“Hey Trace, do you think I could use your hair color on my beard?”
What hair color – this is my natural color!!
“Yeah, okay – the non-hair color that I see you apply every month when evidently you are having an out of body experience?”
Oh, that hair color..No, it is a one time application and then you have to throw it away because of all the bad chemicals in it that I pollute my body with. What do you need it for?
“Well my beard came in really gray..”
What beard – when did you grow a beard?? (I turn and look up at my husband..) Holy shit, when did that appear on your face?
“Like 6 weeks ago…”
Wow – holy gray batman. Yeah, I don’t think my hair color would work, you need that beard stuff that you comb in like everyday since whiskers grow so fast..you know, “Just for Men” (snicker snicker..)
“Do you think the gray looks bad?”
No, it looks fine. You know the baristas at the coffee shop realize you are not 25..
“Do you think that stuff really works?”
I have no idea and have no intention on growing a beard for another 10 years until I am deep into menopause. Then, I plan on waxing..not keeping it brown.
“But do you think I should color it?”
Well since I didn’t even know you had grown a beard, I am going to go with “no” I do not think I will notice…and I also know you are not 25.