Dear Daughters, Why I Blog

“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
Philip Pullman

Eloise writes in her journal almost daily. Her thoughts are deeper than mine were at her age. I found my third grade diary and mainly found posts that said “Dear Dairy, Today we had peas again at lunch.” or “Dear Dairy, Scott Wellington likes me.” or “Dear Dairy, My brother is mean.” Yes, I spelled ‘diary’ wrong the whole year and how could I really share my deepest darkest secrets when I was writing to a dairy the whole time.

 

I don’t read Eloise’s journal and she doesn’t read my blog, but she did ask me the other day why I blog instead of just keeping a private journal like I used to do when I was young. I thought that was a great question because it’s true…just think of how private our diaries and journals were of our youth. They were locked up tight, we kept the keys around our necks for safe keeping and our precious locked words were then kept under pillows and deep in drawers that were in rooms with doors closed.

 

Now our words are out there for everyone to read. Our deepest, darkest thoughts, our personal feelings, and our daily doings. Open. It’s weird to think about my journaling that way. But I guess I don’t really share my deepest thoughts on my blog. Those are still locked away in my heart with my own private key and only I know where it’s hidden. My blog is not my diary. Or my dairy. My blog is just my blog.

 

And with any writing medium – sometimes you just need to put it down and walk away. I found months of blank pages in my childhood diaries. Yet I don’t want my children to come back to my blog one day and wonder why I was quiet sometimes. It’s not like life was not happening every minute of those days for us. It was just maybe because I got busy or the words wouldn’t come or I didn’t want to write the sad.

 

And I know that sometimes we just want to hit delete and walk away. It’s on these days that I need to get back to Eloise’s question…

Dear children, this is why I blog..

 

1. Because I want to remember when you were little. I will never take the time to print out photos or fill-out your baby books or make elaborate scrapbooks for you. So this, this is what you will have someday along with tens of thousands of pictures I’ve taken of you. You will find those on my hard-drives. Sorry.

 

2. Because sometimes I don’t have anyone to talk to you. No one tells you how lonely motherhood can be, but through writing I can communicate -even if it’s just to myself and feel like I’ve said something today even though no words were spoken.

 

3. Because there are amazing people out there that I can connect with on the Internets. We use our blogs and social media to form playgroups of our own and I’ve made lifelong friends.

 

4. Because I want you to know me as more than a mom. I’m not a great verbal storyteller and I don’t want you to wake-up in your 40’s and wonder what your mother was like. All you have to do is find me here and you will know who I was. There are so many questions I never asked my grandmother. I don’t want you to one day regret the questions that were never asked.

 

5. Because I want to remember stuff and if I don’t write it down I’m afraid that I will forget it immediately. Because it happened here right in this little life we are making. And it’s the little things, not the big things. We will remember your first steps, your prom and graduation. You will remember your first kiss and the first time you drove a car. I’m talking about times like last night when Esther was playing rock-paper-scissors with the cats…I want to remember that.(More on that in another post).

 

6. Because sometimes you don’t laugh at my jokes but maybe somebody else will find them funny. And maybe not. But it’s worth trying on a bigger audience.

 

7. Because I like to write. It feels good to do it and to read it, and it makes my mind happy. I don’t want an old and feeble mind that cannot put thoughts to paper one day. I want to write on the day I die. Whenever that might be.

 

Love you girls,

Mom

P.S. You might want to consider starting a blog. Trust me on this. There will be lots of my advice that you will not take, but this one…this one. I hope it sticks for you.

*******

What I Wore Wednesday – Super casual running errands day when I could not even get my contacts in – Sweater from Matilda Jane, Jeans from Anthropologie, Scarf from a local boutique, Funky socks from Oilily, Shoes from Hot Mama.

 

About Tracy


My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

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Comments

  1. says

    I love this. I love all of these reasons. For me, part of it is also that I want to be seen in all my complexity and sometimes even I am just figuring that out as I go along.
    Vikki recently posted..NaBloPoMoWoe

  2. Jana says

    Ugh is it wrong that I am now kicking myself for not getting that sweater when it was on sale lastc week. Dang, dang, dang. Love!

    Oh and Sophia keeps a journal, she is an amazing writer and I love when she says “I’m going to go write”.

  3. says

    I love that you took the time to make this list & I love every single one of those reasons, but, wow, #s 4 & 5 really got me! (Side note: I find it difficult to believe you aren’t a great verbal story teller because you rock it out of the park with the written word…) But, yes, really #5…I feel like I already forget SO much. I read your blogs about memories of your childhood & grandparents & they are so vivid & detailed & beautiful…I am sure I have similar memories, I just wish I could remember them with the clarity that you do…and that is why I worry that I will forget so much of what it was like to be me, right now, in this beautiful, busy, crazy season of life. Thanks for this great post, which is a great encouragement to me to keep at it!

