Esther came into this world very suddenly. The last thing I remember before her birth was yelling at my doctor that I WILL HAVE THIS CHILD NATURALLY and my doctor yelling back to me IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A CHILD AT ALL YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME.
And with a quick IV and a scalpel..voila.
Thank god my doctor was a bitch, because I needed that.
I remember being worried that Esther would be a colicky baby like her sister because of her dramatic entrance into this world.
I could not have been more wrong.
I have little memory of Esther’s baby years because all I recall is her sitting there, somewhere, anywhere. Happy. Silent. Content.
There was no need for a sling, carrier, backpack, swing, bouncer. This baby just sat there. Laid there. Happy. Quiet.
An amazing trait for a baby.
And a toddler.
And a preschooler.
Yet a difficult trait when they become emotionally aware and present and worried when they reach grade-school and you’ve become so used to them being your easy one for so long.
That sometimes I worry that I’m not doing right by Esther because she needs me now yet I’m so used to her needing really nothing except a snuggle and some fruit while I run around being everything to her sisters.
And I see this girl. This middle child. This gorgeous girl who still asks for so little. And I worry that she will feel like she did feel less. Got less.
Which is hard because I want so much for her. And I hope she knows that she is a miracle. And a beauty. And the most magical thing in my life.
The girl who dreams of unicorns.
The depth of her beauty and feeling is something I will never understand and sometimes I feel like I need to push her to do more because everyone should know the wonder of my Esther.
And deeply all I wish for my middle child is that ALL of her dreams come true and damned if I won’t spend the rest of my life trying to make sure that happens. Because this child deserves more than complete happiness.
Happy Birthday to my sweet Esther.
Happy birthday Queen Esther!!!!
*sniff* Such a gorgeous, loving post. She will be all and more that you hope for her, she’s had a great start in life.
“Everyone should know the wonder of my Esther” – beautiful. What is it about these middle children? God must send them with a special seed of contentment and happiness. My Sam asks for so little too. Such happy photos. Love your heart Tracy.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!
This world needs more just like you.
Your Mom’s Friend, m.
My youngest turned 8 on Saturday and she is the easy child out of our two girls. It’s true sometimes when she actually needs me I am shocked. She has just always been so content and wants to give to everyone else that I forget she needs things too.
All of your girls are so beautiful. I love that you put the energy into their clothes like I do with mine. I laughed when I saw your tweet about the Justice catalog yesterday. We got ours too and my girls were all like…oooh and I was all like….that is bright!!
Oh, I posted about my youngest’s party on my post yesterday. In it I said one of her favorite parts of the party…her friends saying nice things about her before she made her wish. It really was the sweetest!
Happy Birthday to Esther!!
What absolutely gorgeous photos of your beautiful girl. Seven is a wonderful age. Happy Birthday.
Happy 7th birthday Esther! I forget how close in birthday’s our kiddos are. Natalie turned 9 on November 19 (and Eloise is early December, right?) and Andrew will be 7 on March 9. How does 7 seem so grown up? At least you have a baby to snuggle…..he *is* my baby and I’m hesitant to let him turn 7. Maybe he’ll agree to go backward and be 5 again?
Oh, happy birthday, Esther!
The love you have for her is so apparent and moving. For me, my middle girl is much like Esther: contemplative, quiet, easy going. I forget that she needs me b/c oftentimes she doesn’t appear to. She does; she’s just not vocal. I try to stay tuned in to her and you are so right: I want so much for her that “damned if I won’t spend the rest of my life trying to make sure that happens.”
I believe I may have actually let these words come out of my mouth to Karly:
“You can’t lose it right now and be cranky and whiny because I have no more patience left in my body; your brother sucked out all of it twelve years ago…”
Yes.
I know of what you write here.
And you’re doing just fine, mama.
(I’m not, but you are. I’m sure of it.)
Happy birthday to sweet Esther and cheers to more than complete happiness for our wonderful girls.
Much, much more.
Happy Birthday, Esther!
I worried about Leila when she was just born . . . she was so easy-going. Really, until her first birthday, she was an independent soul. If should could be by herself, she wanted to be by herself. And, since CJ was far from independent, long periods of time would go where I’d practically ignore her, because she was content, while CJ needed “round the clock parenting.” (My memories tell me that hours passed when practical knowledge tells me that the longest I probably ever went before checking on her was 20-25 minutes if she wasn’t napping)
But, I don’t know if it’s because of a more active competition for parenting attention, or if there was just something dormant in her personality, but those days are long gone.
So sweet. She will be all that hope for and more. You’re an amazing mother and that will shine through in your children.
She is so cute Tracy! My middle child, Buzz, is kind of the same way. He’s the most quiet of my three. He prefers to play by himself. I worry about him the most.
Love Your Utah Friend,
Tina
I remember when the nursery school teacher told me my daughter was “slow to warm.” I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Then she added, “she’s an observer.” Much like your Esther, she was the best baby, toddler, and now ten year old. My best friend would plead with me to put her in a stroller when we met her and her kid in a public place. My daughter always stayed at my side and her kid was everywhere unless she did a “Hannibal Lecter” strap job on him in the stroller. Anyway, she takes it all in and sometimes the gems she reveals are so worth the wait. Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter. And thanks.
Your words about and for her are simply stunning. Just like she is. Happy Birthday Esther!!
What a stunning ode to your beautiful middle child.
(I know this need and want and fear of being everything to everyone, especially our “easiests.”)
I love your heartfelt posts, but you already knew that.
She is such a sweet girl and you are such an awesome mommy.
Hope she has the best birthday.
Happy Birthday Esther!
I wish I had a mellow child…
must go back and read now
Okay first have to say loving all the pictures! What a fun shoot! The missing tooth is such a fun stage to capture.
And what a beautiful post. I hope she has a wonderful birthday
Happy Birthday!!! Love the outfit and balloons! Any birthday party plans? If so, can’t wait to see some pics.
Happy Happy Birthday Esther!
That was a truly lovely post. And she looked gorgeous in her photos with her pretty purple balloons!
Happy Birthday to your baby. The pictures are beautiful! she looks a lot like you.
I have one just like Esther…the middle of three daughters. She is currently in her second year of law school. I’m confident the world will stand up and know your Esther some day too. Such gorgeous sweet photos of your queen. Happy Birthday Miss Esther!
Oh my gosh, there is nothing more Esther could need than you as her mom. Beautiful. Happy Birthday Esther.
Aw, Happy birthday to Esther!
You are perfect for each other, my friend.
xo
A very Happy Birthday to the lovely (and so cute toothless!) Esther! Different children require different things, & I am sure that you are providing Esther with what she needs, the same way you are for her sisters.
Happy Birthday Esther!!!
Amen! And Happy Birthday Esther (with a sweet name to match her sweet face).
Beautiful, beautiful Esther! You are the perfect mama for such a special person. XO
Those quiet ones who observe and watch, figure it out before the rest of us. They will find their way, and learn from the mistakes the rest of us make. Because they truly see. Esther you were the perfect gift seven years ago. You were just what your mom needed, and continues to need. Us crazy moms. We know special when we see it. And when it comes wrapped in purple? Even better. Happy Birthday Esther! Have a great year.
We can’t wait to read all about it.
Dana