Sad

It’s a difficult thing mourning for a cat. It’s something you truly don’t want to talk about because no one wants to compare an animal life with a human life, and truly nobody wants to fully admit that they are possibly some crazy cat lady.

 

So I believe that most cat mourning is done with quiet tears on the couch late at night, with the lights down and a warm blanket on your lap. while you watch sappy romantic comedies and sip moderately priced pinot noir. Or so I’ve heard.

 

But I’ve never done my quiet and tearful cat mourning before while another kitty presses his warm furry body up around my neck and head and finally comes to rest upon my chest while occasionally licking my cheek, while he makes this painful whining noise because he misses his brother. His litter-mate. His best friend. His lifelong companion.

Truffle now follows me everywhere, wants to ride upon my shoulder nearly all day, and at times searches the deep corners of the house because his silly brother must be hiding somewhere and will pounce on him at any moment. Truffle investigates any strange noise in the house, almost looking hopeful that it must be Tyko. A few evenings ago as we were perhaps in our evening mourning position, the radiator made a noise and when we both looked towards the noise, we noticed a pillow causing a shadow on the window that looked exactly like two black cat ears. Truffle immediately got up on his hind legs and started shaking and making the saddest meowing noise I’ve ever heard. Then he ran to the shadow – finding nothing and he walked back across the room to me with his head down and whimpered on my chest for the next hour.

 

And my heart broke all over again.

 

So when people say ‘it’s just a cat’ – I need you to say that to Truffle, because now I know how deeply an animal can feel for someone – and while I’m sad for all of us, I’m the saddest for Truffle because I still don’t think he knows that Tyko is not coming back.

 

Eloise stopped crying herself to sleep a few nights ago. For a week Esther would tell me she was having trouble sleeping because of Eloise’s sobbing. Tyko was Esther’s cat but truthfully he preferred Eloise over any of us and it was her lap he found every morning and evening, and her room he liked to hang-out in. Eloise is taking this harder than the rest of us humans, and if you know our Eloise, you know how much this hurts her.

 

Esther hasn’t said much of anything and I think would prefer not to talk about it. Astrid started this make-believe game last week where she would take all of her stuffed animals to the vet and then they would all die. After two days of hundreds of dead stuffed animals I finally I had to sit down with her and squelch her imagination by telling her almost all animals go to the vet and get better, and only a few actually have to die. So I asked Astrid to please start playing an “all animals get better” game instead. So she stopped playing any animal games at all because once a parent steps in, the fun of playing is gone and I’m sure there will now be some therapy bill down the line because I just could not let her go on and on with the imaginary dead animal game.

 

I’m having a hard time doing any work or getting on the computer after the kids are in bed. Instead I find myself on the couch at 8:30 in the dark while I give Truffle my full attention. So I apologize if that email is a bit late. And if I do find myself on the computer, instead of writing I’m visiting cat rescue sites looking for Tyko. But I know he won’t be there, so instead I look for a substitute because maybe a kitten is just what we need right now.

 

Even though I know it’s too soon and a decision based solely upon emotion and the look in Truffle’s eyes.

But I dare say the positive that has come out of Tyko’s death is that you will currently not find a more spoiled cat anywhere on the planet. Truffle has new toys, new food, has access to new places in the house, has a lap to curl-up on and a shoulder to ride one at all times, sisters who don’t want to do anything but play with him, and we’ve decided to just leave the bathroom sink faucet running all day and night because truly nothing is more fun than a bathroom sink for a cat.

 

That damn spoiled Truffle. Oh how we love him.

 

About Tracy


My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

Comments

  1. says

    oh, you’re breaking my heart here. We’ve had lots and lots of animals over the years, but none of them were ever particularly close to each other, so one’s passing didn’t affect the others very much that we could tell. I can’t imagine how hard it is to watch a mourning kitty cat- hugs to all of you, especially Truffle!
    Corey Moortgat recently posted..Avery’s Art Journal

  2. says

    I have a pile of tissues beside me because I know the sadness and loss you speak of. I remember our cat mourning the loss of our dog along with us a few years ago. And recently we are mourning the loss of our cat, too. I know people say ‘it’s just a cat or dog’ but they are furry members of the family. I hope that the coming days get easier for you and Truffle.
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..I Talk Too Much

  3. says

    When our beloved dog died when I was in college, we were all bereft. It was so hard on my mom that she swore she’d never go through it again and refused to get another pet. It is very difficult! Poor Truffle.
    Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) recently posted..Wait for me

  4. says

    My heart breaks for Truffle. Poor guy. And for everyone else. I’ve never known life without a pet of some kind, and the heartbreak doesn’t ever get any easier, but being able to reach out and give a home to a shelter pet is the best kind of love I know. I swear it makes our hearts larger.

    I could hardly make it through a day when I lost my beloved Harmon nearly 3 years ago. My heart felt like it was torn in two, and our other cat just looked so sad and lost. After a month, we all felt it was time to bring another cat in to our home, and Eli has filled in the painful gaps for all of us. Still, to this day I can be driven to tears just thinking about Harmon. That’s how powerful an animals love is to us.

    For Truffle, I think an older cat friend, when you are ready, will be a wonderful tonic. Shelters are full of adults that no one wants because kittens are so darn cute. All of our cats have been adopted as adults.
    Kate recently posted..imperfection {just write 69}

  5. says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been there. All I can can say is the grief will lose its sharp edge after a while, and you’ll have happy memories of your beloved pet. Also, the right kitty will find you when it’s meant to be, so you can make new memories. Hang in there!
    Lisa recently posted..Playdate Commandments

  6. says

    I don’t think we pay much attention to how our other pets feel when they lose a companion. I mean, sure we know they must feel it, but do we ever really consider how acutely the feel it compared to how we feel? I’m glad Truffle is being doted on, but I’m sad because of why.
    Arnebya recently posted..I Quit You. For Now.

