I took my kids out to the woods on Sunday to take Holiday pictures. I was so proud of myself this year since we were doing this so early this year, it was still warm out AND I took them to nature instead of the highway overpass that I took them to last year..you remember that don’t you?
So after many years of experience – I have my top 10 tips for you to have a successful do-it-yourself Holiday photo shoot.
1. Purchase new wool sweaters for your kids. THEY ITCH. and THEY BITCH through the whole session.
2. Take your children to the woods and listen to their screams because you make a joke about bears being nearby.
3. Take your children to a place where they just happen to see a friend and then eldest child is visibly humiliated that she is “dressed up” and “with her mother” and “posing for pictures with her sister”
4. Serve them chocolate for breakfast so they are bouncing off the walls and then CRASH HARD.
5. Forget any and all candy bribes to try to get just “one more shot and then we get a lollipop” so they start running away almost immediately.
6. Yell at your kids once they start the “she’s touching me” crap after you’ve told them to move closer together and act like you like each other.
7. Make sure the shoot starts infringing on lunch and/or nap time because nothing says “perfect shot” like a toddler throwing herself upon the ground.
8. Have toddler, upon throwing herself upon the ground, get a big gash in her cheek from the brush. In the woods, Where the bears live. Blood. Blood is perfect for a photo shoot.
9. New shoes! Love the comfort of new shoes for a photo shoot. Bitching of sore feet from new shoes only starts about 3 minutes into the shoot.
10. Take your kids holiday photos yourself. Don’t bother hiring this out because nothing says holiday cheer when you are yelling to your child “just effing smile NOW or you are going to have to move out so I can find a new family for the card this year!!”