Well hello there. You all probably thought that after my 1000th post I retired with my $1 and my Starbucks coffee mug into the mom bloggers archives. Or what I like to call…the bar. Or my couch with glass of pinot noir and Downton Abbey on continual play.
But no, I’m still here doing laundry and online shopping. I mean how could I leave you all.
When I haven’t yet shared this asshole with you.
This right here is what I call a First World Problem.
And it irritates me to no end.
Now I know we live in an urban area without driveways and with many apartments and business around. But our street is still such that there is ample parking for everyone and their visitors without BLOCKING MY SIDEWALK ACCESS TO THE STREET!
Especially in the Winter when this now means I have to trudge over snowbanks with my kids (typically snow is much higher than it is this year) to get to my own car and guests now have to either trudge through snowbanks or go down to the next neighbors house to get to my home.
And I’m actually a pretty tolerant person(okay not really) – but choosing to block someone’s sidewalk when there are plenty of spaces ALL AROUND YOU then WHY, WHY do you do it.
So I’ve made up these cute little passive aggressive note-cards that I LOVE putting under their wipers when they commit this heinous crime…
Dear Friend,
If you feel you must park in front of our home instead of in front of your home or your friend’s home or just while you are here visiting our community for a bit, please do not block our sidewalk access to the street.
It’s the neighborly thing to do.
Have a great day!
The owner and tax payer of the home you are parked in front of
Which drives Jed crazy because 1. I care so much about this and spend way too much time policing the area, and 2. He’s committed the same crime..and yes, I’ve left him the same note.
And I told him that I am not the only one in the city who is bothered by this..there are people out there who have made actual signs that they’ve staked at the streets reminding people to not block the sidewalks because evidently not everyone’s parents have taught them parking etiquette.
And after seven years of love-note writing I am frustrated as it’s not working and NEW inconsiderate people keep doing it…so I’ve decided just to erect a sign at the street and would love some votes on which one would be the most effective:
I could use my children..
..with their toughness or their smarts..
Or just take my kids out of the mix and teach the offenders a lesson of neighborly love….
..or make it a lesson in good manners…
Or I wonder if the city would get mad if I installed a parking pay box in front of my house?
..and if that doesn’t work maybe a small threat of something more to come…
Or just short and sweet and to the point..
And if none of that works I will use Jesus because nobody would mess with Jesus.
Would love to hear your ideas for a sign. And don’t tell me to just ignore the issue because evidently I gave them up about five years ago.
This is the kind of thing that would really piss me off too. I’m not sure what I would do about it though. Maybe just a “Please don’t block the sidewalk” would suffice.
That is so frustrating. When we were in PA, people would always park BLOCKING OUR DRIVEWAY. Um, WTF? I understand that between my driveway and the street on the other side or the church parking lot on the other side, there isn’t much room. In fact, really only one car could park there without blocking the street or the church parking lot… but these idiots would park 2 and even 3 there… thinking I didn’t need to leave my house.
Blocking your driveway? OMG I cannot even imagine that someone would do that. crazy.
Those Lazy Ass Bastards! That drives me crazy! Almost as much as the people with Handicap parking who practically skip into Target. So mad!
m.
I think the fact that it’s snowing is the worst problem. You can’t make people walk in the snow like this.
I would definitely go with “I will cut you”
Yes, I leaning towards that one also. Easy to understand.
I’m giggling b/c when you posted photos and labeled this one asshole I said asshole! out loud b/c gggggggggrrrrrrr flatten the tires of all the sidewalk blockers. And b/c I have a wicked case of PMS, my suggestions:
Only Bitches Block Sidewalks
Parking for Herpes Sufferers Only
Lamborghini Parking Only
The last person who parked here is still missing
I think I love you for the Herpes one. OMG that is brilliant.
How bout something like
Park Here at You’re Own Risk
Love the Cut You one. =P
Every once in a while someone will park in front of our driveway…WHEN OUR CAR IS PARKED IN IT. Are you effing kidding me? I have seriously been *thisclose* to calling the damn tow truck. When you decide which sign you like best, make two. I’ll pay you back.
