(my aunt sandy and my mom)
I asked my mom what it is like to have a mother’s day and to not be able to call your mother. Can you still enjoy it as a mom and grandmother, even without your own mom to call?
She didn’t really answer me(which perhaps answers my question in the action) and instead wrote a quick story about what it was like for her growing up. Her mother wasn’t perfect, just like the rest of us. Shocking isn’t it? It’s our imperfections that make us good mothers – vulnerable, open to learn, living and learning from love.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the women in my life(and to those who are no longer here to call).
by Ginny Brandt(Tracy’s Mom)
My Mother was such a special lady. She was unlike anyone I have ever met. She was the center of our family. We all loved her more than words can express, even if she wasn’t one to outwardly express her love.
In my 50+ years of having her in my life I don’t remember her ever talking about another personal unkindly, she didn’t swear, spank, smoke and she was a great listener.
But while I was growing up, she worked outside the home, so as the family grew we became responsible for one another – there are 7 of us, 6 girls and 1 boy. I am the oldest. Here are things I remember: We all had responsibilities around the house every day and every Saturday was cleaning day, her method of discipline was random threats whenever she was frustrated “if you do that one more time I will —” (which of course NEVER happened), we went to church every Sunday, and came home to a dinner of fried chicken and either visited relatives or danced to our 33′s.
Heaven forbid we should talk about personal stuff like periods, dating or SEX!!! Her teaching method for that was “get a book to READ about it”! I think she saw me attend one school dance, otherwise was working. She did not attend PTA and is she had her druthers would have preferred to stay out of the school altogether - which may have stemmed for the fact she had only completed the 10th grade. She never helped us with homework and never asked if we had it completed.
We had a clean house, laundry done, meals in our bellies and we knew to stay “in-line”. We didn’t go on shopping trips (other than to buy our 1 outfit to start school), we didn’t eat at fast food places (although once in a while as a treat we went to the A & W) but we were allowed to go anywhere we wanted as long as we were home by dinner time and bed time!!
No hugs and no kisses and no I love you’s.
Wow just reading this makes me realize how things have changed.
Now here is the realization of my upbringing and my Mother’s Love: We all graduated, some attended college or business school (which we all paid for ourselves), we all are employed and drugs or alcohol were ever an issue. We are a close family and as we grew older we became good friends with our Mother (still didn’t really talk about “personal stuff”!) She had a wonderful sense of humor and I for one loved to call her and tell her something funny just to hear her laugh. We lived 700 miles away but I called her almost every day. I MISS HER – I WISH I COULD HOLD AND KISS HER
This weekend for Mother’s Day the 6 of us girls will fly to Florida from 4 different states to spend time with each other and remember Mom.
Maybe the moral of my story is : You don’t have to be the center of your children’s world to become the center of theirs…….. Happy Mother’s Day.
Love you, Mom