Do you have those bugs where you live? You know the hairy centipede thingamajigs with the 10,000 legs. They usually hang out in the bathroom or laundry room? I would post a picture for your reference, but doing so would make me vomit to look at it again, so I will spare you.
My morning started as so…
…I took off my clothes and sat on the potty, started the shower(you know because it is Earth Week and I wanted to waste water for 3 minutes to get it nice and hot..), grabbed for the roll of toilet paper and one of those bugs was SITTING ON THE TOILET PAPER – and I TOUCHED it – and then freaked and fell off of the toilet and onto the floor, hitting my head on the sink on my way down(we have a freakishly small bathroom) – but then the sucker – after also flying through the air – landed on the floor right next to me, so I SCREAMED and then managed to launch myself into the air to avoid touching it again as it started scurrying towards me. (mind you again that I am totally naked) On my way back into the air I hit my back on the radiator and my knee on the toilet(mind you also that I have yet to wipe), and manage to open the bathroom door to land in the hallway – the place I will now call the “centipede safe zone”.
I quickly slammed the bathroom door shut to somehow contain the bug, hugged my knees, sobbed – naked and still unwiped in the hallway.
This was all before 5:30 this morning.
So how is your Monday going?
Oh, and don’t forget to visit here to find out who Horshack is and perhaps win a contest.