I would totally tow those assholes. I mean who blocks a driveway WITH your car there?
Oh, woops! Was my car in your way? So sorry about that. I just needed to park in front of your sidewalk while peeking your windows to stalk you. Um, I mean…. that’s not my car, nope, not mine.
Personally, I’m a fan of WWJD, because, you know, it’s jesus and all. Or Arnebya’s suggestion of The Last Person Who Parked Here is Still Missing.
Good luck! I’ve heard getting a-holes to change is a pretty hard thing to do.
I know – assholes are incredibly inflexible.
Also, I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. XO
I like “Neighbors don’t let neighbors block sidewalks.”
Otherwise, I’d go with, “i will cut you if you park here.”
I love all of the ideas, but I have found that they will still park there. Or park there BECAUSE you have a sign. Because it makes them feel good, apparently. I used to have a sign on my garbage can, asking people very kindly to bring their dog waste home to their OWN garbage can, and I think I actually ended up with more c*#p than before I had a sign. Ahhhh, the joys of city living….
I love that grown adults like to act like 2 year olds. LOL
And this is why I hate people. My dad had to put up posts at the edge of the sidewalk to get people to stop parking on the sidewalk during church services, weddings, funerals, etc. And we’re talking row homes here – they’d be parked right up against the house.
“You’re Why I Hate People”. Maybe THAT should be a sign. Or a shirt.
I sooo feel your pain! New neighbors moved in NINE freaking months ago and park their work truck in the street between our house and theirs. We are trying to sell our damn house and we have HOA who should be enforcing this crap. I wrote about it http://fracturedfamilytales.blogspot.com/2011/11/dear-street-parking-neighbor.html
I love the idea of signs and cards! I’d go with the
“you are why I hate people” or “the last person who parked here is still missing”
I had to click over because I had no idea what a HOA is..lol. OMG I hope your neighbor has stopped!
you don’t have a driveway? or garage? so you have to park on the street? and walk through rain and snow to go into your home? and you have your own bit of sidewalk?
This may be the saddest post I’ve read from you…
Okay now I’m sad. I know – no driveway. It’s sad in the city.
I have this same pet peeve. I am teaching my kids not to block people’s sidewalks. I think your note on the wipers is a great idea.
)
This needs to be made a state law I think.
You know, if you make too funny of a sign people will park there just to see what you’ll do.
I would.
Oh I know you Hilde – you totally would.
i like the one with the fine. That guy is ridiculous!
Argh, this annoys me to no end. It happens in Malaysia too often. People double park illegally all the time, but when they do that AND block sidewalk access too, makes me want to cut them.
So you know which sign my vote goes to.
I LOVE that you do this because I DO TOO! I normally write my notes in crayon because then any dampness on the windshield won’t make the ink run. Oh yes – I have given this subject a LOT of thought. I love to have a comrade in this!! Normally my notes would say – “PLEASE do not park in front of my sidewalk. I have small children, and need to unload groceries and you are making this VERY difficult.” Or, something meaner if I was having a particularly bad day. Sometimes the Mac students would park their car in front of my sidewalk and then leave it there for days and days. They usually got the, “You may not know it, but parking your car in front of someone’s sidewalk for days is actually terribly rude. You could consider not doing this again.” type notes. So – if you make a sign for next year, make 2 and I’ll put one up.
So many reasons to love you. So funny that you do this too.lol
I think that my favorite is “My honor student will kick your ass if you park here.” This would totally frustrate me. Living in NYC, I can get a bit crazy about street parking. What drives me crazy is when people leave a huge, awkward gap between their car and the one in front or behind them. I mean come on people. There’s not enough parking for all of us. Why would you do that? If you just parked properly, you would create one additional spot.
OMG! IS that MY car?!? Ha ha…I just about died! I parked across from your house on Friday though, any only for a minute!
