A Man Goes to the Market..

I have a lot on my plate.ย  Once in awhile my husband sweetly asks “may I go grocery shopping for you?”ย  You know, to lighten my load.

So I shoot daggers out of my eyes sweetly reply “really, no thank you, I can manage the shopping.”

I decline, not to be a martyr, but for the love of god, do you know how much work it is to send him to the grocery store?

My shopping list

My phone rings at least 25 times, a minimum of 10 texts come in, the list I have to write takes me 12 hours to write to make sure all details are covered and products are not confused, and he takes about 10 hours to do the shopping and by then..dinner is over!

Same shopping list written for him…but still not enough as the phone continually rings

But I am ever so grateful for his offer.


Jenny Matlock

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

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  1. says

    I can SO relate! I love the Fr. Bread – I hope self explanatory?

    I’ve had to give the “Hello, do you live here?” response to my husband’s grocery selections in the past.

    Good luck!

  2. Jessica says

    Wow. I feel a little bit better knowing that I react the same way to my husband’s offer to grocery shop. And I have to make the same kind of list for him too!

  3. says

    You just have to say yes more often…seriously! I think my dh frequents the grocery store or Costco more than I do at this stage in our life…it’s so much quicker for him to navigate without 2 to 4 kids in tow…yes, I had to be pretty specific at first…and sometimes there are still things that I’m like, “Really? Have you ever seen this in our house?” But now after some training, I can text him a list & voila! He arrives home just a few minutes past normal with said groceries! Although, this week is super double coupons, so that’s all on me!
    Melanie H. recently posted..A Quiet Family New Year!

  4. Kristi Green says

    Hysterical! Seriously…Jeremy calls/texts me not only when he is at the store, but additionally when I am at the store (with 3 kids in tow!)for random stuff! But even with a detailed, sometimes with pictures, list, he will still forget things or get the completely wrong item! Ha…super funny. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. jill r says

    Oh my gosh….I could have written this post! My DH, love him, but he cannot follow a shopping list to save his soul. He was at Target once and called to see if I needed anything so I went out on a limb and asked for 1 thing, orange pop. He called me back, and said Target didn’t have orange pop…I thought “yeah, suuuuuure they don’t have orange pop” and while we were on the phone a stock person walked by and he showed DH where the orange pop was hiding. *eyeroll* Love me some Orange Sunkiss.

  6. Sahnya says

    Love it and can totally relate! On rare occasions I have Joel pick up something (max 3 items) on his way home, and always limit it to a small store (like Trader Joes). Last time I got a frantic call as he rattled off each of the kinds of canned tomatoes to make sure he got the right ones even though I said it didn’t matter since I was just going to puree them into pizza sauce.

  7. says

    As soon as I saw the title I knew I’d be nodding in agreement with every word. Your lists are like mine…all abbreviations. why is that so hard to figure out? Guys get married and it’s like their brain just goes to mush.
    Kate recently posted..miscellaneous december

  8. Rachel says

    I will have to send Mike up there for training. Grocery shopping is one thing he can do well. He’s gone for 4 hours, but it’s better to be home alone with 4 kids than at the store with them!
    What do you need 7 1/2 pounds of chicken breast for?

    • admin says

      Well Mike also does the cooking – so I really do believe you understand your way around the store if you understand what you are doing with the things you are buying.

      Like, don’t ever ask me to enter an auto-parts store as I would be clueless as to what all of those items are.

      ..and it’s 1 1/2 lbs. My 7’s have lines through them. Or, we were really hungry that day.

  9. stacey says

    Mine is Awesome to help and actually does pretty well with knowing what brands & sizes… HOWEVER, he can normally increase our bill by 50.00 with items such as: oatmeal creme pies, nutty bars, 3 flavors of Oreos (never ‘diet Oreos’ as he calls the originals), pop-tarts, multiple selection of Cheetos and M&M’s by the pound… YEAH… he’s on the, desert after every meal plan… guess who the favorite parent is at our house!!!

    • admin says

      Jed is also Mr. Dessert. I am not. I NEVER buy sweets or ice cream – and still 12 years later after I come home from shopping he asks “did you buy ice cream?” NO.

  10. says

    Totally funny and oh so true! I still haven’t learned to be quiet and not complain when he brings home weird brands and the wrong stuff. His reply is always the same “you go next time!”.
    Rachelle recently posted..Italian Meatball Soup

  11. says

    Oh my, I think I’ve got my Hubby pretty well trained. The only trouble he usually has is with coupons. He doesn’t read the fine print for specific sizes/varieties, so then the cashier won’t accept the coupon.

  12. says

    I’ve had a good laugh reading all of this! Daughter – I just can’t seem to buy less then the “family” size even though my family left years ago:) Always ready for company I guess! Come visit and you won’t go hungry!

  13. says

    Hold on a minute…

    You’re clearly NOT my wife, and I’m clearly not your husband… but the voice is the same… The description, the facts… all the same.

    Uncanny. Dang.

  14. Pondside says

    My dear husband, The Great Dane, does the grocery shopping from time to time, and I get the calls and the texts. I also get the GIANT size olive oil, the EXTRA LARGE ketchup, the case of paper towel and flats of soup. There are two of us here – what is he thinking????

  15. says


    I love this post!

    Oh, I am laughing my butt off here.

    This is wonderful. Absolutely spot on.

    One of the funniest posts I’ve read in a long time.

    Thanks for starting my morning with a laughter. I will be smiling about this all day!

    Absolutely magnificent stop on my little journey through Alphabe-Thursday’s letter “M”!



    PS. Can you kinda/sorta tell I liked this post?
    Jenny Matlock recently posted..Saturday Centus – Shake up! Hey- dont groanyou love it!

  16. says

    SO TRUE! Sometimes my husband will call and ask if he needs to bring anything home on his way from work… and without fail if I ask him for something I’ll get at least 1, usually 2 phonecalls asking for clarification *L*
    mub recently posted..M&M unMixing Machine