I admit I’ve been dreading writing this post as I saw it looming on the horizon a few months ago. I was dreading it almost as much as the first post I wrote four years ago on a sunny day in March of 2008 when I started this blog.
Because what if I wrote that first blog post and it was stupid(and it was – as most first blog posts are) and what if nobody read it and what if I failed.
So what if this post. This 1000th post – and my 500,000th or something word sucked too and nobody read it. Did I fail?
And sometimes I think that I have.
I’ve been blogging longer than many. I haven’t monetized – unless you call the $1 a day I make on my ads monetization. Which I don’t since it doesn’t even cover my daily Starbucks. So I choose not to have a daily Starbucks.
The many posts I’ve submitted for different syndication go unanswered. Unpublished. The freelance writing I pursue is about non-existent.
And I wonder if I’m really ‘just’ a blogger and not a writer.
So I think back to my AP English class in high school and wonder if that is where it all went wrong. I took that class because four years of English were required and because I was smart that was the last and highest English class available. I spent nine months sitting through that class thinking that a hot poker to the eye would be more fun than analyzing the symbolism of Madame Bovary and Lord Jim. I would sit in the back – thank god for the back – and either write love notes to my boyfriends or sneak in Seventeen Magazine and wonder if I could perfect the Cyndi Lauper side teased ponytail while the geeks in the front made notes in their book margins and discussed the latest books IN DEPTH.
Later in life I found out that there were these things called ‘book clubs’ and grown women would sit around and analyze and discuss a book and I would have flashbacks of AP English and politely decline the invites and would just read at home and enjoy the book all by myself. Because to me. Reading is extremely personal. Unless there is a lot of wine of course.
All if this is basically to say nothing.
Except that I rocked the teased side ponytail, read big important books all by myself, and spent way too much time writing love notes to asshole boys while I let the good ones mostly get away.
Which pretty much sums up where I am with my blog here. Four years and 1000 posts later.
If that makes any sense to you.
But even if it doesn’t. That’s okay.
Because it’s mine. And I love it. And one day in the not so distant future I hope that my kids will read it and love it and laugh at silly pictures of themselves and shake their head at their weird mom, and cry when they realized that this whole thing may not be a novel where they will find any symbolism but a portion of my life work that I truly did just for them.
And it’s when I stray from that course or try to be who I am clearly not that the whole thing sucks, isn’t fun and has me traveling on a stupid emotional roller coaster that I created in my own mind.
Which is why most bloggers are insane. Right?
That’s the true lesson isn’t it.
And the rest of you? You are just pawns in my evil plan of world-blog underachievement.
And me – where am I after four years and 1000 very very very important posts?
Well I am just an overdressed mom who is standing in an old and dirty bowling alley basement bathroom in only my stocking feet while I hold the stall door shut for my middle child.
Pretty much right where I should be. And I’m okay with that. Now how’s that for symbolism? Discuss.
******
Fashion anybody? Dammit because it’s mine. Linking up to What I Wore Wednesday.
Black ruffled cardigan – Target last Spring
Black tights – Target
Red cowgirl boots – Lucchese thrifted! (sometimes I sleep with them)
Black coat – local boutique
Black bag – local boutique
Red wrap dress – Matilda Jane clothing(you need it)
*****
And consider this Pouring my Heart Out this week.
Also – thanks for reading my many many words. xo
You are a blogger that I look up to, a writer that I look up to! You posts are honest, witty, poignant, insightful & beautiful–often making me literally laugh out loud or bringing me to tears (the good kind.) I do think you are leaving such a wonderful life work for your children, I love that! One thousand posts, wow! I consider that a fantastic accomplishment! Congratulations & best wishes for many, many more posts!
Thank you dear friend. You know I love you the mostest as you were one of my very first readers? xoxo
Tracy, I love this 1000th post. And (to sound quite like the suck-up I pretend I’m not, but I really am), I am so glad that you share your blog with the world. You know, even though it’s your girls who will really cherish and treasure it. Or at least love that their mom did this. And some day, I hope to be a side-ponytailed, big book reading, rockstar too.
I can not tell you how much I love reading, how much I look forward to new posts. You inspire me. And while I know that is really not why you are doing this (AT ALL), it’s true. And I thank you for that.
Plus, you’re one awesome and hot mama.
Thank you. And you would rock the side pony!
Congratulations on your 1000th post! I think that’s a pretty big accomplishment, Miss Under Achiever.
I decline the book club invites too, thank you very much. I am too busy writing!
I bow down to what you have done. Truly.
I love your honesty and your fashion-style!!
You know what defines a “writer” to me?
It isn’t financial success. You know this from your English classes – many of those writers were not successful or popular.
