Take this easy quiz to see if you are ready to become a parent!
1. You can be a nurse without training! You can clean-up vomit – from floors, walls, clothing, hair, bodies, furniture, your MacBook, doors, stuffed animals, pianos and crayons – without gagging once while simultaneously holding a child and wielding a bottle of bleach.
2. You are fine having no friends! Instead of going to coffee with a girlfriend after preschool drop-off, you realize that you have to drive around picking up the school snack you forgot, delivering your daughter her violin that she forgot, and going to the vet for the cat’s flea meds.
3. You love the natural look! You can spend an hour each morning brushing and styling your daughters hair so it’s just perfect but you haven’t had a haircut in two years and decide the ‘dirty-messy bun’ must be the ‘in’ style for moms.
4. You now only pretend to do yoga! You will spend your money on cute clothing for your kids as they outgrow everything every 10 days, so your clothing budget is now for tees and yoga pants from Target. That you bought in 2005.
5. You vaguely remember nice restaurants! You will go to places where ‘kids eat free’ and rarely go anywhere without a kids menu. Also, you eat your child’s left-over mini corn dogs and comment on how they compare to the last place you ate. Because sadly you know these things.
6. You are prepared! Your designer purse will no longer hold cute little wallets and trinkets and the latest hot lip-gloss colors. Now it contains a bag of goldfish, some fruit snacks and some dried-up tissues that can easily be reused.
7. You love people! Well little people as you realize you won’t be alone ever for the next 10 or so years or more. Who are these small people following me?
8. You will never be featured in a Home Design Magazine! You can forget that nice furniture and perfectly placed kitschy accessories! Your look is now “stained microfiber meets stuffed animal land a la random dirty sippy cup on shelf with fingerprint covered pictures!” Tres non chic.
9. You think the beach is overrated! You can forget those romantic and quiet vacations to exotic island destinations during off-season- now your vacations are planned around school vacation to destinations with talking characters, millions of other children, and OMG fun – waterparks!
10. Your body is a playground! Sure your tummy won’t look like it did before you had kids – it might be lined or wrinkly or a little extra chubby, but what a fun feature to have so your kids can point at it and say ‘ewww, how did that happen?’ and then poke at it all of the time.
11. You cannot imagine your life any other way! 10 years ago I would’ve looked at the ten points above and ran the other way, but I would have missed out on the most amazing privilege on earth – and that is being a parent. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love my kids. Every moment with them is worth it’s weight in cleaning up vomit.
It’s a glamorous job, huh? And it’s one I wouldn’t trade for anything. I may bitch about no me time and complain about no money and cry about wanting MY hair done MY toes done MY nails done GOD LOOK AT MY UNIBROW; I AM ABE VIGODA’S BLACK TWIN – but I still wouldn’t change it.
I sometimes do wish though that the ones in my house who magically appear behind me, especially after I’ve been picking my nose or as I’ve been sneaking food I told her she couldn’t have — would stop following me. So quietly.
Arnebya recently posted..Just One
Every word is true!! #9: the beach is mostly over-rated now because of the sheer amount of crap we have to haul there to “relax” (aka watch our children like hawks in the hopes that they don’t get hurt or worse). Wouldn’t trade it for the world or even designer clothes.
Mama Melch recently posted..That Girl vs. This Girl
Did you peek into my life?
Love you. xo
Alison recently posted..Labels Are Bullshit
So very true. Love the description of your purse contents. I used to leave the house with just a wallet. It was a cute leather wallet that I could tuck in a coat pocket, and I’d put a lipstick in the other pocket. That was it. Now? I have that largest purse ever manufactured as well as a diaper bag for longer excursions. (And both have fish crackers swimming in them.)
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Ghosts
What a glamorous life we lead, right? I wouldn’t change a thing though.
(But seriously. Just a little bit of ‘me’ time wouldn’t hurt.)
Kimberly recently posted..Essence Of Now: Good News and Big Smiles
#4, Oh my yes. I now have a collection of yoga pants. They are the perfect mom-wear in every way possible! And Target is currently selling some I LOVE for only $15! (I bought two pair) But the last time I DID yoga? Ummm…. My older son was about 2, and it was because I loved taking him to the child care center so I could get a break. *sigh* He’s about to turn 11….
Nicole(Whole Strides) recently posted..Pear and Blue Cheese Vinaigrette Salad
Perfect description of the first 10 years!
As a parent to double digit age children, I am here to tell you that they eventually learn how to hit the toilet with their vomit (most of the time) and my purse is (mostly) mine again. We are (almost) done with kids menus but Oh My God the bill (6 ft tall 13yo son can EAT). Still no friends and no wardrobe, but I go to the bathroom alone now.
And, best of all, I am still loving it.
Shannon recently posted..Minute
Love this, especially #4 and #8. You could have stepped inside my closet and inside our living room. We’ve got the stained microfiber look down to a science. Happy Friday!
Christie @randomreflectionz recently posted..A Wealth of Summer Blooms in January
This is my life too! Oh! I love it!
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..ABCs of Exploring Books with Children: R-Z
I found a dried up, mostly decomposed banana peel in my purse once. Didn’t even phase me.
Leigh Ann recently posted..Artistic prodigies
Wait! What have I gotten myself into??! You forgot the part about cleaning up poop, That’s my favorite part.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Friday Round-Up: How did I get here?
Oh! Do I still have a choice whether or not I want to be a parent? No?
Aw shucks. I failed the quiz.
Lady Jennie recently posted..Life in the Trenches – Chapter 2