My guilt of only carting my third child to Target, Starbucks and her sister’s various lessons hit a high octave in February. Realizing that she was now 18 months old and had never attended an official baby class of any kind hit my 2011 perfect parenting contract right in the gut. At 18 months, her sisters had been to at least 10.
I panicked. I worried for her preschool career and if she could possibly still socialize appropriately.
I wondered if knowing just how to tweet, blog and check facebook updates would be enough for her.
I decided we should leave the house for some official sanctioned baby class time. I signed us up for a music together class.
********
She sat on my lap in the circle of moms and waited to find out what this was all about. I am pretty sure she wondered where my computer was.
Within seconds of the hello song starting – Astrid got up and walked to my purse on the chair, pulled it down and started dragging it to the door as she yelled “go now mama go now go go go now mama mama go go now now mama door go now!!!!!”
I embarrassingly grabbed her in my arms, returned my purse to the chair and held her tightly as we sat down. I whispered to her how much fun this would be.
She wasn’t convinced. As each new song began – she would say “time go now go now go now mama” and sometimes “me no like” and my favorite was when she would hold her hands over her ears.
Her music teacher told me she would love it eventually. For the next six weeks, nothing changed. She hated it. We would pull up in front of the class and she would start “no music no like go home now mama.”
I would try to play the CD’s at home and Astrid would run and pull on my leg and yell “NO!” and then cover her ears or run to the other room.
But we continued to go because in my house you follow though with your commitments. We signed up for it, we paid for it, we will finish this damn class even if it kills us. And it almost did.
Finally the music teacher asked me “does Astrid listen to music at home?” And I replied “YES!”
Astrid loves music. She sings and dances and kills her sister’s at Wii Just Dance.
And then it dawned on me – being the third child doesn’t just mean you don’t get to take all of these useless and expensive classes, it also means your parents have bought a brain and realized they don’t have to play kid music for you. She had never heard ‘row row row your boat’ or ‘itsy bitsy spider’ or ‘trot old Joe’ or the ever popular ‘wheels on the bus’.
We listen to Top 40 on the radio and Astrid can sing Firework by heart and knows the Flash Mob dance to the Black Eyed Peas ‘I Gotta Feeling.’
So the teacher asked me to bring a CD of music Astrid likes to share with the class.
Remember this class is made up of mainly first time parents.
We put the CD in and Astrid smiled and sang and danced. The other kids joined in.
Some moms looked shocked and stunned and confused and weren’t sure if Lady Gaga was appropriate.
I think I saw a few moms shed of tear of happiness thinking that they could take their radios back and throw Raffi to the curb.
The music teacher may have questioned her usefulness in this parenting process and wondered her financial future.
I felt like a rebel and like I needed to crash every music class in the city and free these women from traditional children’s music bondage.
And everything was going just fine until Rihanna’s S&M came on and Astrid started singing about how chains and whips excite her.
We never returned to class.
awesome!! i love the confidence you had and I love that you very likely did make a positive impression and free some other moms. Good for you for being bold.. and Astrid too!
Astrid will never be accused of NOT being bold. LOL
Awesome! Our baby goes to sleep every night to the Glee soundtrack. If I want to make him smile, I sing “Just a smalltown giiiiiirl, living in a looooonely world!”
Julie @ mamamash recently posted..Apple bottom jeans- boots with the fur- arts- crafts- and Buddy Holly
Oh we LOVE the Glee soundtrack here.
You are like THE awesome-est mom EVAH!!!!
Elaine recently posted..So here we are at 20 months and 5 days
No, just the oldest and most annoyed..;)
Apparently, the popsicles mentioned in Katy Perry’s song are not really popsicles.
OMG this makes me laugh because every time I hear Eloise sing “melt your popsicle” I cringe a little. But just a little.
omg. well, charlie love her some cee lo. one day we were in the car and the non-edited version came on. and i scrambled for the off button as she was singing along. oops.
LOVE Cee Lo. yes, we have also stumbled across the originally intended version. Ahem.