Someone has the same car as me! Anyway, I used to FREAK out when people did that to us in St.Paul as well. Our next door neighbors would block OUR sidewalk entry and leave theirs wide open all the time. UGH! Super annoying! I swear they knew it pissed me off so much they just kept doing it!!!
Jesus would SO not park in front of your sidewalk.
He might, however, lead a sheep there and let it loiter.
But, you know, never an SUV that screams “I AM AN ENTITLED ASS AND I HAVE ONLY KNOWN REALLY BAD SEX.”
Jesus would never do that.
Jesus would never do that. Ever. Or so I’ve heard.
I hate those people too!! Imagine a snowbank to the top of the wheel well on that car you have pictured up there. Then imagine you are the ONLY house on the street who has bothered to clear a path through it to the street because your MIL, who visits often, has bad arthritis in her knees and you don’t want her having a hard time getting to your door. Then imagine that all your neighbours park there to use your nicely shoveled path instead of parking in their own driveways IN THE BACK LANE!!!! And your MIL ALWAYS had to walk down to the end of the block and around because she cannot climb the snowbank.
If you cannot tell, this is a hot button issue for me
We have given up and now move our car around to the front when my inlaws are coming so they can park in our driveway and use the nicely cleared sidewalk to our back door.
I like the first sign you posted about your kids riding their bikes down the sidewalk. And also Arnebya’s about the last person parked there is still missing
Ugh that is awful!
Oh, wow, that is just all sorts of wrong! Your signs rock – I can’t come up with anything better!
This? Genius idea. I’d love to put any of those signs up in front of my house too.
You are so right.
The Big J would NEVER do this.
NEVER.
Jesus might park there but only if he was coming to pick you up.
Sorry you’re dealing with this. That’s just rude.
Oh gosh I sure hope now that Jesus NEVER parks in front of my house.
I vote for Jesus, He always knows the way!
Yes he does. Or so I’ve heard.
Totally agree that it’s super rude. What’s so frustrating as well is that it could be a really nice person who did that and just wasn’t thinking at that moment. I’ve done the thing of getting mad at someone and they practically cry about it. Ugh. I’ve also done the stupid parking thing too. Which is all to say I feel your pain. And love that you posted this.
Why would I offer you any sign suggestions when yours are so hilarious.
Calm deep soothing breaths. And then go sign away.
(That is pretty stupid and annoying, by the way – I didn’t get it until I realized it was your access to the street snowbank-free).
I am now going to be more careful about where I park.
“The last person who blocked my sidewalk got hit by a train the next day. Karma’s a bitch, yo.”
Wow, one car-length backwards & he’d be off the shit list! Geesh, I swear people amaze me sometimes. On a side note, I’m so in agreement on Downton Abbey on a continual loop in my house…my MIL (fellow DA addict) just gave me the companion book to the 1st & 2nd series! Swoon! Couldn’t put it down & it has the most luscious, rich photos of the cast, costumes, castle…I highly recommend.
Another reason why I am never going to move back to where there is winter EVER again! The best part about the picture is that there is parking everywhere. He just decided to land perfectly centered in your sidewalk. Love your note and love it even more that you put them on the windshield. Wish I had a clever idea for a sign…
HILARIOUS. I share your indignation! xoxo
I like the “I’ll cut you” one the best.
It makes me fear you, you adorable little thing.
Hee! Totally. Jesus would *never* do this!
My favorite is “park here and I will cut you”! I hate when people block the driveway and I can’t get it out. Sometimes common courtesy is dead.
Now we don’t have snow as high as you do, so I don’t have to deal w/ this shit. However, I am kinda like the doggie do police. I always scoop my dog’s poop and I have been known to watch from the window and go after someone who lets their particularly LARGE dog take a GIANT dump in our yard (where my kids run around and play) and then walk away like nothing happened. WTF??
Do you really leave notes? I LOVE IT!! I like the one about charging $100.