This dream woke me up last night. I wasn’t panicked as I felt I should be, but rather slightly at peace.
********
Eloise insisted on taking the flight before us with her friends. I watched her board the plane as I held tightly to Esther and Astrid’s hands. I kept waiting for her to turn at the door just to catch a glimpse of my eye before she boarded. She never did.
Jed stood near the window and kept repeating “she’s only nine and shouldn’t fly alone.” I kept reminding him that I took my first flight alone at nine and was just fine. Jed never turned to further discuss it but just kept repeating those words…”she’s only nine. she’s only nine.”
I never let go of Esther and Astrid’s hand as we watched in slow motion the plane doors shut. The plane back away. The plane take off.
Then.
The plane spun out of control and crashed upside down right in front of us. Right at the window.
But.
We were now looking into the ocean. The airport window was now like a huge aquarium and we watched through the glass as the plane rested on the sandy sea floor.
We never moved.
I held tightly to hands. Jed kept repeating his words. “she’s only nine.”
Eloise was the first to emerge from the plane. She turned and put her hands back in the plane door and grabbed both her friend’s hands and pulled them out.
She smiled as she pushed off from the bottom of the sea and swam to the surface.
She walked into the airport and towards me. Dry suddenly and giggling with her friends.
I didn’t rush towards her nor even move.
I held her sister’s hands. Jed still stood at the glass.
Eloise walked past me back to the boarding gate for the next flight but paused briefly and met my eyes and smiled.
********
beautiful.
All kids could be so lucky to have a Mama like you -
This one gave me chills.
{Your soul is so beautiful}
xo
You are teaching her to swim in so many ways. I have goosebumps.
Haunting. But beautiful. Even in your subconscious she is the child you always describe, caring enough to turn for her friends, ever so slightly stepping away from you, but always still right there.
That’s too scary for me. I can’t handle dreams like that.
Now if I have one like that tonight, I’m coming for you!
m.
Okay, this freaked me out.
But you taught her well. xo
Wowsa.
yeah. i said it.
No words except – ohmugod, that was a brilliant writing.
That is a crazy dream! They do want to be big so soon.
ahhhhh…the dream of giving wings:)
Dreams are magical going from what could be disaster to beauty! Amazing aren’t they.
Beautifully written.
I’m struck by the metaphor of learning to keep going and “swim away” from any mishaps, or even disasters, that may occur in life. And you were the one who “taught her to swim.” Beautiful.
What a crazy dream. Its amazing the things we dream and what they mean to us in our waking hours.
I’m so glad that dream had a happy ending. Letting go. Isn’t that what parenthood is supposedly all about?
Wow, great writing! Very interesting dream! To me it sounds like your mind orchestrated a do-over…so the second time she would meet your eyes before boarding the plane & all would be right with the world…thus the sense of peace, not panic, upon awaking?? Just my 2 cents!
Oh goosebumps, for the dream and the amazing writing.
Oh, this gave me chills.
I remember, on a vacation to Greece, group of kids . . . they must have been very well-to-do, on some sort of school-function trip. I never quite was able to figure out the entire deal . . . but they were all well-to-do, and all somewhere, I’d guess, between 10 & 17 (this is before I had kids, so I had absolutely no ability to judge ages).
I remember there was a leader . . . a pretty-ish girl who absolutely ruled the group. What she said, the group did, be it excursions or what to wear for dinner. She had the air of a future senator (and, perhaps, a real bitch), and acted far beyond her age.
On the trip back home, one of the chaperones came up to us and asked us to just keep an eye out for her. Whatever school/group/whatever they were all traveling from was on the west coast of the US, and she was the only one traveling back to the east coast, so she’d be traveling alone.
This girl was “in charge” while on the boat . . . part of me wanted her to shut up, and part of me envied that there was no way that I could have been so confident at her age . . . yet, when she was traveling, alone, she looked & acted like a little girl . . . it’s really amazing how travelling alone exposes vulnerability.