    • says

      I go one of two ways when I talk – either babbling like a crazy person who makes no sense…or I hide in a corner say as little as possible. One day I’ll be normal in social situations. Okay, maybe not.

  4. says

    These are all the best reasons. It’s so great that our kids can get to know us through our blogs. I do kinda wish I still journaled though. I swear there’s someone buried under the laundry and dishes who still has deep thoughts.

  5. says

    A perfect description of why we blog! My oldest girl has started her own blog – it’s very exciting stuff about how much she loves Percy Jackson and the Vampire Diaries, but it’s still fun. And we encourage it.

    Your casual day is so much more stylish than mine :)
    Katie E recently posted..A Small Victory #iPPP

  6. says

    Loved this, Tracy! I love to blog for all these reasons, too. And this post is a great way for your girls to really know why. I couldn’t imagine not blogging, you know? xo

    • says

      I know – I love seeing so many(like you) move forward with amazing opportunities in social media and blogging..but then I truly just miss reading about them and their families.

  7. says

    I think it will be so interesting to see what this generation of kids who had moms who blogged will do-will they become bloggers too, since they loved the intimate detail their mothers provided to them? Or will they back off, saying they don’t want to share their lives with the world?

    I have completely neglected my blog this year, my goal is to get my act together for 2013 to chronicle Charlie’s high school years- I will just have to be careful about what I share or he will never take care of me when I am old…
    maybaby recently posted..carry on

    • says

      I think about that too – will they go the opposite way?

      Also, I hope you start blogging more again. You are why I am here. xo

  8. says

    Your post hits the nail on the head. I think the question of, “Why do you write a blog?” rolls around in the heads of our family, friends, and even ourselves at times. Your answers are so very true. Thanks. Also, I love your outfit. You make casual run-around outfits look spectacular!

    P.S. I briefly saw your family at Kristi’s Holiday Sale! I kept waiting for you to walk in the door so I could pounce on you and say, “Hi!” It was pretty cool seeing your girls in “real life” and your husband is cute and very tall! Next time I hope we can meet!
    Dara Dokas recently posted..How To Avoid Being Bullied

  9. says

    Yes, yes, yes!
    My only regret about blogging is that I didn’t start sooner, when my children were smaller. I feel like I have already forgotten so much. My blog helps me to take notice of things.
    Shannon recently posted..Ho-Ho-Hum

    • says

      Sometimes my middle daughter will ask me to show her blog posts and pictures of when she was a baby…and I’m like – “Um, you will three when I started writing here.”

  10. says

    LOVE this and it much more eloquently includes many of the reasons I stumble through when people ask me. Just last night I was at local bloggers’ meet-up and I listed several of the reasons you included here. My biggest reason? My memory has gone in the crapper since becoming a mom and if I don’t blog it, chances are I’ll forget it.

    I once heard a wise man say (OK, fine, it was Ralph Lauren’s son on Oprah) that the reason he loved all the scrapbooks his mom made him and his siblings year after year is it let them see themselves the way she saw them. I knew I was never going to make scrapbooks but that sort of stuck with me. It will be nice for my daughter to know how I viewed her and parenting, rather than just her own memories of stuff. I just hope she doesn’t hate me for it when she’s a tween and teen. Glad to hear from someone like you who is several years ahead of me in the parenting game that perhaps there’s a way to keep going without alienating my daughter.
    Jackie @ MomJovi recently posted..The Most Surreal Celebrity Sighting of All Time

  11. says

    Those damn cats wouldn’t just let her win, would they? Assholes.

    Sometimes, I’m still afraid to put my innermost thoughts/secrets onto the blog. I still write them down. And then hide them from myself and get all hey what’s this when I go to clean out the closet and here’s this 3 yr old thing I wrote about [ ]. Well duh, I can’t just say it.
    Arnebya recently posted..BlogHer Syndication

    • says

      My innermost thoughts are hidden in the back of a drawer with my vibrator..I mean my underwear. :-)

      And did you know that the cats are ‘rock’ every damn time? So annoying.

    • says

      I always leave sucky comments because my brain is mush. I love you. Your comment doesn’t suck at all nor is it trite. You’re hot.

