Our twin terrors cats turned one on Monday. I am not sure if normal people have parties for their cats, but moms who love wine of small children LOVE to throw lavish parties for the felines in their life. Our Donut cat’s birthday is a prime example of feline birthday merriment.
Turns out … wait for it….. cats do not care about their birthday! Or a party! Turns out… wait for it… it is only their people that care about this stuff.
Because cats lack basic participation skills!
Why a cat is a terrible birthday party guest...
1. They don’t like chocolate or cake or candy and people do not like cat food so because the party is really for us – they get nothing to eat!
2. They don’t play well with friends. The entire party was basically a WWF match gone wild. OMG are all boys like this?
3. They don’t share their toys. Cats are selfish assholes. Especially male cats.
4. Cats won’t wear party hats. Well if you can find party hats in their size as no way I am making special party hats for small cat heads after I slaved all night making cupcakes.
5. Cats do not know how to sing happy birthday OR CLAP to appreciate your rendition. Cats are basically not trainable.
6. Cats won’t sit still in a chair while you sing to them or serve cupcakes. Nor do they really care.
7. Cats could care less that you make cupcakes that exactly resemble them as they are cats. Refer back to #3 – second part.
(cat cupcake recipe below)
8. Cats do not have the ability to blow out candles.
9. Cats will not sit still for the camera. Nor can they smile. Or laugh. Or care. At all.
10. Since cats do not have opposable thumbs, they cannot open their own presents.
So do you celebrate your feline’s birthdays? Or do I just need more hobbies? Knitting anyone?
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Cat Cupcakes
Prepare your choice of cupcake – we did chocolate
Frosting of your choice – depends on the color of your cat – we did chocolate
Dip the frosted cupcake in sprinkles – choose based on your cat color
Use sliced gumdrops for eyes
Licorice for whiskers
Chocolate bars cut into triangles for ears
eat and enjoy
Cat Cupcake inspiration from here
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Also, do you love cats? Do you want to read about how a family got their cat? Don’t you really want a cat? Go check-out Marinka’s newly published book, Wanted Cat and throw some support her way.
Love. This. Post. Love it. Adore it. Cat fan here,b ut yeah, never done this much. You are totally making me look bad here. I may be killed in my sleep if they see this post!
Please don’t blame me. I wish I could control cat behavior.
I coulda told you all this and save you the trouble.
Love the cupcakes though! ;P
It was totally, kind of worth it to eat the cupcakes.
Awwww, you’re making me miss my cats. Amazing cupcakes! I think you should keep it up…they are members of the family afterall, however ungrateful!
LOL – true and it’s always fun to find more reasons to celebrate.
That’s the best cat birthday bash I’ve ever seen! Oh wait, that’s the only cat birthday bash I’ve ever seen!
But seriously, those cupcakes are awesome! I love that you did this for your girls, um, cats.
We do not celebrate our cat’s birthday officially, but it is the same day as our 3rd child’s birthday (exactly 10 years apart), so we do generally have a party on the cat’s birthday…but I don’t think we have ever actually invited the cat. My bad!
Please try to put a party hat on your cat next year. Pretty please.
You kill me. Seriously. Sitting here with tears in my eyes!
And yes, we do celebrate our dog’s birthday — he turned 13 this past August. He cares more than cats, in that he LOVES to rip open presents and it’s the one holiday in the year when the presents are for him. And he loves to eat the treats we get him.
Dogs are so agreeable. Maybe that is why I like cats better..I am so much more like them.
I’ve never celebrated my cats’ birthdays, but maybe the next pet will get a special celebration. Awesome job on those cupcakes…
Oh, my funny friend!
Love the photos and oh my- those cupcakes are phenomenal!
I’m so not a pet person, but we celebrated our puppy’s birthday big time.
Crazy dog lady?
Oy.
Yes – I will call you the crazy old dog lady.
The fact that there are hats on the cats…twice, is hilarious. Happy Kitty Birthday to the worst party guests ever.
I had to wait until they were sleeping. Please don’t tell them that I did it.
They’ve grown up to be such handsome guys! But yeah, you’re right; cats are unappreciative, selfish and clueless. Still… we adore them.
Love this post. I laughed through the whole thing, nodding ‘Uh huh’
It is because they are so soft and warm? I haven’t quite figured it out?
Don’t have cats, but we do celebrate dog birthdays. And really, they care just as little.
Oh my Tracy, I’m sending wine and yarn (for knitting not for a cat birthday present). Super cute cupcakes, pinning them.
Oh they would love yarn. and wine maybe. Thank you for the pin!
Also, you really need a cat.
Wow–you throw a better party for you cats than I do for my kid! The cupcakes are adorable though. I did treat my kitties rather lavishly BK (before kid)– they had presents under the Christmas tree and got souvenirs when I traveled, but now–nope. But I only have one now, and she’s rather evil. Cheers to you and your furry kids.
Oh I love evil cats. I miss my evil cat.
I loved my cats but I never threw them a birthday party. Bet your kids had a blast though
“Because cats lack basic participation skills!”?
That is just awesome.
You have me all giggly. What a lovely way to start the day.
Love your cats…love you!
They totally do lack that, yes? My kids were so mad at the cats for not paying attention to their party.
