twin terrors cats turned one on Monday. I am not sure if normal people have parties for their cats, but moms who love wine of small children LOVE to throw lavish parties for the felines in their life. Our Donut cat’s birthday is a prime example of feline birthday merriment.
Turns out … wait for it….. cats do not care about their birthday! Or a party! Turns out… wait for it… it is only their people that care about this stuff.
Because cats lack basic participation skills!
Why a cat is a terrible birthday party guest...
1. They don’t like chocolate or cake or candy and people do not like cat food so because the party is really for us – they get nothing to eat!
2. They don’t play well with friends. The entire party was basically a WWF match gone wild. OMG are all boys like this?
3. They don’t share their toys. Cats are selfish assholes. Especially male cats.
4. Cats won’t wear party hats. Well if you can find party hats in their size as no way I am making special party hats for small cat heads after I slaved all night making cupcakes.
5. Cats do not know how to sing happy birthday OR CLAP to appreciate your rendition. Cats are basically not trainable.
6. Cats won’t sit still in a chair while you sing to them or serve cupcakes. Nor do they really care.
7. Cats could care less that you make cupcakes that exactly resemble them as they are cats. Refer back to #3 – second part.
8. Cats do not have the ability to blow out candles.
9. Cats will not sit still for the camera. Nor can they smile. Or laugh. Or care. At all.
10. Since cats do not have opposable thumbs, they cannot open their own presents.
So do you celebrate your feline’s birthdays? Or do I just need more hobbies? Knitting anyone?
Prepare your choice of cupcake – we did chocolate
Frosting of your choice – depends on the color of your cat – we did chocolate
Dip the frosted cupcake in sprinkles – choose based on your cat color
Use sliced gumdrops for eyes
Licorice for whiskers
Chocolate bars cut into triangles for ears
eat and enjoy
Cat Cupcake inspiration from here
Also, do you love cats? Do you want to read about how a family got their cat? Don’t you really want a cat? Go check-out Marinka’s newly published book, Wanted Cat and throw some support her way.