But they were the shit. What defines a writer to me is someone who writes honestly and wrestles with it heart and soul over and over and over, and won’t let go. You’re a writer.
You brought me to tears with this comment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. xoxo
oh, where do i even begin? i “met” you when charlie was a wee babe. i started reading your blog because some other gals started raving about it on our mutual clothing board. and i was hooked.
you know that i completely look up to you and consider you one of my very favorite WRITERS ever. you inspire me and i hope you never stop writing. because you really are amazing.
and i sooo want to go to blogher this year and meet you!
…in person, that is!
I so appreciate you sticking by me. Thank you. Also YES we need to finally meet. xoxo
Now you’re going to make me see how many posts I’ve written. Each one a gem. Snort.
Also I took AP English and I’m sorry you weren’t in my class because it was the first time I ever used my brain in high school and got excited about learning and my teacher was amazing and at the time married to my sister’s boyfriend’s brother – who was at least 20 years younger than her. An original cougar!
Plus I didn’t have a boyfriend to write notes to so there’s that.
Anyway you know I love you and all your words and I’m so grateful you started your blog because we would never have met otherwise, altho possibly our cosmic connection would have brought us together somehow.
Love you! xo
Yes, this blog brought us together. Marry me? I secretly love the geeks who sat in the front during AP English.
Congratulations on your 1000th post! I try not to get lost in the “what’s my goal” game. I write for me, for my kids, as sort of a memoir for them. I don’t monetize and have no plan to do so. And you know what? I like it that way.
Yes Yes and Yes. Thank you for the reminder. xoxo
Happy 1,000th post and girl, that is MAMMOTH.
And yes, we bloggers are all insane.
I love you and your blog. xoxo
Thank you dear friend. You would think that my fingers would hurt by this point.
Congratulations on your 1,000th post!! That’s huge. While I’ve only recently started reading your blog, I love it. I love the stories that you share – they are real and authentic and honest and something that I can connect with. I’ve only recently entered into the crazy blogging world (and it is crazy!) and I’m inspired by your blog. Thanks for sharing with us.
I think that’s what I forgot to mention in this post – that the connection I’ve made are far more valuable than any money I produce from here. xoxo
So, uh… this is one of the best 1,000th posts I’ve EVER read. Why? Because it’s real and raw.
You ROCKED IT!
Visiting from Shell’s.
xo!
Thank you. I know – no fabulous giveaways. I almost thought that it would be so disappointing but I’m glad I stayed true. xoxo
Happy 1,000th post. I am so glad that you are a blogging underachiever because it gives me a real attainable goal!!!
Be what you need to be not who THEY want you to be!
LOL – so true. LOVE your goal.
But, DAMN, you are a style maven!!
And that’s all that matters.
Right? I mean I have red cowgirl boots so eff all the rest of it. xo
That number… 1000th completely blew me away. I mean, 1000 by any means is not a small number. It’s a great milestone for struggling bloggers such as myself. A faraway dream somewhere over the rainbow kind of dream
I have not known you for very long, so that means I’ve probably started reading your 950th post onwards. But this I must say: you write brilliantly, and that’s the truth. I know many bloggers have been known to write zealously in the beginning, only to get burnt out soon after. You, Tracy, writes interesting, insightful, funny, and creative topics CONSISTENTLY. That is something that I aspire to achieve.
Congratulations on reaching a great milestone on your blogging adventure!
Thank you sweet one. You pretty made made my year with this kind comment. xo
The red boots are awesome.
This post is perfect.
my fave is ” You are just pawns in my evil plan of world-blog underachievement.” that brings a smile!
Oh and the where I am now….classic!
Just keeping it real..because so much of it lately doesn’t seem to be…so thank you so much for this. xoxo
I love this post even more than those boots. Happy 1000th, so glad we’ve connected in our underachievement. xo
But the boots are damn fine…however I’d sell them in a minute if it meant you’d be my friend forever.
I think AP English and Book Clubs stifle your voice and that’s why you haven’t enjoyed them.
Keep writing! Write for you, hit publish for us.
I may just steal and use this comment as my own. Kidding. But love it.
great job and congrats on #1000! You are both an amazing blogger and writer; I truly admire you. You also look fabulous!
Tracy,
This post spoke to me in so many ways. I have been struggling with the blogging thing for a while. I feel like there should be more, I should be more but that is not really what it’s about. I like blogging because, it is mine, it’s a chance to do something that I love to do… write stories. Stories that one day, I hope my children will read and learn who their mother was not just as a mother was as a woman.
Thank you for reminding me of that.
I love your blog because it is real. You show us ‘you’ everyday. Thank you for that. xo
Tracy, your blog is so awesome. I enjoy reading every part of it. Your humor, honesty, and love of wine. Oh, by the way, we have a “book club” that we don’t read books at….we just drink wine. We call it “book club” for no other reason that we don’t want to read books. Well, once we read “The Pioneer Woman” cookbook. Anyway, thanks for all you do and Congrats on the 1000th!