I want you to come and throw ME a birthday party. I have thumbs and will show lots & lots of appreciation. Also? Dylan’s favorite thing is to sing Happy Birthday and clap, so we’ll do it many times
THUMBS! Gosh you totally in! Astrid also loves to sing that song. See – total marriage material.
You’re such an awesome cat mom. I mean, er, cat owner. The cat cupcakes just killed me, they’re so cool.
I suck, my son doesn’t even get a birthday party.
so so cute. And since Mary is on my lap, we now have to make kitty cupcakes today.
love you!
I challenge you to chicken cupcakes.
Can’t believe you would throw them a party after what they do to you at 5am. That’s dedication mom, dedication! You MUST love your cats, A LOT!… or maybe just your kids.. or the excuse to drink some wine. Whatever it may be, the cupcakes are freaking adorable! ADORABLE! I wish I had skillz like that!
ahh.. you’re fine! We have a party for our dog… she doesn’t sit for pictures, clap, sing along, or share well either. She does however like the cake!
I think you got their eye colors wrong!
I know – my 8 year old corrected me. GAH! Now I have to bake the damn things again.
Happy, happy giggles.
If there’s wine, do you really need an excuse to have a party?
I’m actively looking at my hand, with some relatively fresh cuts on it (because my little Pip (who’s not so little) didn’t appreciate the scratching behind the ear that she normally likes), realizing that I may very well be dead if I tried to put a party hat on the cat.
I would sedate the cat before trying to hat. At least I’ve heard that is the best method.
You’re so silly, I think I had a birthday for my dog once, when we didn’t have kids yet. Though it does seem like a fun affair for the family. Perhaps we’ll celebrate the dog’s birthdays this year… maybe.
You will have to share the fancy dog cupcakes!
Wait a minute.
You mean at a cat birthday party I get all the cupcakes, chocolate, cone hats and wine?
(I added that last one based on assumption.)
Let the cat keep his presents.
(Especially if it’s cat nip.)
I’m in!
Happy birthday, Donut. You’re very pretty.
And possibly an asshole.
YES – best part of a cat birthday is it’s basically just for you!
Yeah, I think you need more children to occupy your time.
But really, as far as pussy parties go, that was a good one!
m.
Har har – yes – at least 6 more kids.
I love this! I have one cat, but he doesn’t get a birthday party. He does get cat-nip from time to time. The photo of the cats wrestling is hilarious. And the cupcakes are amazing. (P.S. Have you ever thought of submitting something like this to Cat Fancy? You should.)
Is that a magazine. OMG I need that magazine.
I must say that last picture of the cat is pretty cute. I think he thoroughly enjoyed his party
Y.o.u. c.r.a.c.k. m.e. u.p. Laughed out loud.
Thank you,
Dana
Does blogher accept humour entries. This one is a winner!
Dana
I think BlogHer might be afraid of crazy old cat ladies.
You threw a birthday party for your cats. And made them wear party hats. I can’t decide if this is terrible awesome or awesomely terrible.
Those hats are adorable!
And yes, all boys are like that. You should come spend an afternoon at my house. Or maybe I could FedEx my boys to you for a little bit.
Dear Tracy,
I am a lover of all things cupcakes, and yours are absolutely adorable. So sorry your hard work was not appreciated by the guests of honor, but looks like the girls enjoyed it. You crack me up!
Love,
Your Utah Friend,
Tina
If I were a cat, I would have done a much better job at getting into that totally awesome party. Especially the cupcakes. Catcakes.
Thanks for popping by the Fibro.
You are so adorable!!
I love the pictures of the cats in too big party hats!!
And the cupcakes for selfish cats?
I died!
OMG, this is unbelievably hysterical.
love!
LOVE this post! Before I had kids, I used to throw my cats a party, but they paled in comparison to yours. I love the cat in the party hat. The cupcakes are really cute too. Now I want to throw a cat party-but it would probably be chaotic because I have 7 cats (yeah, I’m a crazy cat lady) and 2 of those cats are feral and live in my backyard. Anyway, awesome post. Thanks for the laugh.
Oh my god. That was hilarious. Brilliant.
Hilarious. Now I want a hat for my cat.
You know who needs to see this perfect post?
Yup.
Our lady in NYC.
Great post.
Now I **wheeze*** need my inhaler after all the cat exposure…
[...] This week’s recipient is Tracy from Sellabit Mum for her hilarious post Why Cats Make Terrible Birthday Party Guests. [...]
This is hilarious!!
My cats; I will not reward bad behavior to cats that will not clean up their toys and think it’s funny to leave me an occasional pile of throwup.
I have to tell the secret to getting cats to open their presents….catnip! When I was the young girl with cats, I bought (or made my parents buy) them presents at Christmas. We would wrap them and put them under the tree (the presents, not the cats). Every night, they would tear the paper on their presents and we would find them scattered all over the living room. Of course, cat’s won’t perform for an audience, so you have to set their presents out at night or while you leave the house. I also used to dress one of my cats in onesies with the crotch open for her tail to stick out…funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. She would freeze and fall over like she was paralyzed. Looking back it may have been slightly cruel, but she was never injured, so I’m okay with it.
And once again, huge responses to a cat post. Maybe you should just throw in a cat reference every day?
Personally, I think we should come up with a reason to celebrate and eat cupcakes at least once a month. And wine.
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