  12. says

    Yes, yes, yes! Sometimes I question myself why I blog…I think we all do. But ultimately it is for my family so they know who and what I am all about! And someday when I’m 100 years old and drooling in the nursing home, wearing depends and asking what their names are…they’ll pull out the blog and say remember when Grandma was hip and went to Black Keys concerts and stuff! Keep on Bloggin’! I for one am a BIG fan!
    Lisa recently posted..Dorothy Doodle

  13. says

    Great post! Reasons 2 and 3 really resonated with me. I totally agree. Somedays my hubby is the only other grown up I talk to and he is a man, after all and not at all interested in talking about girl stuff. And the friendships I’ve made online are incredible. ;)
    CC recently posted..Shopping Ban Update

  14. says

    Fabulous. I love so much about this and I blog for the same reasons. I started as a writer looking for venue, but it is so much more than that now. This is possibly my favorite part of your post: “2. Because sometimes I don’t have anyone to talk to you. No one tells you how lonely motherhood can be, but through writing I can communicate -even if it’s just to myself and feel like I’ve said something today even though no words were spoken.”
    Angela recently posted..One Small Boy

  15. says

    I love this! I too blog to remember the small things. To communicate out to the world in the hopes that other moms, maybe not on my street, but in another state all together are feeling the same way I am. Still working on finding my voice on this crazy blog. You’re a rock star!

  16. says

    You’ve said it all so beautifully. I remember how I fiercely protected my diary and journal when I was growing up yet it’s different with the blog, no? Yes, we’re forming our own playgroups and finding comfort and creating a space (and identity) for ourselves outside of mom. And those little moments that you mention – because damn it, my memory is already failing me and I can’t manage to organize the gazillions of pictures that we have except for through the blog.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Portraits of a Mother

  17. says

    AS always you say what we are all thinking and you say it so perfectly. I’ve realized I don’t blog very much about my children-though I wish I had done so when they were younger. I do write often about how I feel about this motherhood thing.
    Robbie recently posted..I’ve Never

  18. says

    All great reasons. I especially like the one about motherhood being lonely and needing to connect with others. I would also add one more to my personal list of reasons why I blog rather than just writing in a journal. First, I have never been able to keep a journal. Without the public accountability it is too easy for me to lapse in the writing routine and my writing fails to live up to a standard that I can be proud of. I also end up discontinuing my journal and then tossing them in the trash a few months later after I’ve gone back and read my embarrassing ramblings. Blogging, on the other hand, has forced me to be more intentional in both my writing and my actions. When I write something and post it for all the world to see (even though only a handful of people are probably actually reading it), I feel an obligation to live up to what I’m writing. In short, I need to say what I mean and mean what I say. And then act accordingly.

    Great post.
    Christie recently posted..Learning to Ride a Bike (and other missed opportunities)

  19. says

    I kept journals my entire life. Now I write them online, separate from my blog. I don’t reveal anything too personal on my blog because one day, many years ago, I realized the only times I wrote in my journal were when I was upset, angry, broken-hearted. I never wrote when things were going well because THINGS WERE GOING WELL!!

    My journals are ultimately very depressing. And I’m a comedian. Dear God.
    Suzy Soro (@HotComesToDie) recently posted..The Back Cover Is Done!

  20. says

    Oh I love it. I was just thinking about this.

    My last post was all about this line between diary and not diary. Between sharing and not sharing. Because I want to share and connect because yes it is lonely, and I just want to find a playgroup.
    Marta recently posted..Telling the Truth.

  21. says

    You’re cute on errand day. :-)

    Great post – great reasons to write. I have so much to say and I like that people can read it or not, but that I get to say everything.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Friday Night

  22. says

    yes! YES!
    it was all of this and some of this. In the beginning I just wanted to talk about my infertility..and see if there were people out there “like me”.

    today, I just love writing, love taking a prompt somewhere new, love sharing stories of my sons..and my past. I find that I can write myself out of most anything lately. It’s good therapy, and I hope that someday my sons see that…that their mom loved writing and sharing herself, just as much as she loved them.

    this is fantastic.
    Kir recently posted..Write on Edge: Desire on Display

  23. says

    This hits the nail on the head for me. You took the words out of my mouth, but said them so much more eloquently than I could. Fantastic post!

    It’s funny because I feel the exact same way…My blog is my scrapbook. I am much more crafty with words versus paper! ;)

    And your OOTD? SO fun. You are such a cool mom.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Dear Daughters: Why I blog Did you used to keep a diary or journal when you were younger? Did you protect it fiercely, under lock and key and hidden away so no one could read it? Why it is that as we’ve gotten older, we’ve decided to blog and keep a very public diary? That’s the question that Tracy’s daughter posed. Her answers sum it up perfectly. Why do you blog? […]