I happen to be a sewing blogger but the name of your blog caught my eye on another blog(can’t think who right now) and it made me laugh. I used to tell the people at work I was celibate and my boss used to say, “Not with three kids”. So, your “Sellibit Mum” title brings back memories. Enjoyed reading your 1000th. You inspired me to keep writing even though no one reads my blogs!!!
After 3 kids..believe me I am quite celibate. xoxo
I need an invite to that book club.
You are a writer! You have an awesome blog. You are an amazing photographer and you have loyal readers who look forward to your posts. Oh and you have a great sense of style. I usually just wear pjs.
PJ’s. I die. lol Thank you. xo
Your blog is how I start my day, and I pretend that we are sharing a cup of coffee and catching up on our lives. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us, and congrats on hitting that publish key 1000 times! You rock!
I owe it all to you. Too bad I’m not rich enough to actually pay you a royalty. xo
I feel the same way about my blog. I blog for myself and if people enjoy it, that’s great, if not there’s no love lost. I’m of the mindset that you had better write something down no matter who you are because when you’re gone you’ll want to leave something of yourself behind. People live on in stories and memories of family and friends. And I want to live as long as possible.
Such a perfect perspective. I need to remind myself of this. xo
Clink! Cheers to you, your accomplishments, and doing things your way! Quite the admirable quality to hang on to all these years later.
Congrats, Tracy! I had no idea there are YEARS of funny blog posts I have missed!!! XO
You are fabulous as usual. Keep your fashion ideas coming; I live in a cave or something.
I know – four long years. Anytime you want to fall asleep just browse the old archives. xoxo
So you’re in the Dumper! Grow a pair, Woman!
Seriously, you have a fabulous blog that many folks enjoy and you do a wonderful job of capturing the moments in your kid’s lives. Everyone should be jealous! In fact, you should just imagine that everyone is and you’ll feel much happier about where your blog is. That’s how I get by!
Congratulations on your 1000 post and thank you for being my Friend.
m.
I know. But I don’t want balls.
Someday I’ll be cool like you. But I’ll be without balls of course.
I think I have PMS.
love you darling!
And you know you’re fabulous. I don’t even have to say it. But I will. You are fabulissimo!
There are days I wonder what I’m doing with my blog. What I hope to accomplish. I get stressed when I think about it and don’t know the answer.
I’m trying to stay focused on the fact that it is my journal, my therapy, me getting out whatever is on my mind. And not worry so much about the rest of it.
No shoes in the bathroom, though? I cringed a little.
I know right – should I thought the tights away? I’m thinking about it. lol
Love you so much. xoxo
So funny!!! I love your “take” on celebrating your 1000th post. I’ve only recently started reading your blog and I love your wit. So cheers to 1000 and cheers to a 1000 more. Who gives a damn if you’re getting paid for the writing.
Who knows, maybe one day you will be famous.
Thank you. World blog domination even without pay would be pretty fun, right? xo
I’m so glad you came to a happy place with this. I think you’re totally on the right track. Is there more to be achieved? Sure. There is always is, whether you’re the biggest blogger there is or not. And personally I like real people like you better.
Love those pictures. They say so much.
Thank you. It’s the real ones where I make a connection too. Always. xo
There be symbolism all up and through here, yo! You’re a writer with a blog, a blogger who writes. Nuff said.
I know – can you believe the symbolism. I need to send this to my AP English teacher. However, she is probably dead.
Congratulations on your 1000 post! That’s a huge milestone. Add up all those words you’ve written and there’s your proof that you truly are a writer!
Oh, I’m happy to be a pawn in your blogging game.
May there be 1,000,000 more posts . . . and may you always the the sense of humor that makes you, you.
Oh I love that you agree to be my pawn.
I don’t think there is anything that I can say that hasn’t been said by someone else. And better than I can manage to say it
So I will just say this, I love reading your words. They have made me smile. The have made me think. And they always make me want to come back again. Congratulations on you 1000th post. May there be thousands more!
Thank you for coming back because I do know that some posts really, really suck. xo
Wow! 1000 posts! Congratulations! Although I rarely comment, I always enjoy reading your posts, and I have a feeling that one day your girls will too. And really, that’s the most important thing, isn’t it?