  7. Auntie Amy says

    It broke my heart reading about Tyko and Truffle’s mourning! I’ve been there and its a terrible pain—Figgy still pains me and looking at my “old man Ellie” daily makes me fearful of the day I’ll have to make the decision. I keep looking at the selection during “adoption day” and your post friend is right,the kittens always get taken but there are beautiful older cats that can provide great joy. Get a “toddler” or young cat…when it’s the right time you will know. for now, snuggle with Truffle and spoil him a bit more….

  8. says

    I am so heartbroken for Truffle. And Eloise. And all the reat of you.
    We lost our Thunder (dog) last year and my other dog, Reeses, was distraught for a while. She had never known a day with Thunder by her side. Thunder died at home, rather unexpectedly, but Reeses was there, so I think she understood what it meant. I know that sounds crazy, but I really think she understood that Thunder was not coming back.
    Anyways, the individual attention and spoiling and more access to the other parts of the house that we gave Reeses really helped her. I hope that it will help Truffle, too.
    Shannon recently posted..These Moments of Sisterhood

  9. jill says

    ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    We rescued two kitten last year, Chuck Norris and Daphne, Ava became their mommy. They joined the rest of the small-dog sized farm cats (including our very own Donut) here in rural Iowa. We’ve spayed and neutered our felines for years, our kids have never known a litter of kittens to be born on our place but I’m going to let Daphne have a litter before she visits the vet because she is the most preciously sweet plush creamsicle cat, everyone that comes in contact with her is instantly in love with her. You and your girls are officially invited down to get one of her kittens if we have a success in the reproduction department this summer….I’ll keep you posted.

  10. says

    I do not believe a cat is just a cat or a dog is just a dog. They’re a part of the family and their loss is immeasurable to the family that loves them. I was in grade school when our rabbit died AND I WAS A MESS. As an adult I went through my dog dying. I am not a person who recovers from pet death. Just can’t do it. After my dog died I never got another pet. But yes, get a kitty. It’s never too soon to have another cat love you.
    Suzy Soro (@HotComesToDie) recently posted..I Have A Face For Radio

  11. says

    I’ve been thinking of you and Tyko a lot as I cuddle my kitty. My heart was hardened after my last cat, not because we had to put him to sleep and I missed him but because he was a total a-hole who hid in the dark and attacked me at every turn. A few years passed and I agreed to a kitten for the kids and we got Momo and Momo likes me best and now I’m a total sap. So, yeah, I’ve been thinking about you a lot.

    I must admit that Astrid’s game made me laugh. I will never rid myself of my dark sense of humor.
    Vikki recently posted..Leaving Foreword And Moving Forward

  12. Wendy says

    I am sorry for your loss. A few years ago we had to put our dog down and the grief was hard but having to watch my little girl grieve was beyond heart wrenching. Take care.

  13. Mamaintheburbs says

    I’m so sorry it still hurts. It’s going to take a while for things to get back to normal. When our black lab died, we had no kids, so I can only imagine how hard it is to watch your kids grieve. My heart goes out to you! I think another kitty is a good idea. And it’s never too early!!

  14. says

    It gets easier, but you never forget. Athens died six months ago and the other day I saw a Weimaraner that looks just like him and I followed him for two blocks just so I could see his floppy ears and little tail.

  15. says

    I really am so so sorry.

    I love our two dogs sickly (really. it’s not right) and have trouble imagining losing either one.

    And yet we’ve already hinted around about getting a THIRD DOG (did I say sick already) in a year or two when the older of our sweet girls is getting…OLDER.

    The hope, I suppose, is that a new dog will ease the transition for everyone.

    But you know (and I know, and Truffle and Eloise know) that the ones we love are irreplaceable.

    No matter how many feet they walk on.
    julie gardner recently posted..So we had a fire

  16. says

    We got our dog, Socks, when my daughter was eight years old. She is now 13. I used to roll my eyes at people who acted as if their pets were a part of their family.

    No more. Socks rules our domain.

  17. says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. And poor Truffle. :( We went through a similar thing last year – we lost one kitty, and we were all so heartbroken, and then our oldest cat died a few months later. It was so hard on my girls, especially my 5 yr-old. And hearing “it’s just a cat,” is so hurtful. They are a part of the family and it’s okay and right for us to mourn their passing.
    I’m accepting now that I’m a crazy cat lady! It took us a couple of months of healing before we brought a new kitten in to the house and (like babies) they breathe new life and love into your heart.
    Amy recently posted..To Newtown, With Love

  18. says

    I read this with tears streaming down my face…I’ve lost 3 beloved kitties over the years and each and every one of them still lives in my heart and I will love them forever…they were never “just a cat”, and it breaks my heart when people say that. Sending you, Eloise, Truffle and the rest of your sweet family lots and lots of purrs and love…take all the time you need to mourn your furbaby…I’ll send a prayer up to my furry angels to take care of your Tyko and make sure they show him all the sunny napping spots and all the best treat dispensers up there on the clouds.

  19. says

    I’m an animal person and I still cry on random days when I have a memory come back about one that has left us.
    My girls have not lost a pet yet though and just thinking of how similar my Ashley and your Eloise are, well…it broke my heart reading this.
    Sending lots of love to all of you! xo
    Kristen recently posted..Connecting Through Music

  20. Kellie says

    I’m sorry about your cat. Truffle must miss his brother dearly. If he’s ever looking for a playmate he could always call my dog and 2 cats on their aniphones (my word invented a few seconds ago to mix the word animal and phones)for a playdate.

Trackbacks