts.
But this school year is killing me and my computer time. I know some of you
probably nobody have been wondering why I’m not blogging as much, and can you guess why I’m not blogging…
A. I’ve made all of the money I care to make blogging and I’m now so famous that I need to give someone else a chance.
B. I don’t remember my passwords.
C. My 10 year old has to type one million pages a week and do research on one million projects for school
The correct answer is probably actually ‘B’ – but today let’s just say ‘C’ or this post won’t make any sense.
Because now Eloise needs technology to complete her homework – from setting up an email account for her to communicate with her teacher and classmates with whom she is working on projects, to researching the Kwakiutl Tribe, to typing out a five page personal narrative every single week. And if you are adding up all that computer time – in blogging time – that’s about 5,000,000 hours and 3,000,000 posts that I can no longer write because HOMEWORK, and the girl is always on my computer.
So I find myself at 7pm whining and stomping around the house and throwing a tantrum for my 10 year old to just get off my laptop so I can work
check Facebook! And Eloise is all “Well maybe it’s time that I own my own laptop!” And I’m all “Well maybe you need to get a job!” And she’s all “You don’t love me and you want me to fail school because you won’t let me use your laptop to complete my homework!” And I’m all like “I did like you better before you learned how to type!” And she is all like “Nobody understands me around here!” And I’m all like “I hope you still believe in Santa because the big guy might be your only saving grace of owning your own technology this year!” And she’s all like “Does he love me enough to buy me a MacBook instead of a cheap Windows machine?” And I’m all like “Have you seen the unemployment numbers lately?” And she is all like “Mother!”
And then I just go watch Orange Is The New Black on Netflix until she gets her paper finished ON MY LAPTOP. But by the time she is done and is in bed at 8:30pm I am too tired to do any work – so I just fall asleep too.
Thus – NO BLOGGING and my TWEEN HAS TAKEN OVER MY COMPUTER TIME!
And I really don’t want to get her a computer. Because she’s only 10 and why does she have all of this homework????
But I can no longer live in technology-denial…..So we are making a plan for her(and her ‘soon to have too much homework too’ sisters) to ‘earn’ money to help buy one laptop for ALL THREE GIRLS TO SHARE and maybe Santa will kick-in the rest.
But until December 25th – you may never see me again. Because homework.
So what say you internets(not that I can respond..BECAUSE HOMEWORK) – do your elementary age kids own technology thingys???