The hardest part of being a mom is the constant worry for your kids. I do not consider myself a chronic worrier and am actually pretty “take it as it comes” – but it seems like every day there is just a little something on my mind about one of my kids that takes up space in my brain that I need to figure out.
I don’t sweat the big stuff, the physical stuff. I let them try and I let them fall. I let triumph and I let them cry. That stuff doesn’t bother me.
What bothers me is the emotional stuff, the slight changes in behavior – the quiet moods, the angry attacks, the lack of communication, the unwillingness to share.
We are human and we all need our space and I know even a 5 year old needs space and the right to their own feelings, thoughts and quiet moments.
I hate being that mom saying “what’s wrong honey?” ” are you tired?” “did something happen at school today? – and realizing already that is the WRONG way to get information from your kids. What you get is “nothings wrong” “I am fine” and “nothing happened” and probably “leave me alone.”
I need to respect their space while finding better ways to allow them to communicate with me. Until this happens, I just sit here and worry about their fragile little selves and how even a mother’s embrace can’t solve the worlds problems.
I really do believe that God is working all things (even the crummy ones) for our good (Romans 8:28), but that doesn’t mean that I don’t ache when I see that my child has been hurt or slighted or when I think about someone mean saying something that just crushes them…or the harsh realities of growing up in a world that can be so cruel & hateful…just wanting to bring them down. So I try (but often fail) to use opportunities where I could fret to instead encourage & build them up. I know that a mom’s embrace won’t always fix things, but I think filling them up with love does go a long way towards buffering the negative. Really nice post, Tracy!
Consumate worrier, my hand is up, and waving. So wish I could turn off the switch. A timely post Tracy, one I need to read every day.
Dana
a mother’s hug doesn’t solve problems, but it sure makes both of you feel better! I am a firm believer in the idea that unhappy adults didn’t get enough hugs growing up.
kp recently posted..before the snow
ooh, I agree with kp. Hugs are powerful! And I’m the same way, elbow scrapes get very little attention but “I don’t want to go to that birthday party.” and “I just want to play in my room today.”– those things make me worry.
gorgeous sweater, btw. You’re killing me here.
Michelle L. recently posted..happiness floods in
I find the best way to get them to open up is to try and make some one on one time with them, give them some space and a place to talk. Make some cocoa, or go out with them to a coffee shop if you can manage it. One thing that tends to work with my boy is to tell him some stories of what it was like for me to be young. They need to know their experience isn’t unique. And sometimes, all they need is you. Just you. No siblings, no tasks, no nothing. Just you.
Kate recently posted..wine braised pot roast
I’m going through the same thing with one of mine right now. It is so hard not to just want to dig and ask and push and fix.
Thanks ladies – I am hoping more snuggles and hugs will help. I just worry so much when it is my usually very outgoing, fun-loving child who has become so introverted as of late. ;(
xoxo,t
Oh, and Michelle – yes that sweater is still available.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Monika Melsha, Tracy Morrison. Tracy Morrison said: I am not even Catholic anymore, and the worry and guilt still get to me http://bit.ly/9Qr0D0 [...]
I love this post so much. It really hits close to home. And thank you for stopping by my site today!
Heidi recently posted..After The Storm
The emotional stuff is MUCH harder for a mother to deal with… worry is part of the job. I don’t like it. I say, keep asking, keep talking, keep hugging. Esther is SO pretty!!
Rachelle recently posted..Rachael Rays Carbonara
It’s the worry about the emotional stuff that will kill you. And try having an super sensitive son that won’t tell you anything because he’s a *cool* (read: insecure) teenager. I think Im getting a PhD in worrying, lol. :/
Lisa recently posted..German Shepherd Gifts updated Mon Nov 15 2010 8-06 am CST
This is happening with M, too, and she’s E’s age. She has ALWAYS been extremely extroverted and there are times of late when she seems quiet, wants alone time, and is just “different.”
I do not ever NOT worry….even though I do honestly believe in Romans 8:28 (cited by Melanie and just so happens to be the current focal-point-verse right now in my life). It’s just that as a mom, well, I am always thinking about her and always about if she is happy.
Amanda M. recently posted..Wordless Wednesdayor not