You are just awesome. I wish I lived next door to you. xoxoxo
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Oreo Cheesecake
Now that would be brilliant. I’ll be right over.
I had an awesome cool aunt who’s little kids all new the lyrics to the top forty radio songs. I was in junior high and remember thinking they were the coolest family I had ever known.
Dana
Isn’t it funny how music does this. My mom listened to more “easy listening” and I feel made me really miss out on a lot of early 70′s important music. I do know all of the Carpenter songs by heart though.
Next on our to do list? Dance party! Love it, lady! XO
Galit Breen recently posted..VlogTalk- Annoying Toys
If there is wine, I will be there.
That is freaking awesome that you put on her favorite music in dance class and it was not kids music.
Jessica recently posted..A Weekend with the Family
Thank you. It was so much fun.
There has never been kid music in our house! I must be a terrible first time mother!
Barbara recently posted..Crazy Week
What – did you fail your exit interview into motherhood? tsk tsk. I’ll send you a Raffi CD.
Somewhere I have every.single.one. of those scary, annoying, gets on your nerves, in two seconds flat Kindermuzik cd’s!
Chelsea by two and a half, had attended several music classes, Gymboree, Little Gym and swim classes.
Tas has yet to step foot in any of them.
Now she’s nine.
By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Mammograms If Men Had them Sissies
Never too late to start. Or maybe it is…
How hilarious! With the majority in my house being in the 1-3 year old range we’ve been listening to nothing but kid music for a few years now. I wish I would have started with your technique from the beginning. How will Sawyer ever keep up with Astrid now?
Jessica recently posted..The Hot Seat
I am thinking you need to go cold turkey on them. Astrid will show Sawyer some moves when we meet up.
At first I started reading this post thinking oh shit, I’m a terrible mom b/c my youngest (18 mos) hasn’t been to any classes either. Now at the end? I feel totally free. You just convinced me to continue on with our course of listening to BEP and CeeLo Green (the clean version, of course) and having our Friday night dance parties. That’s enough music for him!
Elena recently posted..Mommy Knows Best
Yes, you are free from your under three classes of any kind. You can pay me in wine.
This is probably my favorite blog post ever. I love your blog because it gives me hope that I might one day enjoy being a mother. I’ve always wanted a time-intensive career, and I figured if I had a Blackberry in one hand and a latte in the other, I wouldn’t have time to think about kids. I vaguely thought that maybe if any guy were silly enough to marry me and if kids came popping out of me, we could just hire a nanny or something. Then I realized I might as well just volunteer at the local Boys and Girls Club if all I wanted were token kids who knew my name and greeted me during my drive-by visits. Also, I was like Astrid as a kid – I refused to listen to children’s music and had memorized the lyrics to my dad’s Eagles Greatest Hits record before my parents realized they should have put it on a higher shelf. So even though I’m not married and I don’t have kids, I read your blog with delight. It shows me there’s hope. There’s hope for kids and Lady Gaga in my future. Because I really don’t think I could choose.
Elizabeth recently posted..How everyone is broken- and broken hurts
So your comment pretty much made my year. Also – I WAS YOU!!!!! At 33 I was not married and had NO plans and I repeat NO plans to EVER EVER have kids. My career and travel were my life.
Now, I cannot imagine my life any other way. Oh the joy in it now. I cannot even begin to describe it. So fricking weird, eh?
Love you.
xo
It’s ridiculously encouraging to read your blog and see that a woman in love with a high-powered career can also be in love with three kids. Because at the same time that I really would like to marry my computer in the future, I secretly do want kids. Because seriously, your kids are adorable. And lots of other kids are, too. So chances are I might also get some adorable ones. And I might also be able to have a career and maybe even live overseas (that was always my dream to do before kids – live in as many countries as possible while making a salary).
So anyway, thank you for being an inspiration.
Elizabeth recently posted..How everyone is broken- and broken hurts
I have been trying for years to take back my radio. I am so sick and tired of hearing, the cat threw up song and the leftovers are coming to get me song.
