I find that most of my friends in my age group have moved well past the toddler years and instead find themselves attending more graduation parties than playgroups. While my girlfriends are buying gorgeous new accessories and handbags that don’t have to be toddler proof, I find my typical accessory is still simply my toddler either balancing on my hip or hiding behind my right leg. (But at least we match)
It’s a rare occasion that I find myself out without kids so I try to act like the mature adult that I believe I still am. Until I realize that there are some tell-tale signs, no matter how hard I try, to tell that I am still a parent of a toddler when I’m out in public.
1. Upon entering a home and invited to sit down, I immediately sit on the floor instead of on a comfortable chair.
2. I speak to other adults in the third person “Tracy would like another glass of wine now.”
3. I use the word “potty” instead of “bathroom” when I excuse myself to go.
4. I find myself cutting my food(and maybe your food) into tiny pieces before I start eating.
5. I have a gut reaction and find myself blurting out “NO!” to every question asked.
6. If you are a guest in my home I will occasionally pour your coffee into a sippee cup.
7. I will randomly praise my adult friends for doing a good job. “Great job Sandy on clearing your own plate!”
8. I find myself fastening your seat belt when we get in my minivan(yes, minivan).
9. When we go shopping and my adult friends pick-up something breakable I immediately snatch it out of their hands while yelling “Don’t touch that!”
10. Instead of talking about interesting articles I’ve read lately at the Huffington Post or Wall Street Journal, I will ask if anyone has seen the Yo Gabba Gabba episode starring Anthony Bourdain or if they caught Katy Perry on Sesame Street.
Are you a parent of a toddler? What gives you away in adult only social situations? Maybe I just need to get out more.
******
In other news I am guesting posting at Debi’s place today – The Truth About Motherhood. I got to know Debi last Summer when I bought her BlogHer ticket. We’ve been friends every since. She’s an amazing lady and I love her dearly and would love for you to visit me there.
Another great post to start my day Tracy – Thanks! You always have me rolling with laughter. The wine in a sippy cup? Stellar. Xoxo
My girls are 10 & 8 now and I still say potty and sit on the carpet. I’m the one who needs to get out more and desparately!
Headed over to your guest post!
More than once I have handed something to someone and luckily stopped myself before saying “now say thank you.”
I would be perfectly happy with wine or coffee in a sippy cup if someone else is getting it for me.
Jessica recently posted..Tucked Away
When the kids were babies I used to make random cooing noises to people. I blame the sleep deprivation.
Jennifer recently posted..Just Be Happy
Ha! #1 had me laughing out loud! Here’s one for me, I can’t sit still in church anymore. If I find myself childless, I fidget all the way through the meeting.
Wait, Anthony Bourdain was on Yo Gabba Gabba?! No one told me that! Clearly I need more informed friends.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..4 Rules for Avoiding Death at the Drive-In
What?? People don’t sit on the floor normally??
Love you. xo
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Notes To Self: The 3am Edition
True story. We had cupcakes ate Memorial Day, and I began peeling the papers for everyone as I put them on plates and passed them around. Poor adults
Um, the word bathroom has totally left my vocabulary. I always say potty and always feel silly when there are no children around.
Jaime recently posted..That Whole Sleeping Thing…Yeah…
I’ve actually been known to lean over the table on the mission to wipe my husbands, or my friends face with a napkin thankfully I’ve stopped myself just in time and make it seem I’m grabbing the salt/pepper/ketchup instead!
Hopes@StayingAfloat! recently posted..One Moment at a Time
Definitely with the potty: I’ll be back; I need to go to the pot. On Mother’s Day, I cooked a huge meal. When my sister asked for a drink I told her she had to finish eating first. When I poured her cup, I filled it only halfway. It’s not just us: the running joke at my husband’s job was how he’d poured glasses of water for everyone and no one had more than a few swallows. He was halfway around the table befores someone said what the hell and it dawned on him: toddler brain.
Arnebya recently posted..Actually, Facebook, My 11-Year-Old Does NOT Need an Account
I totally say ‘go potty’ and my 7 year old, corrects me… “Mom, we say ‘go to the bathroom or use the restroom’, potty is for babies”
Jen recently posted..I Made a Kid Cry: The Conclusion
I point out things when in the car – bus, cows etc even on my own, I also read the kids menu before booking a restaurant even when I’m not taking the kids!!
Ah yes the potty. I too go there. I think the fact that I need to be scheduled around naptime gives me away. “Oh well I’m available before 2 or after 4 because Bella will be napping in the middle.”
Marta recently posted..I Try.
I found myself telling my friends I was going to the potty recently. No kids were with me at the time. I also wiped down the table in front of the friend who was sitting next to me after the waiter took away her plate.
Stephanie recently posted..The Memories I Want Captured
I am also going to check if you have to go potty BEFORE we leave. Then when you come back I’ll ask if you washed. WITH SOAP. And finally, I will ask that you look with your eyes, not your hands, once we get to wherever we are going.
Jessica recently posted..Of Crunchy Hair…
Too funny. I definitely do #3 and #4 often!
another jennifer recently posted..Darth Mater, Dinosaurs Making Dynamite and Life without Questions
You are too cute. I love this!
Teresa recently posted..My kids were brave at the dentist!
I know I am the parent of a toddler when I can pull snacks and toys out of my purse like a magician!
I will definitely ask if you need to use the potty or poop before we leave the house/restaurant/etc. I also hum ridiculous songs all the time and I can no longer properly pronounce the names of certain objects and states such as Oklahooooooooma.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Traveling Thoughts
Sadly, I actually DO use the word “potty” instead of “bathroom” in everyday conversation.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..I Want a Yacht – And Really, That’s Not a Lot
Repeatedly asking people “do you need to go potty?”
Haha… priceless
I’m guilty of using the word potty in social situations. I also tend to use made up words that my toddler made up in adult conversations. WTF is wrong with me.
Barbara recently posted..Noah at 5 months
If it makes you feel any better. We still have sippee cups at the Bungalow, and use them for water cups at night.
Dana
Dana @ Bungalow’56 recently posted..WW: You’d Swear It Was The Olympics!
The other day, I went out for lunch with some coworkers and started cutting off small pieces of burger before I realized what I as doing.
Honestly, it feels weird to order something and know it’s all for me — and to eat something uninterrupted — and to eat, with others, without having to encourage them to eat.
So very weird
John recently posted..Where I like my kids
I am a parent of a toddler because I know that Katy Perry never actually appeared on Sesame Street because the sketch leaked and people got all upset about her short hemline and apparently missed her boobs spilling out all over the top of the dress. I also might have spent entirely too much time tweeting about it. I also may get too involved in Sesame Street politics.
Duffy recently posted..Hopeful for Regret
Hee! I’m still there with you, friend! Love!
Galit Breen recently posted..Stretch
Speaking in the third person! I feel a little multiple personality right now because have my kids are getting past the need for 3 person while they other have not.
I, Jennie, would like… Or rather: I, Mommy, just needs a few minutes to myself sowouldyoupleasestopSCFREAMING?
Lady Jennie recently posted..Coquine
I still have some sort of snack with me everywhere I go… but you know, this is a good thing, in case we get stuck in an elevator or something…
And SO true about the potty… even Tim does it! HA HA HA!
Elaine recently posted..Four Little Men & A Little Lady