I love my children dearly. I love each of them just so much that sometimes I’m overwhelmed with this strange and crazy I love I have for them. Like I want to hug them up and tackle them with kisses and awkwardly have my 10 year old sit on my lap in front of her friends kind of love because seriously, they’re delicious.
And my middle girl, my Esther, well she reciprocates love more than the lot of them put together. And I know that’s some horrible math, but Esther sucks at math most the time, so we’re just going to pretend that sentence totally worked.
Esther would sit on my lap all day if I let her. She’d smother me in kisses and hugs and run her hands through my hair. She’d sleep next to her baby sister and give her unlimited kisses in front of any friend. She’s the first to run into our arms and usually the last hug I get before bedtime.
But I’ll be damned if that girl is just not very graceful and does just some pretty innocently silly things.
When Esther was two and a half she was brushing her teeth while twirling in a new dress. She slipped and fell on top of the toothbrush in her mouth. It punctured the back of her throat and she stopped breathing and lost consciousness. I was a crazy lady as I revived her and waiting for the ambulance. She was fine, but all twirling while brushing became a no-no in our home.
Exactly two weeks after the toothbrush incident, Esther slipped while walking and slammed into a neighbor’s swing-set. She broke all three bones in her left arm. CPS was called to talk to me in the hospital while I waited for Esther’s arm to get set. Two visits in two weeks is noticed.
A month later, while still in a cast, Esther tripped in a parking lot causing major gashes on both knees, her good hand, cutting her lip open and bruising and turning her front teeth black.
I sat with her in my arms in that parking lot saying good-bye to her as I knew for sure I would now be arrested. This two year old child surely needed to get some better feet under her.
I was not arrested, and we went six years without an incident. Wrapping her in bubble-wrap, getting her interested in activities like knitting, reading and baking also helped.
Until this past Sunday night.
“Mom…” Esther said quietly with tears already forming in the corner of her eyes. “I have something to tell you, but I don’t want to tell you because you will be so mad.”
Oh Esther, what’s wrong? What happened? You can tell me anything at anytime. I will not get mad.
“Mom, I can tell you are already mad at me!!” Now sobbing.
Esther, why would I be mad? You must tell me what’s going on?
“Oh Mom, I swallowed a penny! You know that special Canadian penny I had with Queen Elizabeth on it? I loved that penny.” She bawled.
Esther, how did you swallow a penny?
***Eloise interrupting the conversation “OMG really Esther – you are EIGHT YEARS OLD and you SWALLOWED A PENNY?!?! Seriously, OMG seriously LIKE OMG.”***
“Eloise, leave me alone!” Esther screamed.
Me giggling now – Really Eloise, that’s not helping.
“Mom, I just had it in my mouth for like an hour because it was really cold and I wanted to suck on it to see if it would get warm, but it never really did no matter how long I held it in my mouth. So weird. And then I was going to take it out, but instead I swallowed it. I want my penny back. I want Queen Elizabeth back.” Esther continued to sob.
Esther, do you know what year was on the penny.
(Frantically Googling “My child swallowed a penny.” “My child swallowed a Canadian Penny.” “My child swallowed Queen Elizabeth.” “My child swallowed a Canadian One Cent Coin.” “What are Canadian One Cent coins made out of?” “Will a penny kill my child” “Can my child poop out a penny” “Do I have to save my child’s poop?” “How will we know when the penny is gone?”)
“It was like 1982 or something like that.” Esther confirmed.
Oh good, they used copper on their coins in Canada until well into the 90s. I think you’ll be fine. Just hang with it for a few days and then you will poop it out. But let me know if it’s bothering you at all this week.
“Can I have it back when I poop it out?” Esther inquired.
No, I’ll find you another early 80s Canadian one cent coin this week. But please don’t put it in your mouth, okay?