How to Have a Successful Bowling Party…

1.  Rent out one of the oldest alleys in your town.

2. Husband realizes that his old alley doesn’t have computerized scoring. Has no idea how to score bowling. Oh those snobby New Englanders who attended the opera whilst us hearty Midwesterners were either getting lucky in the back of an Oldsmobile or bowling. Or possibly both.

3. Hire two year old to score bowling.

4. Everyone ties with a 59! Prizes for all.

5. Make sure all lanes have bumpers. No gutter-balls increase everyone’s enjoyment. Even mine.

6.  Invite 10 people that you like. And make sure those 10 people like to get a 59 when they bowl.

7. Let the older kids have their own lane and their own score-keeper because they want MORE than a 59. Because they are old and cool. And Midwestern.

8. Bring homemade cupcakes.

9. And enjoy the cards your friends made for you even more than the gifts.

10. Hug your best friend a lot. And congratulate her on her awesome score of 59!

Go forth and bowl my friends.

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at

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  1. says

    Totally going bowling for my next birthday. I hope they put up bumpers because gutter balls take the joy out of everything.

    Happy Birthday, Queen Esther!

  2. says

    Great approach! The bumpers are game day savers, for sure!

    And where we live in NJ, anything homemade is welcomed (since most people buy their baked goods).

    Happy birthday!!

  3. says

    Adults should be able to use bumpers too! It looks like the girls had so much fun. And yummy cupcakes! Did the girls all want their own bowling shoes after the party?

  4. says

    So funny! We went to a bowling alley for a party a few weeks ago and I actually thought to myself “I’m glad this is computerized because I have no idea how to score this stuff.” WOOO! 59!

  5. says

    I’ve messed up scoring when the computer was doing it all, so, 59’s all around! That looks like a wonderful time was had by all. And you’ve sneaked that symbolism in there again, you know: Esther loving the cards more than the gifts. It’s all your doing. Also, I’d like someone to paint my cheek.

  6. says

    You know, I distinctly remember my very first time bowling . . . and it was a 59. And I have no idea if that was because the scorekeeper made it a 59 or if, because, I actually got a 59. I do remember getting a strike on the very last ball I threw.

    Looks like all involved had a great time! Congratulations on a party well-thrown!

    But how did you marry a man who doesn’t know how to properly score bowling?!

  7. says

    I not only love your pictures (seriously will come to PA to take pictures of my sons and possibly me since I am convinced you can make me look skinny?) but I also love the commentary on them, the humor and giggle you bring to all of it.

    Esther and her best friend are the PICTURE of FRIENDSHIP it 🙂

  8. says

    Absolutely adorable and I bet a lot less expensive than the birthday party I’m about to have for my 5 year old. I think you did it better. =)

  9. says

    looks like a great time! my southern-self would be more than happy with a 59 and the inability to bowl a gutter ball.

  10. says

    59? Wow! Pretty sure that is better than I bowl. Which I haven’t done since I was pregnant with my middle child. Can’t bowl again. Ever. Wouldn’t want people to know my big ole 5months preggo belly was not the cause of my bad bowling. Then again, your post makes it look like totally awesome!