Wearing the same Target ruffle sweater today in celebration of 1000 posts (I need the dress & boots…
)
I soooooo admire your dedication to your blog and your girls will cherish it … love seeing that glimpse of my sweet, hilarious, side pony rocking friend…
XOXO,
Stace
Pretty sure we should rock the side ponytails together very soon. xo
I love your blog! I don’t comment as often as I should but I assure you I’ve read every.single.one of your 1000 posts. You’re bookmarked on my computer, my laptop and my iPhone (is that borderline stalker-ish of me?) and are always the first blog I check out every day. I envy your fashion and you almost always leave me laughing – except those few darn sad posts that leave me in tears. You have a gift with words, so please keep blogging so I continue to have an excuse to peek into your daily life, envy your pretty clothes and put off doing the work I’m actually supposed to be doing while sitting here at the computer.
Thank you for coming along for the ride these long four years. I feel like I should send you a pony or something. xoxo
There are only a few amazing blogger out there and you are, most certainly, one of them.
Happy 1000th post.
Thank you. Kind words that I truly cherish. xoxo
Congratulations on your 1000th post! That’s quite an achievement!
Sometimes, I think being surrounded by such productive, creative forces of nature like the bloggers we both know can make someone who “just blogs” feel small in comparison. But there’s nothing wrong with just blogging for the sake of giving friends a smile or a fashion tip or a flat-out laugh at a crafting video.
I would probably burn the tights, though.
I know. Washing them cannot remove all that can it.
Also, I do feel bad that I’m clearly not one of the such productive, creative forces of nature like the bloggers we both know.
I wish that I didn’t feel that way.
I’m okay with being just a blogger. Most days.
And God, AP English was so boring. I really didn’t care what the blue scarf symbolized. Why couldn’t it just be a blue scarf?
I know – I remember wanting to yell “it’s just a damn scarf!” really.
I believe by the time I got to College Lit (you know, because in College it is “Lit” not English) I actually said, “what difference does it make? It is just a scarf.” Thank God I had a young-ish professor.
Did you hear?
I read Tracy Morrison.
She’s the “Mom Blogger” bomb!
I love her writing.
Could you let her know for me.
She’s awfully famous and I’m not sure if she gets these notes.
Dana
I’ll pass along the message. She’s quite dense lately. I’m worried about her. I know she loves you though. xoxo
I like you. I am 26 and I don’t have a professional job because hello bad economy and I don’t have a husband or kids at this stage in my life because hello feminism and I don’t write in my own blog anymore because hello lazy. But there is something about you that makes me read your blog. Your life story and your beautiful photographs and your humor all inspire me. I’m not a mommy blogger, I’m not your peer, but your blog makes me happy. So I guess I’m saying thanks. And happy 1000th post!!
I’m so glad you are still sticking it out with me. It means more than you could possibly know. xo
Congrats on your 1000th post! Wow! I was that girl in the front row of AP English and ended up majoring in English and never desired to be a writer. Yet today I find myself dwelling on mediocrity (mine), and then I found your post via PYHO and thank you!! Thank you for reminding me why I blog.
Here’s to a thousand more posts!
Thank you. Now to check out your writing…because I admire the people who paid attention in class. Truly. xo
But at least you look good.
No seriously I always love reading your blog. And obviously so do many other people, which means you’re writing something really worth while. Even if it’s about holding bathroom stall doors closed while taking pictures at the bowling alley.
Still trying to recall why I had my camera with me.
But damn at least I do still look okay for 43. Whew. xoxo
You’re not “just” anything, lady. You’re a fabulous specimen of a woman. Happy 1000.
Kisses to you my MommaKiss. xoxo
I just discovered you, and am so glad I did! I love your voice! And screw being famous, I’m just glad to “be”!
Tracy – I love you. I love your style (fashion and blogging). I always, always, always, am happy when I’ve come to your special space to read because you make me smile (or get teary) with your honesty every time.
So thank you for blogging for 4 years. Because I wouldn’t have met you if you’d stopped 2 or 3 years ago.
I’m starting to think that payment in smiles is more than anything I could’ve ever asked for . xoxo
I love your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you for saying what so many others are often afraid to say. I know I’m not the only one who can relate.
Thank you. I felt this huge pressure like I was suppose to have this big ‘wow’ post or giveaway a car or be like ‘look what I’VE done with all my experience’ – but none of those things sound a thing like me. xoxo
You are a writer because you speak the truth, friend. And, as Sugar would say, you write like a motherf*cker!
Congratulations! Here’s to another 1,000!
OMG do you know how many wrinkles I will have 1000 more posts from now. xo
I feel like I’m supposed to say something wise here, and if it’s not then I’ll be judged for sounding like a dumbass
But I love you, and if that’s not reason enough to continue blogging then I don’t know what is…
and hey, look at how awesome PSS is…you’re rocking this whole blogging thing
You would never be a dumbass and more people really need to use the word dumbass. I love you too. Tons. xo
Happy 1000th, you! That’s a HUGE accomplishment!
(As is being true to you. And that, you do perfectly. Just saying.)