The Summer Tradition of Camp…

I heard the other night on the news that we should consider a “less structured Summer.”

I need a moment.

As a stay at home mom, who does love her children more than anything in the whole wide world, I frankly cannot handle a less structured Summer.

Now I was a working mom at one point with a high-level, high paying job – and sure my kids did have a “less structured Summer” if you will in that we did not have big plans for the weekend.  We hung out, we played with friends, we went to the pool – but guess what – the other five days were incredibly structured for the kids.  They were in a place with other kids doing structured activities – just without me. Let’s call this “less structured Summer” daycare if you will.

So now as a stay-at-home mom, and again LOVING my kids with everything that I am oh I am now singing Kumbaya, I feel my kids deserve some structure during the Summer because frankly 82 STRAIGHT days of something “less structured” pretty much means OH MY EFFING GOD MY KIDS ARE BORED, THEY HAVE TOLD ME THIS 456,000 TIMES AND I DID NOT SIGN UP TO BE JULIE THE CRUISE DIRECTOR, THEY ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO JUST GO PLAY TWO MILES AWAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS ON YOUR OWN,  AND IF I HAVE TO GO TO THE POOL ONE MORE EFFING TIME AND SHOW MY CELLULITE – SOMEBODY WILL GET HURT.

MOMMA NEEDS SOME STRUCTURE.

My ode to Summer Camp…

If you feel compelled to sing along – here are the original lyrics that I wrote.

Sung “loosely” to the tune of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious because those kids HAD a nanny. A NANNY. Brilliant.

The Summer plan starts each year
before it’s even Spring
We race to registration day
our checkbooks we do bring.

Seeing all the moms in line
with three kids at our legs
We sign up for camps that day
involving horses and some pigs.

Chorus:
Summer camp’s the only way to keep us mothers sane
If you ask us loud enough the answer is the same
I’ll drop you off and wave bye-bye and peel out of the lane
Summer camp’s the only way to keep us mothers sane

The days so long with kids at home
they ask for things all day
“A snack a meal a ride somewhere”
it is their only way.

We say relax enjoy the time
of nothing scheduled here
For kids that means about ten minutes
and then I need a beer

CHORUS

We’d like to say go out and play
enjoy the neighborhood
But stranger danger and bad men
makes us wishing that we could

So we take them everywhere
and watch them at their play
I’ve got other things to do
like blog and tweet today

CHORUS

Summer for stay at home moms
can really get quite long
24/7 of “I’m bored I’m bored”
Made me write this song

So camp it is to fill the time
they’re no worse for the wear
Even though it breaks the bank
I’d rather have them there

CHORUS

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, and fashion expert - and ruler of my own little universe(very small). Aren't we all. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

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