Thank goodness for Glee, my kids love it and so do I.
So I am just thankful I have never heard either of those songs. Please do not share. Thank you.
Love this! I tried to do “child appropriate” with the Lion King Broadway soundtrack, but that got old. Then the Glee soundtrack, which is pretty kid friendly (except we don’t listen to It Gives You Hell, since I don’t need that coming out to a grocery store cashier.) Now I just listen to top 40, and Dylan’s favorite is hip hop.
Seriously, kids music classes should consider using more “adult friendly” music. I can guarantee my parents didn’t listen to “kid” music. I remember jamming out to Neil Diamond & the Beatles on car rides.
angela recently posted..Why My Kids Can Never Watch Scary Movies
Yes we jammed out to The Carpenters and Helen Reddy. Ahem.
I mean I love Dan Zane and Laurie Berkner. There are some amazing artists who did kids music right that I do believe we can all enjoy.
Laughed so hard at the end!! I guess I would not be going back either
And her picture is adorable. I always love the pictures of your kids.
Stephanie recently posted..The Great Vaseline Incident of 2011
It really is a good alphabet song “…ess ess ess ess..emm emm emm..”
Hahaha!! I have laughter tears as I picture your baby singing “Chains and Whips Excite Me!”
I am totally in your court on this…hate kids music, with a few lulliby exceptions. However, currently I am living at my in-law’s house and my mother in law thinks Raffi is GOD!!!
So now my children can enjoy Baby Beluga alongside Effing Perfect by P!NK.
Jaime recently posted..According to Ainsley 7 – Shyness is Not a Choice
Don’t you just cry when Perfect comes on. oh sob.
So I agree – lullabies are the exception.
Also – great, now I’m singing ‘Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea’ all the ding dong day…
LOL at “she wondered where my computer was.” Yeah, all those classes should just be renamed “first kid classes”.
Marinka recently posted..Question
Third kid classes really should involve laptops.
M does more traditional kid’s songs in daycare, and at home we attempt to show her that the best music comes from iTunes… When she was a baby I didn’t know any lullabies, so I sang her Cure songs and Beatles songs. She still asks me to sing Blackbird to her. Now we’re pushing The Replacements, Prince, Cake, and anything else that doesn’t have swearing in it.
My MIL also keeps giving us “kids music” CD’s that never seem to make it out of their packaging…
Amelia Sprout recently posted..The 300 Pound Gorilla
I know – I see all of the nicely wrapped new CD’s at Goodwill that all of us secretly donate…
Also – LOVE Blackbird.
HAHAHA!! 3rd kid over here and no kids music! Astrid is hilarious. Telling you she didn’t want to go!!!
Amy recently posted..just fine
For an hour – every Friday – while the other kids had fun – I was trying to make me kid so how fun this was! ha!
Neither of my children have ever been to a “class.” They go to a sitter who has other kids there and that’s enough class for me.
Lisa recently posted..PYHO- Thats What Friends are For
Now I like that kind of class.
Love this post- we don’t really have a filter on music in our house and our 2.5 year old can sing along to Kid Rock, Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas. He does get “traditional” music in daycare, but he would never want to listen to it at home or in the car.
OH I can just see the horrified looks on those other moms faces! HAHAHAHA! LOVE it!!
Funny thing is – 8 years ago that was totally me – like I needed to do Wheels on the Bus with all the correct body motions. ACK!
Awesome!
I love how you are so in tune with your kids.
You rock, mama!
And that photo? Swoon!
Nichole recently posted..Top 10 Ways to Make Your Neighbors Hate You
Thank you. She slays me.
Do you know how many Music Together classes I’ve sat through?
Here’s the thing: Sawyer went beginning at six months and he was my early talker. I didn’t take Sage til she was 18 months. Speech delay. Never took X. Speech delay. You don’t think I wonder if there’s a correlation?
Anyway. I know so well the third-child guilt. And yet there’s a whole lot of learning going on for him courtesy of his older sibs – who are FREE!, unlike Music Together.
xo
I like free.
