Actual conversation with my 7 year old…
Eloise: Mom, are you coming to my play tomorrow?
Me: Of course, I hope it doesn’t last more than 15 minutes. I wouldn’t miss it. I am bringing your sisters and we will sit in the front row!
Eloise: Well, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.
Me: Of course we are coming. I totally want to come. Please god let Astrid behave.
Eloise: Well, it is your choice if you want to come or not.
Me: Well I choose to come to your play. I am looking forward to it. Because I am your mom and I don’t have a choice.
Eloise: Well, if you really do not want to come, I am fine with that.
Eloise: You can do anything you want to do.
Me: Well, if you don’t want me there, I can respect that and not come. I think I need an interpreter.
Eloise: You hate me, you all hate me, nobody wants to come to MY things, MY plays. Nobody cares about me. I can’t believe you aren’t coming to my play!!!!! (hides under bed covers sobbing….)
Me: So, you do want me to come? I think I need a drink.
Eloise: It is up to you really if you want to come or not. I really don’t care either way.
Me: Well, I am coming dammit, whether you like it or not. SO THERE!!! (storms out of room, slamming door…) Off to pour vodka.
Eloise: (yelling through closed door…)FINE – just come then. But don’t talk to me or do anything embarrassing!!
If this is 7, then what the hell is 12 going to be like??? Lord help me.