The mundane, the usual, the everyday…none of that makes me feel completely like a mom.
The expectations, the requirements. Fixing breakfasts, packing lunches, laying out clothing.
Brushing hair, hugs and kisses.
Kissing boo-boos, snuggles in the evening, books, baths, counting toes.
Baking together, digging in the garden, pushing on the swing, throwing a ball.
It is all good, it is all so perfect and encompassing and lovely. But truly none of it makes me feel 100% like their mom.
What makes me feel like their mom is that moment their eyes find me in the crowd. In the audience. On the bleaches. During their performance, during the game, during their play, during their concert…they find me out there in the sea of moms and they find me.
Their eyes light up, their whole face smiles, when they are very young they may point or jump up and down or shout “MOM” or nudge their friend and point me out.
In that moment they find my eyes and we are locked in forever almost alone in the crowd…I sob. Every time. That is when I know I am a mother.