Eloise asked for her own room last year. Last year she also started having sleepovers more. Turns out ALL of her friends have their own room. Turns out ALL of her friends also ONLY have brothers. When Eloise has a sleepover here(which is so far rare..because I’m mean) we just kick Esther out into Astrid’s room to sleep on the floor or to our room or I’ve even had a sleep-over with her in the living room and we stay up late watching really bad slap-stick movies. I know that within the year Esther will also request a sleepover with a friend.
So far my best way to avoid sleepovers at my home is to serve peas instead of pizza, make them watch Disney princess movies instead of i-Carly, and make them go to bed by 7:45. Win/Win I believe yes!? This stellar parenting is what I hoped would squelch any crazy notions of having friends over all the time or asking for ones own room as they need more “space” and “privacy” for guests. The no guest policy really seemed like the best route.
Anyway, I slipped a few times and it seems kids actually had “fun” and “laughed” and stuff and now Eloise is pushing for her own room for her ninth birthday because she is like “old” and needs “privacy” and “space” and also a need to place peace sign pictures and pillows throughout her room and build a proper tween shrine to Justice.
So we’ve been dancing around this subject as I’m not too crazy about it for several reasons…
1. We have a three bedroom house so two of them will always share a room
2. Eloise and Esther are the closest in age
3. Astrid is still kind of a baby/toddler type human and I don’t think it’s quite fair to ask Esther, who will be turning seven soon, to share with a child who is still in a crib and wears diapers
4. Eloise and Esther are best friends. Truly. Best friends. I actually think Eloise would be terribly lonely without her. They don’t just share a room – they share a bed.
5. I am too cheap to buy new stuff to properly bling out this room she envisions. She has big visions. I have left-over mix and match furniture and old quilts for her. We don’t have the PB Teen budget to get a cool bed and amazing desk and the beanbag chairs she envisions. I am thinking of shabby Ikea meets the old daybed from the office a la my old desk for high school kind of thing…with at least two peace sign pillows of course.
6. I don’t want this place for “space” and “privacy” to be this place where she thinks she can go slam the door and shut her family out. We have a pretty open door policy and I still want her sisters to feel included.
7. I have a feeling that Esther may feel this same way in a few years and when she wants her space and privacy and own room – where will we put Astrid so her tween sisters have a place to cry through their hormonal issues?
8. MANY people share rooms and space and I just kind of want her to get over it. I believe my mom had four sisters in her room at any one time.
But I get it, I do. I only had a brother so I did have my own room and I LOVED MY ROOM. I lived in my room. It was my respite and my special place that was just mine. I get it….I know that feeling of wanting this…
But I don’t know how to give it to her without ever being able to offer it to her sisters too? Or do we just do it and end up doing some strange room change dance for the next ten years?
My perfect solution is to put the three of them in our master bedroom and make them all share and then Jed and I can finally have our own rooms…but that is neither here nor there.
What would you do?