I do think that is interesting to think about. Eloise started at 6 months and she was talking in complete sentences by a year. Esther started at birth yet had speech issues that eventually went away by three and a half. Astrid has never been – well until now – and I cannot get the girl to shut up.
Go Mama go! Astrid is already ahead of her peers and WAY cooler than they’ll ever be. Instilling good taste in music or at least a better sense of music in your toddler is worth way more than those ‘music’ classes anyday!!
And LOVE your pictures of that little sassy girl. She’s beautiful!
Alexia recently posted..When it Literally Pours
Thank you. I just think how differently I am doing it now vs when my first was new. LOL
this couldn’t be MORE perfect, does that child take a bad picture…no? I didn’t think so
I was actually thinking about this same subject just yesterday and how my kids hear ALL Of our music in the house (iPods, XM radio, etc) and in the car (XM radio, All of our CDs…the other day we had the WICKED soundtrack on and Jacob said “I like this song” ..and my heart burst open LOL)
I love that she knows all the words, even to S&M…hey it’s a good song.
Kir recently posted..RemembeRED- The Ritual
Photographers secret – for every amazing picture – there were 50 that I deleted..
xo
I absolutely love this post. My kids learned ‘kid songs’ in kindergarten. Even the songs I would sing at bedtime were not kid songs or lullabies, just favorites.
The #1 choice here is an old Boxcar Willie cassette that I got for 99 cents at the second hand store. My kids all (yes, all 3-11) go crazy and dance like freaks to this one.
We listen to a little bit of everything here, just not ‘kids music’, and my baby girl loves Just Dance for the Wii too.
Wendy D recently posted..Wednesdays Without Electronics – Our Own WWE
Oh I would love Boxcar Willie. We love bluegrass also. One of our all time fav cd’s is the soundtrack to O’ Brother Where Art Thou.
Holy Shit, I can’t stop laughing!
Alexa recently posted..Workout Tunes
Love this post. And so true.
Brooke recently posted..Summer Schedule
This post (besides being HYSTERICAL) confirmed my decision to never. ever. ever. take a class like this with either of my kids.
Instead, I made them play with my friends’ kids while we drank champagne.
But I’m old fashioned like that.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me madder
Champagne is always the right answer. It took me 8 years to learn that. You really could have called sooner.
Ava is the same way – she never heard kid music, although aside from Sesame Street and Laurie Berkner, my older two didn’t really either.
I do have cringe when the girls new favorite comes on and they sing about waking up to do some P90X, meet a really nice girl and have some really nice sex. Oof.
Oh em gee – yeah, I love the lyrics they sing without a care for what they actually mean. oy.
My daughter LOVES the top 40!!
I can’t do kiddie music..it hurts my feelings.
Leighann recently posted..Big Steps
It pretty much makes me cry too.
This was hysterical. As a first-time mom, I’m proud of the fact that I don’t play kid music in the car. We listen to the radio, same as I did growing up. And I turned out fine. I think. Relatively speaking.
That said, Lil’ Bit does love her HooplaKidz videos. Every evening when we get home from work/daycare, she snuggles in with her daddy and watches rudimentary animated videos of all the classic nursery rhymes on YouTube while I cook dinner. And that’s it. She had her fill. No Elmo, Dora, Phinneus & Ferb, or TV in general for her. She wants none of it. She’s fine with her 30 minutes or so of HooplaKidz time on YouTube.
And then it’s back to Katy Perry in the car.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Gone Fishin’
Well I have to admit that even though Astrid hates kids music – she has an unhealthy obsession with Elmo. Shhh, it’s our secret.
Absolutely HILARIOUS. We took lots of music together sessions with my son, and he enjoyed them well enough. I love that she started singing the S&M song (which I too love).
Marta recently posted..SAHM vs Working Mom – Advice Requested!
Oh my older two girls LOVED music class. They also now love Rihanna. lol
I know, we must be kind: and let those first time parents know it does NOT have to be all about brain enlargement.
You can have fun while you raise your kids, too.
Most excellent post.
And my guy loves to sing, “baby you’re a firework.”
Alexandra recently posted..Sunday Best – Love in the Chaos
I think about the four years I spent at music classes, ECFE, storytimes and gymnastics for my babies as a first time parent.
Looking back – they did love it…but now I roll my eyes at myself. xo
I want you to be my mom!
liz recently posted..&8216Cuz Everybody Needs a 3D Dog!
I am nearly old enough to be. Maybe just a cool big sister who buys you beer?
Our third girls need to jam together. Every time we get in the car Addie asks for Beyonce’s Single Ladies. I’m pretty sure she knows all the words. I don’t think she’s ever heard Raffi or the Wiggles!!
Ann recently posted..Simple Womans Daybook- June 6- 2011
My older ones used to LOVE the Wiggles. I admit I encouraged that behavior as Anthony the blue one – IS HOT!!!!!
That is awesome. As a first time parent, I use all the first time parent songs. Mazzy loves them. We used to play regular music but then something happened where i realized I should download some kid’s songs. What was it? Oh I know! I joined a music class!
Now Mazzy makes me play a song called “Fire truck” on repeat the entire morning. MY EARS!!!!
Ilana recently posted..Angry Waiters- Manly Gifts & Unsexy Parents
I can so relate to this…My 3rd child’s favorite music consists of Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry, and censored Eminem. And for this I don’t feel guilty
Runnermom-jen recently posted..Happiness Is
Best reason EVER not to have to go back to a silly music class!
Becky @Accidental Southern Mama recently posted..Crazy Days of Summer Photo Challenge Week 2- Refreshing
This brings back memories of the time I went to pick up Charlie from preschool-he was four. They had had ‘music time with Wendy’, and she sat them in a circle and had them all tell their favorite song/music. As they went around, the traditional kids songs came up, and when they got to Charlie he loudly proclaimed “Stevie Ray Vaughn!” All the teachers cracked up, including the music teacher. The teachers could hardly wait to tell me about it when I went to pick him up. I have never been so proud….
There is so much great music, no reason to believe it has to have a wiggle or an animal in it for a kid to love it!
maybaby recently posted..extremes
When our oldest, Elliot, was around 3 yrs. old he loved DCTalk (Toby Mac). It was a bit odd hearing a 3 year old singing in the backseat of the car, “I don’t want your sex for now.”
)
Rachelle recently posted..Ducks on Bixby
So there must be some third child syndrome going on here. I feel so guilty about my 3rd’s lack of “real” toddler and preschool experiences. One of our favorite activities to do together is to sit at the kitchen table each with our own laptops and “do our work” – hers involve PBSKids and mine is blogging. That’s sad, right.
She is also a total top 40 kid. She is in love with my ipod touch and enjoys carrying it with her everywhere and singing along. We have had some embarrassing situations and have also been asked not to bring her CDs to her prek class.
Your 3rd is a beautiful rebel!
Rock on my friend.
Making It Work Mom recently posted..The Buffer
My entire parenting goal with Aliza is to try my hardest to treat her as if she’s a second or third kid
Yuliya recently posted..Feelin’ Kludgy
ROFL – Love it!
TheMeTheWifeTheMom recently posted..Long Live Love
Hahaha! Loved this post! I’d have to say my 3rd? Never heard any of the “traditional” kid songs either, in fact, he’ll start screaming at the top of his blessed lungs if I even try to change it from Top 40 stations who are playing his music. Heaven forbid if Pitbull is on.
Oh – how have I lived without you this long?? I have an 11 year old and an 8 year old. Excellence in parenting is only possible for the first child, and I am convinced that is why subsequent siblings are often more well adjusted in life! (Can I mention here that we fogot to teach our “baby” to tie her shoes? And didn’t NOTICE she couldn’t tie shoes until just recently? She’s EIGHT.) I can’t wait to go through your blog and catch up on your life!